


The End has Arrived

by Natural_Selexion



Category: Columbine - Fandom, Dylan Klebold - Fandom, Eric Harris - Fandom
Genre: Columbine, F/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:35:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 52,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29823654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Selexion/pseuds/Natural_Selexion
Summary: My take on a time travel story.As Always, you see the tags. Don't read it if it offends. No need to try to fight me.
Relationships: Dylan Klebold/Original Female Character(s), Eric Harris/Reader
Comments: 36
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

I think that everyone my age had a vision that it would be a completely different world by the year 2021. We expected factories to have replaced their workers with robots, houses that cleaned themselves, flying cars. Yet, here I am at 34 years old with my 2005 Dodge that almost gives me a heart attack when I have to drive it longer than a few hours at a time and a house that seems to be always filthy even though I live alone.   
I chose the path of a solo life years ago. After many failed relationship attempts and going through my own traumatic childhood, it seemed love just wasn’t in the cards for me and kids were for sure a no go. I was lucky enough to meet my best friend, Casey, in my early twenties and she too had chosen the same path as I. We shared so many of the same interests that it still blew my mind over a decade into the friendship when we would get on one of our obsessive kicks together. When the only excitement you have in life is going to work every day and counting down the days until your yearly beach trip, it’s hard not to fall back into the same routine of watching the same youtube videos over and over and fantasizing about the what if’s. 

So as I laid on my couch watching “Eric in Columbine” for at least the 7,000th time, while stuffing my face with sour skittles, I let my mind go to what it would have been like if I could have been there. For almost 22 years I had studied both of the boys and felt like I knew everything there was to know about them. When everything first happened, I also felt like I was a hybrid of the two. I was full of hate and lashed out over anything, but I also craved love and acceptance. I was drawn to the boys and to the case and as I got older it was as if they consumed my mind 80% of the time. There wasn’t a single day that something didn’t make me think about them. Casey was the same. It was one of the first things that brought us together as friends. It’s hard to be open about things like this and we could do just that with each other without any sort of judgment. Though we had the slight issue of both being equally possessive of Eric, and it had caused a few hurt feelings over the years. We would eventually realize how completely stupid it was to be fighting over someone who had been dead for 2 decades and go back to normal.   
I was snapped out of my thoughts by the banging on my apartment door. I looked down at the time on my laptop and saw that it was almost 11pm, so I knew it couldn’t be anyone besides Casey.  
“Y/n for the love of God please open the door!” she yelled out from the other side as I unlocked all 5 of the locks on the door. You don’t just study details about serial killers and mass murders and not take precautions.  
When I finally opened the door, Casey came rushing in and went straight past me over to the couch where my laptop was still opened.  
“What are you doing?” I asked as she panted for air like she had ran from her apartment across town to mine.  
“Just wait” she breathed out.  
I went to sit beside her as she pulled up a webpage and then forced the computer into my lap.  
“Read it!” she demanded.  
I saw the headline on the top of the page and gave her a look.  
“Y/n, read the damn article!”   
With my eyes back on the screen, I scanned the page and with each sentence I read, I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe. My ears started to ring, and my fingers went numb.  
“Oh my god” I finally let out.  
“I know!” she squealed as the room started to spin and I knew that I was having a panic attack.  
The article had been published less than an hour ago. The company in New York had been working for years on an experimental pill that would give a person the ability to go back in time. I of course knew about this, as well as the rest of the world. It never crossed my mind that it would actually be a thing. The article stated that they were looking for volunteers to try the drug out and they were accepting video entries from interested people.   
After I calmed myself down, I flew off of the couch and into the bathroom. I pulled my hair down from my ponytail and pulled on the button up shirt that I had worn to work that day. I ran back to the couch and pulled up the camera on my laptop.  
“Are you doing this right now?” Casey asked as she watched me run around in a panic.  
“Of course I am. You are to” I let her know as I positioned the laptop on the coffee table to where we could both be seen.  
When I hit record, the words started spilling out before I even had a chance to really consider what I should say. The requirements were to tell where you wanted to go, what year, to see who, and why. I gave them all of that and more. After I had rambled on for almost 15 minutes, I turned to Casey with apologetic eyes.  
“What she said I guess” she said before she hit stop and then sent the video.  
“Oh shit. I wanted to watch it first to make sure I didn’t look as hysterical as I feel”  
“Don’t worry. You did” she replied with a laugh.

We sat in the same spot for several hours going over what would happen if they actually picked us. We concluded that it absolutely would not happen and then Casey left, and I got ready for bed.

After the first 3 days, I lost faith. After a week, I let myself grieve. After 2 weeks I had just about forgotten about it all.  
I was sitting at my desk waiting for the time to tick away so I could clock out and start my weekend when I decided to check my e-mail just one more time. There it was.

From: New York Center of Science and Research  
Dear Mrs. Y/L/N,  
We were intrigued with your entry. We would like to have a zoom meeting with you at your earliest convenience. Please let us know a time that is good for the both of you and we will get it set up.

I nearly fell out of my chair. Fuck the time. I grabbed my bag and took off out of the building. When I made it to my car and my phone connected to the Bluetooth, I dial Casey.  
“Bitch! They want to talk to us! I need to know a good time so I can let them know!”  
“That’s not funny Y/n”  
“I am not laughing! This is not a drill!”  
Once I finally convinced her that I was being serious, she told me to write them back and let them know that we could do it this evening and this that wasn’t okay then anytime this weekend. I sent the e-mail as soon as I got home and within the hours, Casey was at my apartment and we were camped out in front of my laptop constantly refreshing the page.  
“You know you can’t leave until we hear from them right?” I asked as I hit refresh again.  
“I packed a bag” she said, eyes glued to the screen.

After several hours of the same scenario, Casey went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine and a glass for each of us.  
“Might as well try to calm our nerves while we go blind staring at this screen” she said while filling our glasses up.  
By the time our glasses were empty, we had loosened up a bit and had made a game out of seeing who could go the longest without refreshing the page. She won every single time.  
I had almost given up hope that we would be hearing back from them tonight, when a e-mail finally came through. Casey clicked it open and all it had was the zoom link.  
“Here goes nothing” she said as she took my glass out of my hand and set both of them down away from the camera.  
When the screen finally loaded, there was a woman who looked to be in her 50’s and a younger guy, maybe even younger than us. The lady started the conversation.  
“Good evening. Thank you for getting back to us at such a timely manner. I will get straight to the point. We loved your concept. So much so that we are going to redo our announcement and see if we could get some more people on board with this approach. So far, we have only gotten a handful of interesting entries with your’s being one of them. Most of the others are just people wanting to relive their glory days or something else completely useless. To try to change something so tragic, now that’s a concept”  
I opened my mouth to respond but she just continued talking.  
“If you agreed to do this then you would need to know some things. First of all, Once you are there, You will not be able to return until the task is finished. Either the event is stopped or it isn’t. The moment either of those things happen you will be sent back to your present time. If the event still happens then when you return, it will be as it is now. If it is stopped however, we have no way of knowing what it will change for you or those involved. We cannot guarantee that you will come back and things will be the same for you here. If you agree to this then you will have to sign lots of paperwork stating that you were made aware of all of this”  
“Are you saying that we are going?” I finally interrupt.  
The guy gave me a smile as he nodded his head at the screen.  
“We would need you both the get to New York by Monday morning to have the proper tests performed and to get all of the paperwork done. As long as everything goes smoothly then you should be in the year that you requested by Friday. Will you be able to get here by then?” the woman continued.  
“As long as I can find a flight then we will be there” I let her know as Casey looked back and forth between me and the screen with wide eyes.  
“It looks as if your friend has some concerns. Talk it over and then shoot me an e-mail to verify that you will be here. I will then send you the address of where you need to be”  
The screen went black and I instantly busted into tears.  
“Y/n we do not have time for that right now so get your shit together. What about our jobs? What am I going to tell my parents?”  
“Fuck the jobs. We can get more. If they don’t understand that we are doing this for the greater good then we don’t need them. Tell your parents whatever you need to. We are going” I replied as I wiped the tears off of my face and pulled up the airlines website.  
“There’s one flight between now and Monday”  
“Look at the price Y/n. How are we going to do this?”  
“We use the beach fund” I replied.  
“I mean, I guess if we are going to be teenagers in the 90’s for over a year then we won’t really need the beach” she thought about it for a minute before she nodded her head at me.  
“Do it”  
I quickly bought the tickets and started to feel my hands go numb again.  
I sent the e-mail to let them know that we would be there and as Casey made the calls to her family and job, I packed a bag. I didn’t have the first clue what I would need. Would my clothes from now be going with me to the 90’s? I weigh at least 20lbs more than I did at 16 so they are going to fall right off of me. As the thoughts poured into my mind, I started to laugh hysterically at the fact that I was thinking about clothes when in less than a week I would be a teenage girl in a different time, with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.  
I felt the vomit coming up and made it to the bathroom before I puked up everything I had ever ate.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking out of the airport doors, I was over come with the feeling of this can’t be real. It has to be another one of my very vivid dreams or something. There’s no way that I am in New York right now getting ready to take some kind of magic pill that is going to send me back 22 years.  
“Please get out of your head and give the cab driver the address” Casey said as she lightly shoved me and brought me back to the present.  
I rattled off the address to the guy and 30 minutes later, we were dropped off in front of a huge building.  
The front door opened and the same woman from the zoom call came down the stairs to greet us.  
“As I told you before, you will have a room here for the week. Once you are deemed fit for travel, you will be on your way. We will start with the tests and instructions first thing in the morning so get plenty of rest” she let us know as she led us from the elevator and down a long hallway. When she opened the door, I was caught off guard by what was inside. There were 4 rows of bunk beds in the middle of the room. Off to one side there was a living area with couches and a tv, on the other side there was a small kitchen area.  
The woman closed the door behind us as another woman that looked to be the same age as us appeared from the living area.  
“Hey! I’m Paige. I’m so glad that someone else finally showed up! I’ve been here alone since yesterday and I was starting to think that I was the only one crazy enough to volunteer for something like this”  
We introduced ourselves and after we chose our bunks, we met her back in the living area.  
“So you two are the Columbine girls right?”  
“How did you guess that?” Casey asked as she sat down beside me on one of the couches.  
“Because you are the only ones that got to bring a friend” she said with a laugh.  
“Ah, that makes sense” I chimed in as I shook my head.  
“So where are you going?” Casey asked.  
“Almost the same year as you two. I’ll be in 1995. Mcveigh” she said as she wiggled her eyebrows at us.  
“Holy shit” I breathed out.  
“Yeah man. I can’t wait to meet the guy that’s going after Dahmer. He’s got to be a real bad ass” she started but was interrupted as the door opened and 4 more people entered our group. 3 men and another woman.  
It soon became apparent that we were the only ones that would be going back decades younger than what we are now. Everyone else would be either the same age or there about.

Testing started early the next morning just like we had been told. They started in the order as we had arrived so Paige and then Casey and then me. We were held in different rooms while it all went down, and it was sending my anxiety into over drive. There was blood work along with other typical tests you would receive at the doctors office. It didn’t take long for my panic and anxiety disorder to be addressed. I was put through a series of situations to trigger both and after they were convinced that I could calm myself in a timely manner, I was cleared.  
Next came the instructions. We were all seated in a small classroom and the younger guy who we found out was called Justin, went over everything with us.  
“Let me make this very clear. Once you are there, you are there. You cannot be brought back until the task is finished. Failure or not. If you put yourselves in harms way then we cannot save you. We will not be able to see where you are or what you are doing. The only way we will know if you have succeeded is if the date of the event passes and nothing happens. You have all been informed that we cannot control what happens to you if you do succeed. If everyone understands than you will need to sign the papers as we go over them”  
As the papers were being handed out, the Dahmer guy dipped out. I guess it all got too real for him.  
I flipped through the papers and scribbled my name on the lines as Justin kept talking.  
“I think we are supposed to wait” Casey whispered over to me.  
“No need. I’m not backing out” I whispered back.

The next few days were pretty much just there to give everyone a chance to back out. We lost another one of the guys on Thursday morning but everyone else seemed to be all in.  
“Aren’t you nervous at all?” Casey asked me Thursday afternoon.  
“No. I’m so excited that I can’t stand it actually. Are you nervous?”  
“A little” she admitted.  
“Why would you be nervous? Do you plan on being mean to them? I’m pretty sure that’s the only way they would target you, and then you could just not go to school that day”  
“I guess you are right”

I was laid back on my bunk that evening with my headphones in, picturing how I wanted to go about this, when I felt my ear bud being pulled out of my ear. I jerked my head to the side to see the main lady standing beside me.  
“I asked if you are ready dear? We were going to wait until tomorrow to start but it has been brought to our attention that if you go now, then you 2 can start the school year off tomorrow with the rest of the seniors” she said with weird smile on her face that made me think she was already treating me like a 17 year old.  
I sat up and saw Casey standing beside her, looking pale and terrified. I jumped down from the bunk and tucked my phone safely in my bag that was to be left on my bunk.  
“Let’s do it”

We were led further down the hallway to a room that we hadn’t been in before. We were seated next to each other at a table that looked like it came out of someones dining room. It was a dark cedar and had 2 chairs on each long side and then one at each end. There was a little white paper cup in each of our spots as well as a larger one. On closer inspection, I could see that there was a small red pill in each little cup and the others had what looked like orange juice.  
“You will put the pill on your tongue and immediately drink the orange juice. We found that it is the best thing to take away the horrible taste of the pill. After that, I want you to lay your heads down on the table and close your eyes. It typically takes anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes to take effect. You will hear me speaking to you the whole time, but I do not want you to respond. Keep your eyes closed. You will know when you should open them. Good luck. Please use your time wisely. There will be no second chances” she said before she motioned for us to take the pills. I tossed mine in and tasted it before I could get the other cup to my lips. It was like I bit into the gunk at the bottom of a fast food dumpster. I gagged trying to get it down and then had a hard time keeping it down. Casey reacted just about the same. We passed each other a look before we laid our heads down. I closed my eyes and after what had to of been at least an hour of listening to the lady talk, I decided it wasn’t working for me and I felt the panic start.  
“Wake up” I heard a lady say and it sounded like she was a million miles away.  
“Y/n wake up! You are going to be late!”  
I opened my eyes and lifted my head and came face to face with my reflection in a vanity mirror.  
I brought my hands to my cheeks and studied myself. My hair was much shorter and lighter, the crows feet beside my eyes that always drove me crazy were gone. I watched my own mouth fall open as I wiggled my jaw around in the mirror.  
“Holy fuck” I said to myself.  
“Y/n!” I heard from outside of the door followed by loud banging.  
“I’m up!” I forced out and finally pulled my eyes away from the mirror.  
I stood up and looked down at myself and started to laugh at my pajama choice. Bugs bunny pajama pants and a tweety bird shirt.  
“Oh god. Please don’t tell me I’m a fucking nerd”  
I rushed to the other side of the room and pulled open the closet and let out a sigh of relief. The only colors in sight were black and white. Luckily the time travel gods granted me the ability to carry over my style with me.  
I grabbed the first pair of black jeans that I saw and slid them on.  
“Holy shit. I missed this waist line”  
I pulled the tweety bird shirt off and tossed it on the ground before I started going through the shirts.  
“Oh man” I said with excitement as I grabbed the cradle of filth shirt and pulled it over my head. I looked in the bottom of the closet and was equally impressed with my shoe choices. I darted for the Doc Martens that I would have killed to actually own at 17 years old.  
“Y/n the girls are outside!” I heard the voice once again on the other side of the door.  
I pulled it open to see my mother.  
“How the hell?”  
“Language Y/n!” she said with a disgusted look on her face before I threw my arms around her neck. She relaxed in my arms and hugged me back before she let out a laugh.  
“What’s this for?”  
“I missed you so much” I said as I clung to her.  
“Honey I just saw you last night. Get going before your ride leaves you!”  
She didn’t just see me last night though. My mom has been dead since 2011.

I ran my fingers under my eyes to wipe the tears away before I went down the stairs and to the front door.  
“Don’t forget your back pack! Good grief, what would you do without me”  
Her words stabbed me like a knife right through my chest.  
“Thanks mom” I said before I hugged her again and ran out the door.  
“Hurry up!” Someone called out from the passenger window of the car. As I got closer, I recognized the girl instantly and my feet froze to the sidewalk.  
“What the hell are you doing? We will leave you” she said, putting emphasis on the word will.  
Brandi fucking Tinklenberg.  
Why in the fuck am I riding to school with this chick?  
I opened the back door of the car to get in and made eye contact with Casey in the back seat. She reached over and squeezed my hand, and I raised my eyebrow and motioned my head towards the front seat.  
“I don’t have a clue” she mouthed as she let my hand go.  
I didn’t recognize the driver, but apparently her name is Tara.  
“Now don’t freak out when you see the school” Brandi said over the seat.  
“Why would we do that?” I asked, defensively and in a slight panic.  
“Uhh, because it’s huge and you don’t know where to go? Where have you been while Casey has been freaking out about it all summer?” she replied.  
“Ah, right”  
“We will help you find your classes” she continued.

When we made the turn into the parking lot and the school came into full view, I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I was not prepared. No amount of research or even will could have prepared me for the emotions I was going to feel when I saw the school. I don’t have a clue how I will walk through those doors and I may actually stop breathing when I see the boys for the first time.  
Casey looks just as fuck up about it as I am, which doesn’t make me feel better at all.  
We got out of the car and followed the 2 girls up a hill and to the cafeteria doors.  
“It’s about to get loud” Tara said over her shoulder as the door opened and we walked inside. She wasn’t wrong. There were kids everywhere. Most had smiles on their faces and were hugging their friends who they hadn’t seen all summer, while others looked a lot like us. Fucking terrified and out of place.  
We followed the girls to the office first to get our schedules and lockers. I was happy to see that I had at least one class with Casey. Upon closer inspection we both realized that it was theatre. We both knew what that meant as well. I didn’t give a shit about comparing schedules with the other two girls at all. I was confused as to why I had befriended them in this weird little time thing in the first place. It was obvious that we had nothing in common as I stood there in the commons with my cradle of filth shirt on and Casey dressed in all black.  
“This is the table we sit at for lunch as well so just come here when the bell rings” Brandi said and as I looked around and saw the vending machines behind us, I knew this table. I had seen it all those 7,000 times I had watched youtube. I had seen Eric approach her at this very table and watched his reaction when she completely disregarded him. I wanted to punch her in the throat as she threw her head back and laughed at something that someone had said.  
I felt someone kick me under the table and I shot my eyes to Casey. She knew exactly what I was thinking.

My first class went by without many problems. Of course I had gotten plenty of judgey looks but I had expected that. I honestly had expected worse to be honest.  
By the second class. It got my worse.  
All eyes were on me as I was forced to go to the front of the class and introduce myself.  
“Freak” a guy fake coughed out as I was talking.  
I chose to ignore it and continued on. Considering in my time, I could be his mother.  
As I made my way back to my seat, a different guy stuck his leg out and tried to trip me. I caught myself and as I came back up, I leaned into his face and gave him my best go to hell look.  
“Is she putting a spell on you dude?” another guy laughed out, causing the whole class to follow in laughing.

I was ill as hell by the time the third class rolled around. I walked into the room and decided that my best bet was to take a seat at the back of the class. If this teacher wanted me to get up, I would just refuse. End of story.  
As more kids started piling in, I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I felt my heart halt in my chest, and I had to really work to take a breath. I couldn’t let my eyes go to him and look at him head on so I kept my head down until I knew he had sat down towards the front of the class. Then I finally looked directly at him. He was turned sideways in his chair and was talking to the guy next to him which I recognized as Nathan Dykeman. As I had my eyes on Nate, my whole body felt the instant that Eric’s eyes found me. I felt the chills form on my arms and my leg started to bounce under my seat as I looked back down at my desk. I saw movement and knew that if it was him approaching me that I was about to fuck this all up before it ever got going good.  
“You are new right? I’m Nathan but everyone calls me Nate”  
I let my eyes go up to where he had sat down at the desk in front of me. He looked so different from all of the pictures I had seen of him and it made me wonder if both of the boys would up close like this as well.  
“Uh, yeah. I am new. I’m Y/n” I said, and I could hear the shake in my voice.  
“Mind if I sit here?” he asked.  
“That’s cool” I let him know. Right before the teacher closed the door, Eric finally turned away and focused on class. In a way I was a little disappointed that he hadn’t been the one to approach me. But once again, I am not prepared it seems.

The bell rang for lunch and I couldn’t wait to get to Casey. I needed her familiarity to calm myself.  
I darted out of the room and down the stairs and saw her already at the table with the other girls.  
I moved a chair as close to her as I could get and couldn’t wait to tell her that I had a class with Eric, but before I could say anything she started.  
“Dylan was in my last class” she whispered.  
“Oh shit. How did that go?”  
“He doesn’t really look how I thought he would. And he was laughing and smiling the whole time. It was actually super weird”  
“Eric was in my last class as well. I couldn’t make myself focus in on him though. Nate talked to me and sat right in front of me” I let her know.  
We quieted our conversation and agreed to talk about it every afternoon at one of our houses so that no one grew suspicious of us.  
I let my eyes wander over the huge room and I caught a glimpse of a table towards the back on the other side of the room. I recognized Mike’s laugh before I recognized his face. As people moved around, I could catch glimpses of Eric. I couldn’t pull my eyes away and Casey noticed.  
“What are you staring at?”  
I pointed in the direction quickly and her eyes followed mine over to him.  
“Oh god Y/n” she almost moaned out, causing me to snort.  
“My bad” she said as she sat up straighter in her chair.  
“Is he fucking looking at us?” she whispered out in almost a panicked voice as I saw it to and pulled my eyes away.  
“Let’s pretend that didn’t happen” I laughed out nervously.  
“Doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen” she replied and when I looked again, he was walking our way.  
“Fuck Casey. What the fuck”  
“Calm down bitch”  
“Oh god. Not this again” Tara said loud enough for us to hear, as Brandi turned her back to where Eric was approaching.  
“He doesn’t take hints does he?” Tara said with a laugh. That’s when it hit me. He is going to Brandi. Not us. And I knew what was about to happen because I had watched the same exact scene play out 7,000 times.  
He came over to the table and sat down in the chair next to Brandi and it was obvious that he wanted to talk to her, but she had started a conversation with another guy that was walking by.  
“Fuck this” I said under my breath, causing Casey to look my way.  
“Hey you were in my last class right? Eric was it?” I asked, projecting my voice as well as I could while I was shaking.  
“Yep” is all he replied as he gave me a questioning look.  
Gonna have to do better than that.  
“Your friend was nice. I was hoping that you would come and sit with me when he did” I continued, gotta be brave.  
He raised his eyebrow at me but didn’t verbally respond.  
“Okay then” I said out loud. Fully defeated at this point.  
He pushed his chair away from the table and disappeared up the stairs.  
“That went well” Casey said with a laugh that only added to my irritation.

The bell rang and we went our separate ways. I had stopped paying attention to what subject I was heading to, only the room number. It wasn’t like I needed to make good grades or anything anyways. I was here for one thing and that one thing seemed like it was going to be a lot harder than what I had originally thought. That is until I walked into the next class and saw both the boys sitting at one of the long tables in the back of the room. I glanced around and saw the tv at the front and some video equipment and I could have kicked myself for not paying closer attention to the subject I was walking into.  
Video production.  
There was an empty seat at the front with a group of girls that looked pretty nice. But then there was an empty seat with the group of guys at the back as well. I have never prided myself in my decision making skills, so I made the obvious choice and went towards the guys.  
Eric looked up at me with that same raised eyebrow, almost like he couldn’t believe I was putting myself in this position.  
Dylan wasn’t paying a bit of attention until I spoke.  
“Can I sit with you guys?”  
That’s the moment that everything changed.  
Dylan stood up and pulled the chair next to him out and he didn’t sit back down until I was seated.  
“I’m Dylan” he said with a big goofy grin on his face and I could have died right then. I could tell why so many people loved him immediately. He was a genuinely nice guy. I could feel it coming off of him. And I knew that this was my way in.  
“I’m Y/n. Thanks for letting me sit with you guys” I said as I looked past him to Eric who was now looking a tad confused.  
“No problem”  
We spent the next few minutes exchanging pleasantries before the teacher finally started.  
We were put into groups for the year and I was happy as hell that I was put with the two of them. I knew all about what they were going to be doing for the class and I could not wait to be apart of it. Maybe I could show them how to take out the parts where you hear them say “Ok go” or “Stop” in the videos. I made myself laugh at the thought and caught Eric watching me. That wiped the smile off of my face. How is this dude so damn intimidating to me. I had to figure out a way to get in his good graces.

By the end of class, I had warmed up to Dylan and it was catching me off guard how welcome he made me feel. Eric, not so much.  
The bell rang and as I packed my stuff for the last class of the day, I tried to sort out in my head to let Dylan know that we were headed to the auditorium together without it seeming extra creepy. Luckily he saved me.  
“Where ya headed next?”  
“Uhh let’s see” I replied as I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my schedule, making a show of pretending to not know.  
“Theatre” I said as I brought my eyes back up to meet his.  
“Well I’ll be damned. Me to. Come on and I’ll show you the quick way” Dylan said and I followed him out of the room without giving Eric another glance.  
“I’m sorry you had to come to a school that sucks so bad. You seem nice. I give it 2 weeks before that changes” Dylan said as he took long strides and I had to double step to keep up with him.  
“This is the way to the auditorium?” I asked, completely going over anything he had just said.  
“Nope” he replied as he looked down and shot me a smile.  
I continued to follow him until he suddenly stopped at a spot that had two benches and an ashtray. He pulled out his pack of Camels and offered me one.  
“You a smoker Y/n?”  
I used to be. Actually I used to smoke a pack a day. I thought about it for a second and how long it took me to kick the habit before I reached and grabbed one. Fuck it. When in the past right?  
“Thanks” I replied as he lit his and then held his zippo to the end of mine.  
“Oh god I’ve missed this” I said as I exhaled the smoke. Dylan looked at me strangely for a second before he went right on talking like he had known me for years. It had actually started to feel that way by the time we finally made it to the auditorium.  
We were both laughing when we entered the huge room which caused all eyes to turn our way.  
“Nice of you to join us Dylan” the teacher said from the front of the room. As we moved further down the aisle I could tell that she was smiling instead of angry.  
“Sorry Mrs. C. This one got lost and I had to find her and then show her where to go” he replied which caused me to laugh at the ridiculous lie.  
I made my way into one of the rows of seats and sat down beside Casey who gave me a worried look. I passed a smile back to her as Dylan sat in the chair opposite me and I leaned into him.  
“If I was lost then how did you know where to find me?”  
His eyes went huge before his face went to one of confusion and then he let out a loud laugh.  
“This is why I run sound. I can’t act for shit”  
“I see that” I replied as I tried to hide my own laughter.  
“What the fuck” Casey whispered out.  
“Ah my bad. Dylan this is Casey. Casey this is Dylan” I gave the introductions.  
They said hello to each other as Mrs. C went over what the first play would be, and everybody started separating off.  
“I’m not getting on that stage” I said to no one in particular. Just stating facts.  
“Oh I am! I was made for this” Casey said before she made her way to a group at the front.  
“Then it looks like you are stuck with me” I said over to Dylan who I immediately noticed was watching Casey walked away.  
“Uh oh” I let out. Meaning for only myself to hear it.  
“What?” Dylan asked, finally giving me his attention.  
“Nothing. Was just saying that I’m probably gonna be shacked up in the sound booth with you”  
“Let’s do this then” he said, back to the boy that I had just spent the last hour with.

He showed me so much shit at once that all I could do was just nod my head at him like I understood. Hopefully I wouldn’t need any of this knowledge later in this trip. Surely he will just do it all.  
“Your friend seems pretty cool” Dylan said after a few minutes of silence. I responded before I gave myself time to think.  
“So does yours. Well, when he isn’t looking at me like I’m crazy that is”  
“Who are you talking about?” he asked. Now fully invested in what I’ve got going on. With his chair now facing mine and our knees almost touching, I would love to take another nasty red pill and jump back 5 minutes in time. But once again, fuck it.  
“Eric. I tried to talk to him but I’m pretty sure he hates me, and I’ve only said a handful of words to him”  
“That’s just Eric. He takes some getting used to. If he knew you thought he was cool then you wouldn’t be able to get rid of him though” he said with a laugh.  
“Maybe don’t tell him I said that then?”  
“Only if you don’t tell that I said what I said” he replied as he held his hand out for us to shake on it. I stuck my hand out and when he wrapped his around mine, mine disappeared. I had never paid attention to how big his hands are. Were? Well he is breathing at the moment so I’m going with are.  
The class ended which meant the first day was in the books. The three of us walked outside and back over to the smokers pit which really wasn’t even a pit at all now that I think about it.  
I could hear some other’s approaching us from behind but I didn’t let myself look. I knew who it was by the voice but maybe if I didn’t look right at him then I could figure out how to have a conversation with him without shitting myself.  
“Who the hell starts the school year on a Thursday anyways? Could have gave us the 2 extra days and then started the shit up on Monday” Eric was saying as the guys walked up.  
“It has to start sometime dude. You just like to bitch”  
“Screw you” Eric replied as he leaned up against the brick wall beside Dylan.  
“Hey look Y/n. Eric is here” Dylan said and I felt my face go hot. Two can play that game guy.  
“Oh wow. There’s Casey to”  
“Ha. Touche. The gang is all here” Dylan replied looking just as embarrassed as I know I do.  
“What the hell are you talking about” Eric asked, not really looking very invested in getting an answer though.  
“Noneya. Just talking to my new best friend here” Dylan replied as he threw his long arm over my shoulder, causing me to flinch.  
“You replacing me with a chick V?” Eric asked, now invested as his eyes went over me and then back to Dylan.  
“Better watch out. I think I may get along with her better than I get along with you” Dylan replied before dropping his arm and throwing his cigarette butt on the ground.  
“I gotsta go. Family dinner tonight” he continued as he made his hand into a gun and acted like he was shooting himself. Casey sucked in a loud breath and I matched with my own.  
Nobody seemed to notice except the two of us.  
“How are we getting home?” Casey asked, causing everyone to look at us like we were crazy.  
“Shit. Where the hell is Brandi?” I asked as I jerked my head towards the parking lot and saw the 2 girls leaned against the car we had arrived in.  
“We better go to. See ya tomorrow” I said as I grabbed Casey’s arm and pulled her with me to the parking lot.

The ride home was full of the 2 girls up front gossiping about other people at the school and I made the decision that I would not be riding with them again even if it meant I had to ride the bus.


	3. Chapter 3

We got out of the car together and went inside of my house without a word to the other 2 girls. I’m sure they got the hint. I know I’m a bitch. I own it.  
We kicked off our shoes at the bottom of the stairs and Casey looked around.  
“Why did you get the cool house?”  
Before I could answer, my mom came around the corner and Casey nearly hit the floor.  
“How was your first day girl’s?”  
I instinctively threw my arms back around her neck.  
“Honey I don’t know what I did to deserve all of these hugs but I will take them anytime you want to give them” my mom said as she hugged me back.  
Casey stood still in complete shock. I had to grab onto her arm to pull her up the stairs and to my room.  
“I didn’t expect your mom to be here”  
“Imagine my shock this morning. I’m going to hug her every chance I get” I let her know as I threw myself down onto my bed.  
“So you and Dylan seem to be hitting it off”  
“Luckily one of them seemed to have taken to me. I really thought it would be easier with Eric. I just can’t seem to get my shit together when I’m around him. If I could just get shit faced before school, then I would probably be okay” I let her know.  
“We should have a party”  
“How the hell would we have a party Casey. Your parents have always been goody goody and my mom would be all up under us if we did it here”  
“Good point. It wouldn’t hurt to ask though” she said as she gave me a pleading look.  
“Fine. I’ll prove it. MOM!” I yelled out.  
Seconds later, my door flew open and my mom stood in my doorway looking worried.  
“Can we have a party here this weekend and if you say yes then can you leave us alone while we do it?”  
“I knew you were up to something with all those hugs” she responded.  
“No! I swear I just wanted to hug you. I didn’t even think about a party until I yelled for you”  
“Well, it would do me some good to get out. The girls at work have been trying to get me to go out with them for months. I guess it’s okay as long as you only have a few people. And by a few I mean maybe 10”  
I felt my jaw drop open as Casey clapped her hands together like a seal.  
“What the hell?” I said once my mom left the room.  
“Don’t question it Y/n”  
“I guess we are having a party then. I don’t even know 10 people”  
“We know two though. I’m sure they could invite a few others” she said excitedly.  
“Casey we need to talk about something before this goes any further”  
“Alright”   
“I’m not going to back away from Eric. I love you to fucking death but..” she cut me off by putting her finger over my lips.  
“Stop. It’s fine”  
“Fine? I really did not see you giving in that easily”  
“If I’m being honest, now that I’ve seen them in person I don’t really think that Eric is my type” she said and averted her eyes away from me.  
“What?”  
“Yeah. I was not expecting it either but I think I may like Dylan” she blurted out. I was so caught off guard that I almost choked on my own spit.  
“Casey that is fucking perfect!” I replied as I grabbed her shoulders and shook her.  
“Why is that perfect?”  
“Because he randomly said that you were cool earlier and didn’t want me to tell you!”  
“Cool? That doesn’t mean anything Y/n” she said while rolling her eyes at me.  
“In teenage boy language it does bitch!”

The next morning, I walked to the corner and caught the bus. My mom didn’t question it but promised that she would work on getting me a car soon. Casey road with her dad since he went into work around the same time as we went to school so it worked out for her. I didn’t really mind the bus. It gave me some alone time to clear my head before I arrived at school.  
As I got off of the bus and started towards the school, I felt someone come up beside me. When I looked to my right, I felt my cheeks go hot as Eric looked back at me.   
“You riding the bus huh? That sucks”  
“It’s better than my situation yesterday”  
“I thought you guys were friends” he replied without using names but I knew he was talking about Brandi.  
“Brandi is a bitch Eric”  
A smirk appeared on his face and I had to turn my head away from him.  
“Yo!” came from behind us and when I turned around, I saw Dylan jogging up the hill towards us.  
“If it isn’t my old best friend and my new best friend” he said as he came in between us and draped an arm over each of our shoulders.  
“Cut the shit V”  
“I like my new title” I replied as we all walked into the building together.  
I found Casey standing next to my locker looking as shell shocked as she had the day before.  
“Thank god. I was starting to think you weren’t coming”  
“The bus moves slow Casey” I let her know as I grabbed the things I would need for my first class.  
By the time 3rd hour came around, I had been called so many names that I was starting to forget that I was not actually a 17 year old in my time. The shit was brutal, and I can only imagine that years of this shit would really wear a kid down.  
I took my seat in the back like I had the day before and once again, Nate came and sat in front of me. We made small talk and seconds before the bell rang, Eric came in and to my surprise, he took the seat next to me.  
I glanced over at him, but he never looked my way. Progress is progress no matter how small though right?  
The bell rang for lunch and neither of us had anything new to talk about, so we sat quietly at the table that we had claimed on the other side of the cafeteria from where we had been yesterday.  
“What are you 2 doing?” Dylan said as he appeared out of thin air behind us.  
“Uh eating lunch?” I responded.  
“Well hurry the hell up and come outside with us” he said with a smile, causing us both to throw out trash away and follow him out the side door.  
Once in the smokers pit, I noticed a few more familiar faces that I had yet to come into contact with and I knew that Casey recognized them to.  
I stood beside Dylan with Casey on my other side as everyone talked back and forth and joked around. Eric was leaned against the wall like the day before, but he was a lot quieter.  
“Say something about the party” Casey whispered towards me.  
“Right. So Dylan, my mom said it’s cool if I have some people over tomorrow night. Wanna come hang out? Casey will be there and maybe you could bring some more people”  
He shot me a look that also had a smile attached to it that told me he was catching what I was throwing.  
“What do ya think Reb? Wanna go hang out with these 2 tomorrow night? I know you don’t have shit else to do”  
“She didn’t invite me” Eric replied before he took another hit off his cigarette.  
“I just said that he could bring some more people” I replied, feeling bad about how he took it.  
“That’s not an invite” he said back as he kicked at the dirt under his foot.  
I bawled up my fists before I relaxed them again and turned to face him. I was just about over his passive aggressive bullshit at this point.  
“Eric, would you like to come to my house tomorrow night and hang out. I would love it if you would”  
“Would you?” he asked as he brought his eyes to mine and the smirk came back to his lips.  
“Fucker”  
“I would love to. Even though you just called me a fucker” he said. And then he laughed. He genuinely laughed and it made my chest feel like it was going to burst wide open.  
“Now that that’s settled. Want to come over around 7 or so?” I asked back to Dylan who also had a huge grin on his face.  
“Sounds good to me”  
“I’ll give you my number in video class” I let him know as we all headed back inside.  
And I did as soon as I was sat back with the group.   
I listened in pure agony as they went over ideas about what they wanted to film this semester. I knew that if we couldn’t stop this then those would be the very videos all over youtube in a few years. I also cringed at how cheesy they were going to be.   
“I still want to do the kidnapping thing. It doesn’t have to be that long, but I think it would be pretty cool. Brandi agreed to be my victim” Eric said.  
I felt the vomit come up in my throat as the image flashed behind my eye lids.  
“We’ll see dude” one of the other guys said, earning a loud grunt from Eric.

I was sat in the chair next to Dylan in the sound booth the last hour of the day as we watched all the kids trying out for different parts in the play.  
“You know if I told him what you said then he will be a lot nicer to you”  
“Maybe I don’t feel the same way about him anymore” I said. Complete bullshit of course.  
“Oh yeah right. I see the way you talk to me and then I see the way you talk to him. You go full retard mode” he laughed out causing me to slap his arm.  
“That’s not nice Dylan”  
“I’m not actually that nice Y/n”  
“That is not true” I let him know.  
“I’m only nice to people I like”  
“Then I’m glad that you like me. I like you to by the way. So does Casey”  
“What?” he asked as all his movements froze.  
“You heard me. But don’t repeat that” I replied, knowing that I had already broken all the trust that he had in me. Good thing he doesn’t know that.  
“She said that?”  
“That’s all I’m telling you Dylan. Now help me with your friend without telling him that you are helping me with him”  
“Jesus. You don’t ask for much do you?” he replied with a laugh.

When the bell rang for the end of the day, I knew I had roughly 10 minutes before the bus was going to leave me. I grabbed my backpack and took off out the door with Dylan hot on my trail and Casey behind him.  
“Where the hell are you going in such a hurry?” he asked once he stopped at the smokers pit and I kept going.  
“She has to get to the bus before it leaves” Casey said for me as I kept going, sending a wave over my shoulder.  
“Bus? Y/n stop!” Dylan yelled out as he caught up to me.  
“You are not riding the damn bus. I will take you home”  
“You don’t have to do that. I really don’t mind” I let him know.  
“And neither do I. Where is your house?” he asked.  
I started to tell him and was interrupted as Eric stepped forward.  
“That’s more my way. I’ll take you”  
My eyes went to Dylan who was smiling widely like this was all his doing even though we both clearly knew that it wasn’t.  
“Maybe she doesn’t want to ride with you Reb” Dylan let out, not looking away from me. As if he was challenging me to say something.   
“Actually, I would love it if you gave me a ride home” I said to Eric before I stuck my tongue out at Dylan and followed Eric down the hill and to his car.  
As it came in to view, I couldn’t stop the excitement that started somewhere near my chest and went down to my toes.  
“You will have to show me which street it is exactly” he said after we had ridden for a few minutes in silence.  
I wasn’t sure what to make of the way he was treating me in this moment compared to yesterday, so I just nodded at him.  
He reached down and turned the music up and when I recognized the song and started tapping my fingers on my leg.  
“Wait” he said as he reached back up and cut the music down.  
“You know KMFDM?” he asked. We had come to a stop at a red light so he was looking right at the side of my face.   
“Yep” is all I said. What I really wanted to say was that I had started listening to them when I saw the videos of him wearing their shirt something like 16 years ago when the videos first appeared on youtube. But I couldn’t say that now could I? So yep is all I could give.  
“That’s cool” he replied as the light turned green and his eyes went back to the road.  
We pulled up in front of my house not long after and he looked back at me with a weird smile on his face.  
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, knowing it may have come across as rude but it was freaking me the hell out.  
“I live like 3 blocks from here” he replied as he kept smiling at me weirdly.  
“How did I not know that?” I asked out loud as I looked out my window, trying to spot anything familiar.  
“How could you know that?” he responded with a question like I had been asking him.  
“Right. I couldn’t have known that” I replied as I grabbed my backpack from the floorboard and opened the door.  
“I guess I will see you tomorrow night” he said as I stood up from the seat.  
“I’ll be here. Thanks for the ride Eric” I said before I closed the door and walked into my house.

I went straight to the computer room and logged on to AOL. The sounds that the computer made as it was signing on brought back so many memories that I went into a daze of sorts. I hoped like hell that someone Casey was already on my friends list because I didn’t even have a phone number for her. Luckily she was the first name I came to.

Y/n: if this doesn’t take you back a few decades then I don’t know what will  
ItsKC: A nasty ass red pill apparently  
Y/n: So Eric Harris just drove me home  
ItsKC: How did that go? Are you crying hysterically?  
Y/n: I am not. It was actually okay  
ItsKC: Dylan gave me his AOL name. I’ve been talking to him for the past 15 minutes. This is crazy  
Y/n: holy shit

Another message came through just as I was typing out the one to Casey.

wurmhole: was he mean to you?  
Y/n: surprisingly no  
wurmhole: did you tell him that you think he is cool?  
Y/n: no Dylan I did not  
wurmhole: fuck. You may want to hurry up and do that  
Y/n: you better not  
wurmhole: hypothetically speaking… would you hate me if I did?  
Y/n: ………………….  
wurmhole: I’m nice though remember. You can’t hate me Y/n

Once again another message came through and as soon as I saw the name I knew that it was Eric. I had read his chat logs so many times that I could recite them at any given time.

RebDomine: hey  
I decided to play dumb and see where that got me.  
Y/n: hey? Who is this?  
RebDomine: That cool guy that dropped you off at your house earlier  
Fucking Dylan.   
Y/n: Ha. I see what ya did there.  
RebDomine: (:

I spent the next few hours going back and forth between all 3 of them. It was made clear that I would never tell Dylan anything like that again. It was made even more clear that him and Casey were really into each other. And then there was Eric who once message was acting completely normal and the next, he seemed to be suspicious of me. Tomorrow night was going to be weird for sure.

Casey was dropped off at 5 that evening and my mom left shortly after with the promise that she would stay gone until at least midnight. We were banned from what she referred to as the hot tub room and as me and Casey passed a look between us, I realized that I should probably become more familiar with this house if I was going to be here for 7 more months.  
As soon as my mom was out the door, we took off in search of the room. It was at the back of the house with an outside entrance that lead into the back yard. There was a huge hot tub that held at least 8 people in one corner of the room. On the other side there was a couch and a love seat with 2 chairs that faced one of those CD players that hold a least a dozen CDs. As I looked around I noticed that there was a speaker hanging from the ceiling in every corner.  
“Jesus, how did I now know that this was here”  
“I don’t know. I do know that there is no way in hell that we are staying out of here” Casey replied before we made our way back to my room to get ready. Once we were both dressed, I grabbed the huge CD case that I had found earlier in the day and we headed to the back of the house.  
My mom had left money to order pizza and she had stocked us with drinks and candy. Casey was ordering the pizza when the doorbell rang, and I sprang to action.  
When I opened the door, I was greeted by not only Dylan and Eric, but also Nate, Brooks, Mike, and Robyn. I hadn’t yet been introduced to the latter 2 so after that was taken care of, I led them to the back of the house.  
I couldn’t help but wonder why Robyn was here. I would feel weird if I was a chick going to another chicks house that I didn’t even know. But as everyone settled in, it became obvious that she really was just one of the guys. Her relationship with Dylan was nothing like I had expected. They were simply friends. She was actually a pretty funny chick to.  
As the night went on, I would catch my gaze landing on Eric for a little too long and I would have to force myself to look away. He caught me a few times and pulled his own eyes away from mine which made me feel even more awkward about it.  
By 10pm, Robyn said she needed to be home for curfew and Brooks offered to take her. Which left the 5 of us.  
Dylan wasn’t hiding the fact the he had been taking swigs out of a flask in his pocket so when he pulled it out again, I grabbed it out of his hand and turned it up myself.  
“Sure Y/n, have some” he said as he watched me down the liquid that I instantly recognized as Vodka. Of course, what else would it be.  
“Relax, I can fill it back up from my moms stash. She doesn’t care if I drink as long as I’m at home” I told him and I really hoped it still applied honestly. She had been like that in my teen years, but this is a different time period than that.  
I started to feel the effects of the alcohol way sooner than normal and I started to fan my face.  
“Ya good?” Dylan asked as I handed the flask back to him.  
“Am I a light weight?” I said out loud, causing laughter from everyone still there.  
“Looks that way” Eric said as he shot me a smile.  
“Like you have any room to talk” Dylan replied to him with a laugh.  
“Got me there” Eric said back.  
The group went back to talking as I made myself comfortable on the couch with Dylan in between me and Casey.  
I stayed silent as the alcohol wreaked havoc on my brain functions and started making me sleepy.  
“Hey Eric” I said, speaking for the first time in a long time.  
“Yeah?” he asked back with every bit of his attention on me. I didn’t originally know why I had said his name to begin with but as he looked at me expecting an answer, I knew what I was going to say.  
“I think you are pretty cool”  
“So I heard” he replied with a laugh.  
“I think you are pretty cool to”


	4. Chapter 4

We got everybody out of the forbidden room and into the living room only minutes before my mom walked through the door.  
She paid little attention to us as she swung her purse onto the hanger beside the door and kicked her heels off. When she spun around and faced us, the look of confusion was apparent.  
“When you said a party I didn’t know that you meant Casey and a group of guys” she said as her hands went to her hips and she gave me a very, very small smile.  
“Mom this is Dylan, Nate, and Eric. There were others here, but they left hours ago”   
Everyone said hello before she headed down the hall and to her bedroom.  
“We should probably head out to. Mom will be pissed if she waited up for me and I come in with 2 other dudes that she didn’t know were staying” Dylan said with a laugh as he stood up from one of the chairs and stretched before he grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the couch and wrapped me in a very tight bear hug, cutting off all air supply.  
“Let me go you idiot” I laughed out.  
He then gave Casey a hug and headed to the door, followed by Nate. Eric had stood up but hadn’t yet moved out of his spot and it became apparent to me that he wasn’t real sure how he was supposed to say goodbye. I walked over to him and held my hand out. He looked down at it before his eyes went to mine and a smile spread on his face. He shook my hand and let out a small laugh before he followed the other 2 out the door.  
“That couldn’t have been anymore awkward” Casey laughed out once the door was closed behind them.  
“Of course it could have. I could have threw my arms around him or really caught him off guard with a kiss” I replied as I made a kissing face, causing her to die out in laughter.  
“I think he probably would have died right in your living room”  
“Probably so. I do think that I’m gonna have to get my shit together and be a little more aggressive with him though. That may be the only way I will get anywhere with him”  
“I cannot wait to watch that happen” Casey replied.

Now in my room, Casey had laid down on my bed and fell almost immediately asleep. I couldn’t shut my brain up long enough for all that. I laid staring up at the ceiling until her snoring ran me out of the room and I ended up down the hall in the computer room.  
As soon as I logged on, I saw Dylan’s name on the list.

Y/n: you just hang out online while you have friends over? Rude.  
wurmhole: I would take offense to that if you weren’t doing the same thing  
Y/n: Casey is asleep  
wurmhole: so is everyone here  
Y/n: ahh that’s good actually because I need advice  
wurmhole: what kind of advice  
Y/n: how do you think he would react if I just went for it. If instead of telling him that I think he is cool I straight up tell him that I like him. Do you think he would kill over if I hugged him?  
I got no response for several minutes and I was starting to think that he had fell asleep.  
wurmhole: to just clarify here.. we are talking about eric right  
Y/n: well yeah.. who else would I be talking about  
wurmhole: hehe I have no idea how he would act. That’s my honest answer  
Y/n: thanks for the help friend

I signed off and ended up back in my room. I finally dozed off after 3am.

By Monday morning I had gotten used to my new routine. Wake up, start getting ready, mom beats on the door and screams that I’m going to miss the bus, I rush out the door and get there just as the bus is getting ready to pull away. This morning was going no different. Except for the fact that I had gotten up a little earlier than normal. I spent a little extra time on my hair, and I put on a little makeup as well. Once I was satisfied with how I looked, I pulled my boots on just as I heard the knocking on my bedroom door again.  
“I’m coming out now mom!”  
The door opened and she stood there looking at me with a weird smile on her face.  
“Actually I came to tell you that there is a boy at the door asking if he can drive you to school”  
“Dylan?” I asked as I headed passed her and to the top of the stairs.  
“I didn’t catch his name”  
I came down the stairs and grabbed my backpack before opening the door, expecting to see Dylan’s car out front. Instead, I saw the little gray Honda Prelude. I knew I had the biggest smile on my face and there was no point in trying to hide it. He was already looking at me from the drivers seat.  
“Want a ride?” he called out from the opened passenger side window.  
I turned and hugged my mom before I made my way over to his car and climbed in.  
“I figured since I live so close that I could take you and you wouldn’t have to ride the bus”  
“I have to say that I really like the new nice Eric” I replied as I closed the door and he took my backpack from me and threw it over into the back seat with his.  
I saw him lick his lips nervously like he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I decided to leave it alone and change the subject.  
“Thanks for the ride. It will be cool to get to school early enough to hang out before class starts. When I ride the bus I don’t get there until right before the bell rings”  
“I don’t mind at all. I road the bus for a while and I know how bad it sucks” he replied before he reached down and turned the music up a little.  
The song changed just as we hit the highway and I recognized it as Son of a gun by KMFDM. As the song went on, Eric started to drive faster. He was going in and out of lanes like he wasn’t even paying attention to any of the other cars. I let my hand go up and grip the hand on the roof of the car beside the door and he glanced over at me.  
“Shit, my bad. This song makes me want to drive fast” he said with a laugh as he cut the music down a little and calmed his driving.  
“That’s actually pretty funny because I have said that exact same thing about this exact same song for years”  
His eyes darted to mine and I knew I had fucked up.  
“Not like literal years. I was exaggerating. I just meant that I’ve said it before” I fumbled with my words, trying to save myself.  
“That is funny” he replied as he kept the weird look on his face.

We arrived at the school and went our separate ways. I went to my locker and then down to the commons to find Casey sitting at a table with Dylan and a few other people.  
“How did you get here so early today?” she asked once I sat down across from her.  
“Eric drove me” I let her know. Her eyebrows went up and Dylan looked as if he was trying to look anywhere except at me.  
“Well that’s new” she continued but all I could focus on was the way Dylan was acting. Something was definitely up and I needed to know what.  
Before I could ask any questions, the bell rang signaling time for 1st hour and we all parted ways.

The day was going how it typically did but I didn’t let it bother me. Not today. I felt like I was moving in the right direction and I didn’t want anything to take my mind off of my mission.  
When I got to 3rd hour, I walked into the room, fully prepared to sit in my usual spot. Only Eric had stolen my usual spot.  
“Hey what happened to the nice Eric?”  
“Who said I was being mean. I was just saving your seat for you” he replied with a big ass smile on his face that was really throwing me off although I couldn’t help but smile back.  
“Then get up and let me have my seat”  
“You at least have to say please and thank you” he replied without missing a beat.  
Is he flirting with me right now?   
“Please?”  
He grabbed his backpack out of the floor and moved to the seat next to mine.  
“And thank you” I said once I had sat down. He passed me another smile before the teacher started doing her thing.

I spent the whole hour in a daze like state as I went over the mornings turn of events. I was very happy that he had come around but Dylan had also told me that he would once he knew that I liked him. But I didn’t want him to only like me because I liked him. A few days ago he acted like I either didn’t exist or that I was in his way.  
“The bells about to ring” he said, pulling me out of my thoughts as he waved his hand in front of my face.  
I packed my stuff up and just as I had finished, the bell did ring. Eric left the room before me with Nate like he did every day, but when I walked out of the door, he was standing there.  
“What are you doing?” I asked as I walked past him and he came up beside me, matching my pace.  
“We are going to the same place. Might as well go there together”   
“Why are you being weird Eric?” I asked, hoping not to offend but also wanting to know his real intentions here.  
“I’ve always been weird Y/n”  
“You know what I mean” I said as I looked towards him.  
“I thought that we had established that we think each other is cool. If you have changed your mind then say so”  
“Shut up” I replied as I playfully shoved him and he went into full drama mode.  
“Oh god Y/n why would you abuse me like that? Stop hitting me” he said as he held his hand over his other arm where I had made contact.  
I immediately burst into laughter and had to stop walking to collect myself.  
“And then you laugh at my obvious pain. You are mean Y/n” he continued.  
“And you really are hilarious” I said once I had composed myself.  
“Am I?”  
I shoved him again and we both went back into a laughing fit as we made our way to the commons.  
We walked in together and went over to the table where everyone usually sat, to find most everyone there. Including Dylan sitting next to Casey. I nodded my head at her before I turned to Dylan and he did the same weird ass thing as this morning. When he finally managed to look at me, I gave him a questioning look and he tried his hardest to stop a smile from forming on his face.  
“What is your deal?” I finally asked out loud.  
He glanced over at Eric for a split second before his attention came back to me and he just shrugged his shoulders.  
“That’s okay. You are trapped in the sound booth with me for a hour later and you will tell me what’s wrong with you”  
“That sounds like a threat dude” Eric chimed in with that big ass smile on his face.

By the time we made it to video production, I was equally as weirded out about how Dylan was acting as I was with how Eric was acting. And neither of them were currently giving me the time of day as the group argued over what the first video would be.  
I tried to give my input about the car wax commercial, but they weren’t having it. It would be happening in the next few weeks.  
The conversation died down and I noticed that Dylan was looking at me. Before I could ask questions he spoke.  
“Hey Eric, I think it would be cool to try that kidnapping shit if Brandi is still down for it”  
“Yeah I still want to do it but I haven’t really talked to her” Eric replied as Dylan passed me another smile.  
I wanted to respond and make it known that I would volunteer as tribute but someone else started talking before I could and then class was over.

I stole my cigarette from Dylan like I normally did before theatre and I had wanted to immediately start asking him questions but there were too many people around. Including Eric who seemed to be in on whatever was going on.  
Once we were inside the sound booth, all bets were off.  
“Okay Dylan, start talking”  
And he did.  
“I had a lot of fun the other night. We should all get together again”  
“That’s not what I’m referring to and you know it” I said as I stood in front of his chair with my hands on my hips.  
He stopped to think for a second before he started talking again.  
“I did have a lot of fun though. So much fun that I was so tired when I got home that I passed straight the hell out” he continued as he watched my face closely.  
“Dylan stop it. Why are you guys acting so damn weird?” I asked, showing my frustration.  
“Y/n listen to what I’m saying. I was so tired that I passed straight out when I got home” he repeated. And then it finally clicked.  
“No you didn’t. I talked to you over a hour after you guys left”  
“Did you really though? Are you completely sure that it was me you were talking to?” he asked while trying his hardest not to laugh.  
“Oh. Oh shit”  
“Ding ding ding” he said as he finally let the laugh out.  
“Dylan! This is not funny at all to me right now. I think I’m having a heart attack” I said and fell down into the chair next to his.  
“17 year olds don’t have heart attacks. You are fine”  
“What? No. Nevermind. Why did you not tell me sooner because now I have looked like the biggest idiot!”  
“Because he doesn’t want you to know that it was him. But now he knows. So have fun with that” he continued laughing.  
“Do you even know what I said to him?”  
“Just that you like him and that you were gonna throw him against the wall and take what you wanted”  
“I did not say that!” I almost screamed out.  
“More or less” he replied while he started messing with the knobs on the sound board.  
“So what did he say about it all?” I asked after I had a few seconds to calm myself.  
“He was excited as fuck. I hope you are prepared for what you have just brought on yourself”  
“He is the one that needs to be prepared. I am about to fuck his whole little world up. He doesn’t even know what a dog is”  
“A dog? I’m pretty sure he does. He has one”  
I knew how weird it sounded as soon as I said it. I also knew that was one of those things that I should have said in my head considering that journal entry probably hasn’t even been written at this point yet.   
“I’m just saying. You may want to warn your little friend that it’s very possible that I will throw him against the wall and take what I want”  
“Well damn. I will for sure pass that on” he said before he went back to what he was doing and I sat next to him trying to come up with the first thing I would do to set this in action.

At lunch on Wednesday, Eric disappeared, and I spent the whole time trying to nonchalantly search the commons for him with my eyes.  
“He went to try to see if Brandi is still on bored with that whole kidnapping thing” Dylan let me know when he saw me looking around.  
“Yeah about that”  
“I figured this was coming and I’m al for whatever you are thinking” he replied while leaning closer to me from across the table.  
I filled him in on what I was thinking and by the time the bell rang, I think he may have been more excited about it all then I was. We walked together to video production and went over everything again.  
The groups were turned loose, and we ended up out in the hallway. Brandi slung her hair over her shoulder as she approached and it made me want to gag.  
I listened as Eric told her where to stand and what to do and I saw Dylan smiling at me with excitement all over his face. He only knew what I had told him. He didn’t have a clue what I planned on saying to the poor kid. I was about to turn his world upside down without a doubt. And if everything went as planned, it would be captured right on the camera. I couldn’t wait to watch it back later and see the look on his face.  
The first take didn’t go as planned at all. They set back up for the second take and it actually didn’t look to bad. It would probably be the one that everyone could watch years from now if they wanted to. Eric was visibly awkward and he kept smiling so it was not realistic at all. But it still wasn’t half bad.  
“Y/n come here and watch it with me so we can see if we need to do it again” Dylan said, and I made my way over to stand beside him and watch the scene.  
“Eh, it’s okay I guess. I feel like she could look a little more scared though honestly”  
“You think you can do better when someone is wrapping a belt around your neck?” Brandi asked as she rolled her eyes at me.  
Here we go.  
“Actually yeah I think I probably could” I responded, and felt the excitement starting in my chest. I will not chicken out. I will stick to the plan and do and say everything I had been rehearsing in my head.  
“Fine. Go ahead then” she replied with a smug look on her face.  
She stepped to the other side of Dylan and I went to take her place next to the wall in the hallway.  
Eric looked a little more nervous than he was earlier and that heightened my excitement even more.  
Dylan told us to go and I could hear Eric approaching behind me, but I didn’t react. He brought the belt around and barely pulled me back and into him.  
“Maybe you need to do it harder” I said as I turned my head closer to his face before he could let me go.  
He let go of the belt with one hand and took a step back. I could see how red his cheeks had turned and I almost felt a little bad. Almost.  
“Want to go again?” Dylan asked, knowing my answer already.  
I nodded my head and got back into place.  
This time when I heard him approaching, I could feel my heart pounding away in my chest. This would either push him very far away from me or reel him in. I was willing to take the chance.  
The belt came around my neck and he jerked me back with force this time. I had originally intended to make him keep doing it over and over and tell him to go harder every time. I had not intended on what actually happened. As he jerked me back into his chest, I let out a moan that sounded like something straight out of a porn as I turned my head towards his and my lips barely brushed against his cheek.  
“God damn” Dylan sound out loudly and when my eyes made their way to the other side of the hall I could see that everyone involved had stopped what they were doing and they all looked equally in shock.  
Eric seemed to be frozen. He hadn’t loosened the belt at all, and he was making no effort to let go of me.  
I let out a nervous laugh which seemed to snap him out of it, and he dropped his arms down and took a step back from me. When I turned to look at him, I could see it all over his face that everything had just changed. But I had no sign of which way it had went. There was no smile. His eyes looked a little darker than normal and he was staring directly into mine. He cheeks were still slightly red but not like they had been the first time.  
“I think that was the one folks” Dylan said as he started putting the camera away and everyone went back into the classroom except for me and Eric. If he wanted a stare off, then who was I to refuse him. Several very awkward seconds went by before he finally broke. The smirk appeared on his mouth and his whole body seemed to loosen up as he walked right past me and opened the classroom door. He held it open and motioned with his hand for me to go inside, so I did. We didn’t say another word to each other the rest of the class and I had a feeling that I would be catching the bus this afternoon.

Dylan told me to go ahead to the smokers pit and he handed me his cigarettes and lighter as he took off up the stairs and down the hall. I went outside and lit one up as I listened to the conversations going on around me. I expected to see Eric there, but he never showed. Dylan came out the door and grabbed the cigarette away from me and hot boxed the rest of it before he led the way to the auditorium. Camera bag on his arm.  
Once we were safely inside the sound booth, he pulled out the camera and rewound it to show me.   
The look on Eric’s face was everything that I had hoped it would be to begin with.  
“Damnit I think I fucked it all up. He hasn’t said a word to me and he didn’t even come out to smoke between classes” I said as I watched Dylan rewind the scene and play it over and over again.  
“Are you fucking kidding me? Look at his face!” he said while zooming in on nothing but Eric as I moaned out into his ear.  
“He is probably somewhere jacking off” he laughed out and he just kept rewinding it and playing it over and over again.  
“I don’t know man. He seemed a little pissed”  
“That was not pissed. That was him ruining his pants” he continued laughing.

I was not convinced at all.   
As me, Dylan, and Casey left the auditorium, Dylan tried his best to convince me.  
“Even if he is mad and left you then I will take you home. We will figure the rest out later. But he is not pissed Y/n”  
I didn’t respond as I walked beside him down the hill and when the parking lot came into view, there was Eric. Leaned up against the drivers side of his car with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  
“I told you” Dylan said as him and Casey stopped walking and I all but floated over to Eric.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time I made it to Eric’s car. He was already inside with it cranked and music blaring. I saw him glance over at me for a split second as I was buckling my seat belt, but other than that, if he gave me another look then I never noticed. The ride to my house would have been a lot more awkward if it hadn’t been for the music, so luckily he kept it on. I tried to not make it obvious that I was studying his facial expressions as he drove and if he noticed then he didn’t let on.  
When we pulled onto my street, I unbuckled and reached into the back to get my backpack so that as soon as the car was stopped I could flee.  
He stopped and put the car in park and then to my surprise he cut the whole car off before he unbuckled his own seat belt and turned sideways in his seat to face me.  
I couldn’t at all tell what he was thinking but he seemed to be thinking about whatever it was pretty hard as he watched me. I sat perfectly still with my backpack in my lap and my hand on the handle.   
“Are you mad at me Eric?” I finally let myself ask.  
Before I had finished the question, a smirk appeared on his face.  
“Why would you think I’m mad at you?”  
“You have acted weird since… earlier” I replied, breaking eye contact with him.  
“I’m not mad at you Y/n. At all. I got embarrassed. Can we not talk about it though?”  
I looked back at him and his cheeks had gone slightly red just like earlier in the day and I thought about what Dylan had said in the sound booth and he may have been right.  
“As long as I didn’t do anything to make you mad then yes. We can stop talking about it”  
A weird look appeared on his face seconds before I heard the knock behind my head and I jumped and spun my head around to come face to face with my mom.  
“Jesus mom. You scared the shit out of me” I said once I had rolled the window down.  
“Language Y/n. You know you two can come inside the house. No need to sit in the car. I made cookies!” she replied with a smile before she walked back up the sidewalk.  
“Uhh.. you want to come in?” I asked, nervously.  
He looked at his watch on his wrist and then back and me.  
“I can come in a for little while if you want me to”  
We walked inside together, and I had hung my backpack up, Eric followed me into the kitchen.  
“I’ll put some cookies on a plate if you want to take them to your room” my mom let me know.  
I gave Eric a quick glance and he looked extremely uncomfortable.  
“Mom this is Eric. He was here Saturday night”  
“I remember the face but didn’t remember the name. It’s nice to meet you” she said, giving him a smile only a mother could as she handed me a plate of cookies.  
“It’s nice to meet you to mam” he replied with his own big smile.   
“Oh you make me sound so old. Save the mams for the actual old ladies. You can call me Ruth” my mom responded as she put her hand on his shoulder. His smile got even bigger as he nodded his head at her.  
“I have some paperwork to do so I will be in the computer room if you need me honey” she let me know as she wiped her hands on a towel and headed up the stairs.  
“Guess we are going to my room” I said, more to myself then to Eric.  
I led the way up the stairs and down the hall to my room which was only doors down from the computer room. Eric followed me inside and then stopped right beside the door, looking a little uncomfortable again.  
“You can close that. She won’t care” I let him know. He gave me a nod as he pulled the door closed and then joined me on the side of my bed.  
I offered him a cookie and he shook his head no, so I sat the plate on my bed side table.  
As the silent seconds ticked by, I realized that this is exactly how I had expected our car ride to go this afternoon. I let out a laugh as I shook my head.  
“Yeah this is weird right?” he asked as he laughed to.  
“How do we go about making it not weird?”  
“Show me something. Something to let me know more about you” he said after he thought about it for a second. I decided to play along.  
“But I still won’t know much about you”  
“Then next time you can come to my house and my mom can make you cookies and tell us to go to my room” he said with a straight face that had me doubling over in laughter again.  
“So show me something” he repeated.  
I didn’t move because what the hell was I supposed to show him? I don’t even know what all is in this room or if any of it is actually shit that I would have owned as a 17 year old in my time. What if I grab something and can’t make up some sort of story quick enough. He kept looking at me so I finally got up and went to the bookshelf in the corner of my room. The first thing I saw was my CD case so I grabbed it and laid it beside him on the bed.  
He instantly unzipped it and started flipping through the pages. I watched as he would slowly nod his head as he saw a CD that he either owned or wanted to own.  
“This actually tells me a lot” he said once he got to the back of the case. I had gone back to the bookshelf just in case he asked for something else and when he spoke, I looked back at him and he was holding up a Hanson CD that I had actually owned at one point in my life. I felt the color go out of my face as he busted out in laughter.  
“Do not judge me” I said as I took 3 long steps across the room and tried to grab the CD out of his hand.  
“Oh I’m judging so hard right now” he replied as he jerked his hand back, making me fight to get it.  
“Mmmbop used to be my jam so kiss my ass” I said as I pushed him onto his back on the bed and finally grabbed the CD away.  
“Don’t feel bad Y/n. Everyone has a guilty pleasure”  
“Oh yeah. What’s yours?”  
“Not something you will find in my CD case” he replied with a laugh and my stomach dropped. Is he talking about what I think he’s talking about.  
“You have to show me now that you know mine” I pried.  
“Maybe one day” he said back as he stood up and went over to my opened closet door, and to my surprise, he started looking through my shirts.  
“Make yourself comfortable Eric” I joked as I stepped in front of him and tried to close the closet door.  
“Nahh I have to make sure there aren’t any boy band shirts in here. If so then it’s a deal breaker for me” he replied while moving around me and going right back to pushing through my shirts.  
I was stuck on his words. Deal breaker. So maybe we are actually getting somewhere here.  
“Okay you are safe. Seems you shop at Hot Topic way too much though” he said as he turned back to face me.  
“it’s a trendy little place”  
Fuck. Fuck me. Why in the fuck did I just say that.  
Luckily, Eric just nodded his head and went back to sit on the edge of my bed. He reached over and took a cookie off the plate and took a bite out of it.  
I felt relieved that he had gotten more comfortable in the last few minutes.  
“So when do I get to go to your house and dig through all of your shit?” I asked, standing in front of him.  
“Let me think about it”  
“That’s not fair. You are gonna go hide all the good shit and make me look like the only weirdo”  
“I am pretty good at hiding shit” he responded.  
Little fucker.  
“Luckily, I don’t really give a shit if you find something in my room. Which you won’t” he continued.  
“I bet I could find all kinds of shit actually” I said, thinking back on everything I already knew.  
That made him stop and think for a second.  
“On that note, maybe I will do a sweep of the place before I invite you over”  
“Maybe I will just randomly show up then” I said as I put my hands on my hips and looked down at him.  
“Ha! You don’t know where I live. Did you forget that part?”  
Oh man. This is getting harder by the minute. All I would have to do is get to Reed street and I would know the house at first glance.  
“Got me there” I responded through clenched teeth.  
He opened his mouth like he was going to say something back before he quickly closed it and stood up. Making us closer then, we had ever been. This was the moment that I really looked at him for the first time in days. It was the first time that I had let myself look for longer than a few seconds. Eric was not as small as he had always been described. Sure, next to Dylan he looked small but anyone would. He had to look down at me with the way we were standing and when he slightly turned his head to the side to break the eye contact, his perfect jawline came into clear view. He had a tiny bit of scruff on his chin from not shaving but it couldn’t have been more than a day or two. Also being this close, I could smell him. I couldn’t name the cologne because it didn’t smell like anything I had ever smelled before, but I loved it. It was all him. And it was doing things to me. He looked back down at me before he cleared his throat and took a step to the side. Breaking the closeness we had.  
“I should probably get home. Mom doesn’t like it if I miss dinner without letting her know I’m not gonna be there”  
“Yeah” is the only word I could form. I forced myself to swallow for the first time in minutes and as I did, I knew for sure I would have drooled soon if I hadn’t.  
I led him down the stairs and to the front door and as he walked out he looked back over his shoulder at me with a smile.  
“I’ll pick you up in the morning”  
I nodded my head at him and quickly closed the door so that he wouldn’t see me melt into the floor.  
Once the door was closed I turned and put my back to it. My hand came up to my chest and I let out a louder than I intended it to be sigh.  
“Uh oh”  
My eyes went to the stairs and I saw my mom standing at the top smiling at me.  
“No truer words have ever been spoken” I replied.

Thursday came and went and by Friday afternoon, I had turned into a genuine giddy teenager.  
I hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to Casey and fill her in on everything but I knew that she was spending the night with me that night so we would have time for all that.  
On the ride to my house, we were stopped at a red light when Eric reached up and turned the music down.  
“What are you doing later?”  
“Casey is coming over after dinner” I let him know.  
“That’s cool” he replied before he turned the music back up and continued the drive.  
I felt for sure that he was wanting to ask me to do something with him and I felt bad about wishing that Casey wasn’t coming over so he would have asked me.  
We pulled up at my house and he left the car running as I got my back and opened the door.  
“Any chance you will be online later?”  
“I’m sure I could be” I let him know as I gave him a smile and then closed the door. At least we could do that.

Casey was sat on my bed as I paced back and forth in front of her and filled her in on everything. When I finally got it all out, she sat staring at me with a blank look on her face.  
“Why are you looking at me that way?”  
“Because Y/n. I feel like you are completely losing sight of what we are supposed to be doing here. You are acting like a 17 year old girl that fell for a random guy or something”  
“We technically we are 17 year old girls right now” I said as I sat down beside her.  
“That may be the case for now, but Eric is not some random 17 year old boy. We are here for a reason. We need to start finding out when they are doing things and all that”  
“Yes and in order to do that we have to earn their trust and get close to them”  
“I just think that you are setting yourself up for heart break here Y/n”  
“Casey I know what I’m doing. They both seem completely normal. Hell most of the time they even seem pretty happy”  
“Just like everyone said right?” she replied, giving me a look that let me know that she thought I was full of shit.  
“Well fuck. I guess you are right. It’s just so hard to think of him as the kid who did all this terrible shit when we are hanging out and he is acting completely normal. It’s even harder to see Dylan in that way because we have gotten so close. There just aren’t any signs. And I know that people said there weren’t but I feel like we would have seen something”  
“Eric has gave no clues at all?” she asked.  
I thought back on conversations and stuff and admitted to myself that with everything I know, there had in fact been a few things that stuck out to me.  
“I know that you have always had this thing where you thought if you could have just been there for them then things may have been different. So prove that theory. Be there for both of them. Dig a little deeper every time and see if you can get anything from them. Make one of them slip up. I know now that maybe me coming here wasn’t the best thing because I don’t even know where to start with it all. Dylan is cute and I feel like we can be friends but I’m not sure I can let myself become as involved as you can”

I let her words sink in and I knew that she was right. I had to figure out how to keep doing what I’m doing without letting myself be torn apart if things continue how they want them to. That was going to be very fucking hard for me though.

We ate a bunch of junk food for dinner, deciding that we might as well enjoy these bodies while we have them. After we had cleaned up Casey suggested that we watch a movie.  
“I need to go to the computer room for a second. I told Eric that I would talk to him there tonight and I don’t want to leave him hanging. We both know how he will take it”  
“I’m coming to then” she let me know as we made our way down the hall and into the computer room.

I signed on and he wasn’t there. It was a little after 9pm and he had told me that he usually didn’t get on until later, so I decided to send him a message that he would see once he got on in case I didn’t make it back.  
Y/n: Hey we are about to watch a movie and I don’t know if I will get back on here tonight. You can call me if you want to though (:

I left my number and then signed off.  
We were in the middle of some god awful 80’s B movie that I had found on the shelf beside the TV when the phone rang. I didn’t rush to it because I knew my mom was still awake. I could hear her music coming from the room in the back of the house.  
It had rang 4 times before I made it to the kitchen to answer it.  
“Hello”  
“Is this my new best friend?” I knew it was Dylan the second I heard the voice.  
“It’s me” I replied with a laugh.  
“What the hell are you guys doing sitting in the house on a Friday night?”  
“Right now we are watching some stupid ass movie” I replied as Casey left the couch and came to stand beside me.  
“Why don’t you come hang out with us? It’s just me and Eric”  
He sounded completely trashed.  
“Where are you?”  
“His house”   
I felt my heart jump at the thought of being there and I looked over at Casey.  
“Hold on a sec Dylan”  
I put the phone against my leg and put on my best pleading face.  
“Can we pllleeeeaaaassssee go to Eric’s? Dylan is there”  
“Is your mom gonna be okay with that?”  
“Shit. I forgot I had to ask permission to do things now. Hold this” I said as I handed her the phone and ran to the back of the house. I busted through the door, scaring the shit out of my mom and making her jump and spill half the wine out of her glass.  
“Jesus Christ Y/n!”  
“I’m so sorry mom! I just needed to ask you real quick if it’s okay if we go to Eric’s for a while. He lives like 3 blocks away”  
“It’s late honey. Are his parents okay with that?”  
“Yes.” I lied. I didn’t have a clue if his parents were okay with it and I honestly didn’t really care. They wouldn’t have asked us over if they didn’t have a plan.  
“I guess I don’t really care. I would rather you not be walking in the middle of the night though so either someone needs to bring you home or you stay put”  
I wasn’t at all shocked that she had said that. There had been plenty of times in my teenage years that she had picked me up at a random persons house in the early morning hours. I can drink, I can go where ever and stay for however long, but she better not hear me cussing. Makes perfect sense.  
“Thank you mom!” I said as I grabbed her in a hug and ran back to the kitchen.  
Casey had the phone to her ear and was in the middle of a sentence when I jerked it away from her.  
“Ask Eric if I get to search his room if I come”  
“What?” Dylan asked.  
“Ask him”  
I heard the phone move, and I could hear Eric laughing in the background before Dylan came back.  
“He said he will get to work on hiding all of the good shit before you get here” Dylan replied, still sounding confused.  
“Then tell me how the hell to get there”

20 minutes later we had made it to South Reed street, and I knew that the house would be in view at any minute. My anticipation was at a all time high as we approached the dark house, and I knew that I was about to get to see what I had only dreamed about for a very long time. As we went up the sidewalk, the front door opened, and Eric stepped out.  
“You probably shouldn’t be walking alone in the dark ya know. There could be bad guys out here” he said once we made it to the porch.  
“Maybe the bad guys are inside” I replied as he held the door open and we stepped inside.  
When he shut the door behind us, I had this weird feeling of being trapped. I don’t know where it came from or why but it was there. I felt my ears start to burn and my hands started to tingle and I knew for sure that I was getting ready to have my first panic attack since I had been here. I instinctively put my fingers on the side of my neck, just to feel my heart beat. Something I had always done when I started to feel this way. Casey knew that as a sign that I was about to have a spell and she looked over at me with a worried looked on her face.  
“You good?” Eric asked as he too took notice to my changed demeanor.  
“Is it okay if I go back outside for a second?” I asked while taking a step backwards to the door and without waiting for an answer I slipped back out and sat down on the porch.  
I had hoped that no one would come out while I tried to calm myself down, and for several minutes they didn’t. When the door did open, I closed my eyes and hoped like hell that it was Casey and not Eric. To my surprise it was neither.  
“Hey, Casey told us that you have problems with anxiety and stuff sometimes. I’m pretty sure I do to. Can I do anything to help?” Dylan asked as he sat down beside me.  
“I just have to calm myself down. Maybe just talk to me?”  
“I can do that. This weather is nice huh? It will all go to shit in a few months and we will be freezing to death. Fucking snow every where. That’s why I keep my little friend here in my pocket” he said as he reached in his pocket and pulled out the flask.  
“You drink too much Dylan” I responded with a laugh.  
“Maybe you don’t drink enough Y/n” he said as he handed me the flask and I accepted it. I had started to calm down so why the hell not.  
“You are just gonna bitch at me when I drink it all”  
“Nah, I keep a stash here” he said as I took a drink.  
“Why at Eric’s house and not yours?”  
“Because my mom checks my room all the damn time. Eric’s doesn’t. I keep all kinds of shit here” he let roll out, because he has no clue that I know exactly what he is referring to.  
“Speaking of mom’s. Is his cool with two girls showing up this late at night?”  
“I doubt she would be if she was here. His parents left for the weekend for some thing at his brother’s college. They think he is staying with me. My parents think that we are both staying the weekend with Nate” he said with a big goofy grin on his face.  
“Ah. So you are both liars”  
“Does your mom think that his parents are here?” he asked as he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  
“Well yeah”  
“You see where I’m going with this then. We are all a bunch of fucking liars” he said with a smile as he stood up and then reached his hand down to pull me up.  
“Want to try this again?”  
I nodded my head and then followed him into the house. When we got to the top of the stairs that I knew for sure were going to take us down to Eric’s part of the house, I realized that I still had the flask in my hand. I stopped and chugged as much of the liquor as I could.  
“I didn’t say I have endless amounts Y/n. Take it easy” Dylan said as he looked back at me.  
“God that shit burns like hell going down” I said while the alcohol made my nose tingle.  
“It does the same thing coming up” Dylan replied with a laugh as he grabbed the flask away from me and continued down the stairs.  
I stepped off of the bottom step and paused to look around. It was pretty much how I had always pictured it to be. Casey and Eric were sitting on the couch in the small family room and they both turned to look at us as we came in.  
Eric stood up and walked our way with a concerned look on his face and he stopped a few feet in front of me.  
“You okay? I can drive you back home if you want me to”  
“Hell no. I’m all good” I slurred out at him as I let myself take a big step and land right in front of him. Just like we had been in my room.  
With all fucks out the window apparently, I even leaned in closer to him and breathed him in.  
“Ugh you smell so good”  
“Is she drunk?” Casey asked as she flew off of the couch and came towards us.  
“She is in fact drunk” Dylan said as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.  
Eric didn’t flinch as I looked up at him through my drunken haze.  
“This is about to get very fucking interesting then. Dylan you have no idea what you have just done” Casey said while shaking her head and grabbing my arm to pull me away from Eric.  
“Why are you taking me away from him” I almost whined as she pulled me over to the couch.  
“Shhh” Casey let out while trying her best not to laugh at me. I could tell that she was trying very hard to be mad about what I was most likely going to do and say tonight, but she just couldn’t. Because it would in face be very interesting.  
“Dylan do not give her anymore please”  
“Aw come on. I can’t be the only one drinking. I won’t let her do anything too dumb” Dylan replied as both boys came to join us.  
“You mean like tell Eric that he smells good? Because you didn’t do a very good job of stopping that”  
“He doesn’t look like he cares”  
I let my eyes go over to the chair that Eric had sat down in and he didn’t at all look like he cared. In fact, he looked like he was very much enjoying what was happening right now.  
“Y/n, apologize for saying that Eric smells good” Dylan said while trying to sound as stern as possible.  
“I am not sorry”  
“There you have it” Dylan said through his laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

It didn’t take long for Casey to be right in the middle of a heated mortal Kombat match with both the boys. They were shocked when she kept winning and both had become adamant on defeating her. I for one, did not give a shit about playing video games. I had been sitting and trying to figure out the best time to disappear without being noticed. I wanted in that bedroom and I was going to get there one way or another.  
They eventually all 3 moved to sit on the coffee table to be closer to the TV which left me alone on the couch behind them.  
I waited until Casey beat Dylan again and Eric had the controller in his hand. As soon as the match started, I slowly stood up and moved as quietly as I could toward the hallway. Dylan instantly noticed.  
“Where you going?”  
“Bathroom” I blurted out. Not even 100% sure that there was a bathroom in the direction that I was headed in. I knew his room was though.  
Dylan gave me a nod and I started to move faster and once I heard the game pause I started jogging.  
“Wait what? Come back here” Eric called out. But he was too late. I had already swung the door open and almost had it closed when he started to push on it.  
“Listen here woman! If you are gonna be in my damn room then so the hell am I!” he called through the door as he used all of his body weight to finally get it open.  
“Well when you put it that way” I said as I stepped aside and let him in.  
“What are you to up to?” Dylan said as he appeared in the doorway.  
“We don’t need your help here” Eric started to say but Dylan put his hand over Eric’s mouth and looked behind him before reaching in his pocket and pulled the flask back out and handing it to me. I instantly went to chugging again as Eric caught on to what was happening and started talking again as he watched for Casey.  
I drank all that I could and then handed the flask back to Dylan with a smile before he went back down the hallway to join Casey.  
“Now what were you saying?” I said as I turned my attention back to Eric.  
“Not a thing. Go ahead Y/n. Do your best” he said while walking to his bed to sit down.  
I went straight to the bedside table and opened the top drawer. Nothing struck me as out of the ordinary. Just a bunch of random junk. So I closed it and went to the bottom drawer. I saw Eric move a little out of the corner of my eye and knew that I was onto something.   
“Ah look what I found” I said, looking back at him as I pointed inside the drawer.  
“Find me a teenage boy who doesn’t have those kinds of magazines in their room and then I’ll be embarrassed”  
But he was for sure embarrassed. Maybe he didn’t know just how fast his face could turn red. Or that it even turned red like that at all.  
I closed the drawer and went over to is desk. I sat down in the chair and opened the drawer and knew what I was looking at as soon as my eyes landed on it. Eric came flying off of the bed and grabbed the notebook up before I even touched it.  
“That’s off limits. You let me read your journal and then maybe I’ll let you read mine”  
“I don’t keep a journal so that’s technically not fair” I replied as I looked up at him.  
“Off limits” he said with a serious tone, so I dropped it. I already know what’s in it anyways up until this point at least.  
I walked over to the window and made a show of looking out as if I was just checking out the yard. I was really looking for that mysterious window bunker that I had heard so much about. When I saw it I tried to open the window with no luck.  
“What are you doing now?” Eric laughed out while putting the notebook back inside the drawer and closing it.  
“What’s in there?” I replied, pointing out the window.  
“Ahh, maybe you are better at this than I thought” he said as he nudged me out of the way and unlatched the window. He reached inside and pulled out a half full bottle of tequila and another bottle of green apple pucker that only had a little in it.  
“I’ll take that” I said, and grabbed the almost empty bottle and finished it off before handing it back to him.  
“God, you are basically a girl Dylan”  
“I could see that” I replied while he put the bottles back inside and closed the window.  
“Are you finished now?”  
“Not quite” I let him know, and made my way back to the other side of the bed and to the closet.  
“Go ahead. It’s a mess in there though”   
I opened the doors and quickly realized that he wasn’t lying. I also quickly realized that I was looking at lots of suspicious supplies at the bottom of his closet.  
“What is all that?”  
“Just some stuff I play around with sometimes. I made this” he said as he came around me and reached down into a box at the bottom of the closet and came back up with a pipe bomb in his hand. It felt like my blood stopped flowing as I looked down and he tossed it around in his hand like it was nothing.  
“What is that?”  
“It’s a pipe bomb”  
Once again, like we were talking about something completely normal.  
“Uhh alright” I said, not knowing what else I should say right then.  
He put the small cannister back inside the box as I looked through his shirts like he had done with mine. Nothing stuck out to me as something I could make fun of and I was getting irritated about the fact that I wasn’t finding much of anything. Other than the obvious of course that I couldn’t exactly address right now in my frame of mind.  
I kept pushing through the shirt until I came across the one that was THE one. I couldn’t think of Eric Harris and not see him wearing this shirt.  
I let my fingers trace the red letters on the front before I pulled it off of the hanger and turned around. He was standing right behind me and when he looked down and saw the shirt in my hands he looked back up at me weirdly.  
“You cannot make fun of that if you like them to. That’s not how this works”  
“Oh I’m not making fun of it. I’m stealing this”  
“Like hell you are” he said as he closed the distance between us and I pulled the shirt behind my back and away from him.  
“Oh but I am”  
His eyes got big before a smile broke out on his face and a wrestling match started. He chased me around the room, jumping across the bed and then blocking the door as he reached out to try to grab the shirt from me. I was laughing so hard that my head was starting pound, but I didn’t care a bit. Eric was laughing right along with me and that was all that mattered in this moment.  
“You are crazy if you think I’m letting you get away with my favorite shirt”  
“You are crazy if you think you can stop me” I replied as Istood in front of his bed and held the shirt out in front of me, daring him to try to get it.  
“You are right about one thing” he said without making a move.  
“What’s that?”  
“I am fucking crazy Y/n” he replied as he lunged at me, tackling me down onto the bed and grabbing the shirt away from me.  
I was so shocked that I couldn’t move. I laid flat on my back with Eric hovering over me. One hand beside my head and the other clenching the shirt between us.  
I could tell the moment that it hit him because his body went stiff and his tongue ran across his lips as he looked down at me.  
I wasn’t sure what to do and there wasn’t much that I could do in the position he had me in, so I tried to go right back to where we were before. I reached between us and tried to grab the shirt back. He jerked his arm away in in no more than a second he threw the shirt on the ground and leaned his face towards mine. His lips barely grazed against my own before he ended the contact and looked down at me with bright red cheeks. I know I looked shocked because I felt it as well.   
“Did I just fuck this up?” he asked once he had moved off of me and sat down on the edge of the bed. I stayed right where I was. Unable to move.  
“Not at all” I breathed out as I turned my head to where I could see his back to me.  
“I’m sorry if I did”  
“Eric”  
He turned his head to look at me and I sat up to face him.  
“I said you didn’t”  
He nodded his head at me before he pulled his eyes away. Clearly embarrassed.  
“Hey?” I said, grabbing onto his arm and making him face me again.  
I studied his face as he looked back at me, almost like he was desperate for me to verify one more time that he didn’t do anything wrong.  
“I think it’s adorable how red your cheeks get” I said as I brought my hand up to the side of his face.  
“Oh great” he replied as his cheeks got even more red.  
“I really do” I let him know as I leaned in and pressed my lips to his overly red cheek. When I pulled away, he was smiling like crazy.  
I dropped my hand down and I knew that it was going to be very hard to come back from the last few minutes anytime soon.  
“Want to go see what they are up to?”  
He nodded his head before he quickly stood up and went for the door.  
I seriously considered picking the shirt up from the floor and making a run for it.

Eric drove us back to my house a little after 2am and we crashed. I would fill Casey in on everything the next morning. Well, maybe not everything.  
Once we were awake, and I had told her what I felt comfortable with, she let me know that she thought it was a good thing that he had shown me the bomb. She felt that mean that he had at least some kind of trust in me. She also agreed with how I handled it at the moment. If I had started asking too many questions then it could have made him pull back from me.  
She went home later that afternoon and I had just got out of the shower when the phone rang.  
My mom got to it before me and yelled up the stairs that Eric was on the phone for me. I smiled to myself as I rushed down the stairs. I wasn’t sure if he would reach out for the first contact after last night or if I was going to have to do it.  
“Hey Eric”  
“Hey, I’m at work so I only have a minute but I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to hang out later. I think Dylan really is going to Nate’s this time but I’m not really up for it”  
“But you are up for hanging out with me?” I asked as I twirled the phone cord between my fingers.  
“Well yeah. We could go to the movies or something if you want to”  
He sounds so nervous. It made me feel bad because I know how many times he has put himself out there like that and gotten turned down.  
“What time are you coming to get me?”  
He paused for a second before I heard him clear his throat.  
“I’ll be off around 4. So anytime after that is good with me”  
“Eric, just tell me a time to be ready and I will be ready” I replied with a laugh.  
“Shit I wasn’t expecting you to actually say yes. How about 6?”  
“I will be ready at 6” I let him know before we ended the call.

My mom seemed happy as hell as she watched me get ready. She kept saying how much she liked Eric and how she could tell that I liked him to. I couldn’t help thinking about how deceptive it all is. How deceptive they are. I knew eventually I was going to have to start digging deeper and coming up with ways to break them out of what they have going on. But for now, for tonight, I’m going to enjoy being young and being with Eric. The more I get to know him the more it solidifies it for me that he is not some monster. Dylan either.  
Eric was right on time, just like I knew he would be.   
We joked with each other on the drive to the theatre and everything seemed to be pretty okay between us. Shit went a little sideways when we made it though.  
He wanted to see the new Lethal Weapon. I almost just went along with it but then decided that I wouldn’t be me at all if I did. And I want him to know the real me.  
“But if we saw Armageddon then we will both like it. It has all the cool shit for guys but it also has a love story”  
“Have you already seen it or something?” he asked as the lady behind the counter waited impatiently for us to decide.  
“Of course not. It just came out” I caught myself once again.  
He let out a breath as he looked down at me before he turned back to the lady and got 2 tickets to Armageddon.  
After we had our popcorn and drinks, we found our theatre and seats.  
I could tell that he was trying his hardest to pretend that he wasn’t into the movie at all. Halfway though though, he was glued to the screen. I glanced his way, and his brows were furrows as he watched what was happening on the big screen. He had his cup clenched in the hand closest to me and after a second to think about it, I reached and took it out of his hand and sat it in the cupholder. He looked over at me like I had just interrupted him, but when I replaced the cup with my hand, his expression changed and his eyes went back to the screen. Every few seconds he would either lightly squeezed my hand or run his thumb across mine and every single time he did it, I would smile.  
The movie ended and as we walked out of the building, I wiped the tears from my face as Eric laughed at me.  
“It’s just a movie Y/n. Do you always cry at movies?”  
I have cried every single time I have ever watched that damn movie.  
“If it’s sad then I cry. Jerk”  
“Aw don’t be like that” he said as his arm went around my waist while we walked.   
It wasn’t just the contact that made me excited. It was also the fact that he now felt comfortable enough around me to do it.  
He let me go when we made it to his car. After we were both inside, he turned to me.  
“What now? It’s barely 9”  
“I’m pretty hungry” I let him know, and right on cue my stomach growled.  
He started the car and pulled out without a word.  
A few minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of King Soopers and he cut the car off.  
I looked over at him with a confused look and he shot me smile.  
“I’m gonna cook for you”  
“You cook?” I asked once we were out and walking inside.  
“Nope” he replied, causing me to laugh.  
He led me to the frozen food aisle and stopped in front of the pizza rolls.  
“Pepperoni or combination?”  
“Combination”  
“Good choice” he replied as he grabbed a bag and we went to pay.

Back at his house, I was leaned against the kitchen counter as he placed the pizza rolls on an oven sheet.  
“I will cook for you one day and you will fall in love” I said without thinking. He froze for a second before he continued on and put the tray in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes.  
“You can cook more than pizza rolls?” he asked once he turned around to face me.  
“I can cook like a mofo. Anything you want”  
“Hmm. You may be right then” he said with a smile as he came to stand right in front of me.  
I looked up at him and saw his eyes going back and forth from mine and to my lips. I silently urged him to make the move. I won’t turn away from you. I would never reject you.  
I raised my chin just enough for him to notice and he started to lean in before he stopped himself and started to move away from me.  
I grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back. The look on his face made me hate every girl that had turned him away in the past. If he had ever had any kind of confidence to begin with then they had shattered it.  
“You can kiss me if you want to Eric”  
I had to get it out there. If I could help build his confidence back even a little, then I was going to do it.  
“What if I don’t want to” he said, making me think that I had just imagined every bit of it.  
“Oh”  
“Shut up” he said with a laugh before he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine, just as soft as the first time.  
He pulled away a lot sooner than I had hoped for and it had to be written all over my face because he was looking down at me like he was trying to figure out if he did something wrong.  
He opened his mouth to speak. Instead of letting him, I grabbed onto the back of his head and pulled him back down to me.   
This kiss went on longer than the last, but he was not letting me in.   
I let my tongue go out and over his bottom lip and his arms went around my waist as he finally parted his lips.  
It was apparent that I was going to be the leader here so I lead. It was awkward and a little sloppy at first, but as he settled into it, it became anything but that. I had completely lost myself in the kiss and it seemed like he had to because when the timer on the oven went off, we both jumped away from each other like we had been caught in the act.  
“Fuck” he breathed out as he grabbed a pot holder and pulled the tray out of the oven.  
“I can get some plates if you tell me where they are” I said as I turned towards the cabinets above me.  
“Don’t you read directions? It said to let them cool for 2 minutes” he replied as he spun me back around and brought his lips back to mine.  
2 minutes turned into at least another 10.   
When we finally broke apart, we were both red in the face and neither of us gave a damn about the pizza rolls anymore.

I called Casey as soon as I got home. I knew that she would be rolling her eyes the entire time I told her, but I had to tell someone, and I was pretty sure that Dylan didn’t want to hear about me making out with his friend in the kitchen. Although I was fairly certain that Eric would tell him either way.  
“I don’t care what approach you decide to take anymore. I just don’t want you getting hurt. And I feel like it’s going to happen. Either they go through with it or they don’t. Even if they don’t, it doesn’t mean that you two are going to be together Y/n”  
She ripped my heart out with those words. It wasn’t her fault. I needed a wake up call after all. Doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

It had become a every weekend thing for us. We went out to eat or something similar and Eric would come to my house. I hadn’t been back to his in almost 2 months and it was starting to bother me. Him and my mom had become big buddies, but I had yet to meet either of his parents.  
So it shocked the hell out of me when he finally asked me to come over.  
It was a Friday morning and I was standing in front of Casey’s locker waiting on her to get her stuff. She was telling me about how her and Dylan had finally had the conversation about where they stood, and they mutually agreed that they were better off as friends. She even appeared to be happy recently about where me and Eric stood. But it was obvious that she was over this whole thing and just wanted to go back home. There was nothing here for her.  
Eric came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my stomach before he kissed my cheek, causing me to wiggle my eyebrows at Casey.  
“Can I talk to you minute?”  
“Of course” I replied as he let me go and I turned to face him.  
He was smiling so I knew it couldn’t be anything bad.  
“My mom wanted me to ask you if you want to eat dinner at my house tomorrow night. I know we had planned on going to eat alone but she really want to meet you” he said nervously, as if he really thought that I didn’t want to meet them or something.  
“Of course I want to meet you mom Eric!” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him.  
“I’ll let her know then” he said as he smiled down at me.

We sat next to each other at our table in the commons until the bell rang.  
“See ya in a few hours” he said before kissing my cheek and heading off with Mike.  
I couldn’t wait to get to 3rd hour. Even though all we could do was sit next to each other, it was at least something.  
Eric was sitting on top of my desk talking to me before the bell rang when Nate walked in.  
“Man I feel like I lost a friend. You don’t ever hang out with me anymore now that you have a girlfriend”  
I felt my eyes go big and I anticipated what Eric was about to say.  
“Don’t be jealous Nate. It’s a shitty look for you” he replied with a laugh. Causing my eyes to grow even bigger.  
He looked back at me and his smile faded as his mouth slowly fell open.  
“There, now you can stop obsessing over asking her. You’re welcome” Mate said with a laugh as he took his seat in front of me.  
Eric didn’t say a word as he scooted off of my desk and went to his. We both sat silent and looking shell shocked the rest of the class.

We walked together to lunch and right before we got to the commons, he grabbed my hand, stopping me.  
I looked over at him and his face was full of worry.  
“It’s okay. I promise” I said, giving him a reassuring smile.  
“I was going to ask you. I just didn’t know how”  
“Then ask me Eric”   
He froze as his eyes darted around, looking at anything except for me.  
“Really? I was hoping we were past this” I said with a laugh as the color spread over his cheeks.  
“How about this? Can I be your girlfriend?”  
He let out a sigh of relief before he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and grabbed my hand.

When we sat down at the table, all eyes went to us.  
“What the hell are you so happy about?” Dylan said as he studied his friend.  
“Eric has a girlfriend now” Nate answered for him.  
“well yeah, he has for like some months now” Dylan replied as he passed me a look and then changed the subject onto something else.  
Eric reached under the table and took my hand and I gave his a squeeze as we stayed in our own little worlds. That is until I saw the way that Casey was looking at me. She didn’t look upset, she looked fflat out worried.

Later that day in the sound booth, I opened up a little to Dylan.  
I told him how I was feeling about Eric never letting me meet his parents and stuff.  
“You really are a lot like me Y/n. We get in our own heads too much. Did you ever stop to think that maybe it didn’t have anything to do with you?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well for one, Eric acts completely different around his dad. He feels like he has to walk a super straight line around him and it even freaks me out after all this time. It’s like flipping a switch. Also, Eric is insecure as hell. I think he is just now realizing that you actually do like him”  
I let it all sink in before I responded.  
“That’s all really sad to me”  
“I have always felt that way about it to. Me and my dad are best friends. But I really think that you are good for him. He hasn’t acted the same in a long time. I think you may be helping him in some way”  
His words almost made me burst into tears. And that’s when it hit me, what about Dylan. I need to help Dylan to.


	7. Chapter 7

It was so weird to be standing in Eric’s kitchen listening to his mom talk. It was even weirder to me when he stood beside her and I could see all their similarities. Of course I had seen pictures of her, but I had never seen them side by side. Her genes were for sure dominant.  
And then his dad came in.  
He smiled at me as he shook my hand and I instantly recognized it as Eric’s smile.  
It was crazy to me how he was the perfect mixture of the two of them.  
I also took notice to how Eric changed the second his dad entered the room. He stood up straighter, he kept fidgeting with his shirt to make sure it was tucked in right.  
Once his dad went into the living room I went over to Eric and put my hand on his arm and gave him a smile.  
He instantly relaxed again. I would like to believe that I had something to do with it but I’m almost certain it was because his dad left the room.

He helped his mom set the table and I took the seat next to him.  
When his dad joined us, Eric immediately reached under that table and grabbed my hand.  
I was right all along. I was his support right now.  
As I listened to the conversations going on around me, I couldn’t help but to think that maybe Eric was creating this image of his dad that wasn’t really there. He was constantly smiling and making jokes and he seemed like a pretty laid back guy. And his mom was so sweet that it broke my heart to think about what she might be going through soon. I could see the love for her son all over her face.

After we helped his mom clean up, we went down to the family room in the basement.  
I sat down on the couch as Eric turned to TV on and joined me.  
“I am not gonna sit here and watch soccer Eric” I laughed out.  
“It’s just background noise” he replied with a smile as he came at me.  
“What if your mom comes down here?” I said as I put my hand on his chest trying to hold him back.  
“She won’t. Even if she did then we would hear her coming”   
I moved my hand and once the kiss started, it quickly became heated.  
All we had done up until this point was kiss and I was perfectly content with that. It seemed like he had other plans though.  
Before I knew it had happened, I was on my back with him over me. His mouth moved from my lips, down to my neck and I broke out in goosebumps all over my body.  
“Is this okay?” he paused to ask.  
I nodded my head and he continued.  
When he brought his lips back to mine, he lowered himself down on me even more and I could feel him pressed against me.  
He his head back to look at me for reassurance again, but this time I couldn’t give him that.  
I shook my head no as I moved out from under him and sat up.  
“I’m sorry”  
“No, don’t be sorry. I just don’t think I’m ready for that”  
What a stupid fucking thing to say. Ready for that? In my time we would already be naked and going at it.  
Then another thought hit me.  
Am I a virgin? Is that even possible?  
Everything that was soaring through my head had brought on a panic attack that I didn’t even acknowledge until it was too late.  
My fingers went to my neck and I could hear myself breathing heavily.  
“Oh shit, Are you okay? Fuck I’m sorry Y/n” Eric said as he sat on the edge of the couch and watched me with fear all over his face.  
“I’ll be fine” I let him know as I put my head down on my knees and calmed my breathing.  
Perfect timing. Now he is gonna think that he did something wrong again.

Once I had calmed myself enough to function, I started trying to calm him.  
“It just randomly happens. It’s not something that you did I promise. If you hadn’t stopped when I needed you to stop then it would be a whole different thing right now but I promise that this isn’t because of you”  
He didn’t look entirely convinced but he nodded his head at me either way.  
I reached over and laid my hand on top of his.  
“We will get there. I promise”  
“I don’t want you to think that I’m rushing you” he said as he flipped his hand over and held onto mine.  
“Not at all”

As soon as my eyes opened the next morning, I called Casey.  
“Please come over. I need to talk to you. Only you can help me with this”  
“I’ll be there ASAP” she let me know.

An hour later I was pacing my room once again as Casey sat on my bed looking at me like I had lost my mind completely this time.  
“Don’t get me wrong here. I want to do it. If I didn’t want to do it then I wouldn’t be freaking the hell out right now. But to be someones first is a big fucking thing Casey. Not to mention the fact that I don’t even know if I have technically done it or not. I mean Of course I have done it, but has this version of me? What happens if the question comes up and I tell him that I haven’t and then to time comes and surprise?”  
“First of all, calm the hell down before you pass out. Second of all, you know that I am a million percent against this. But hey, it’s your life. Lastly, just fucking feel and see”  
I know I was looking at her like she was the crazy one now.  
“I honestly never considered that”  
I ran out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom where I spent a good 5 minutes trying to remember what it would even feel like if I was. I didn’t want to have a full on session with myself in the bathroom while Casey sat on my bed waiting on me. So I did a quick little feel and went back to my room.  
“What’s the verdict?”  
“I don’t have a clue dude. I don’t even remember what it would have felt like to begin with” I let her know as I started to pace again.  
“So worse case scenario is her asks and you tell him that you haven’t. but what are the odds that he is going to ask that. I mean come on”  
“That’s true. If he doesn’t ask then I won’t be lying I guess” I agreed with her and then started to calm down.  
“Are you sure you want to do that though? Obviously I have heard you talk about him like that for years but this is reality right now. Can you go that route and keep your feelings in check when everything is over?”  
I knew my answer and she did to. There was no need in answering out loud.

Robyn was throwing the Halloween party this year and I was pumped as hell about it. I could not picture what it was going to be like to be at a 90’s teenage party.   
A group of girls, including Casey and myself, went to the mall to find costumes the Wednesday afternoon before the party. As everyone tried on different costumes, I sat on a bench inside of the store trying to decide which way I wanted to go with it. Casey had found a cheerleading costume and she had decided to cover herself in blood to gore it up. Most of the other girls were going to be wearing as little as they possibly could. There was a Playboy bunny, a sexy pirate, if you could make it sexy then these girls had picked it. I left empty handed.  
“Are you not going to dress up Y/n?” Robyn asked as we all walked out of the mall together.  
“Oh I am. But I’m going to let it be surprise” I let her know before we all parted ways and Casey’s dad picked us up.

I knew that Eric was at work, so I was safe to call his house and get his mom on the phone. I found the piece of paper with his number written on it and dialed her up before I lost my nerve. I told her what I needed and once she got finished laughing, she told me to come on over.  
It felt weird standing on his front porch and knocking, knowing that he wasn’t there. I also knew that it was going to be weird as hell going into his room alone. Luckily his mom had already laid out what I had asked for which saved me from the issue.  
“He is going to have a fit when he can’t find these for the next 2 days. I have to put that shirt in the back of his closet in hopes that he will pick something else for once” she said with a laugh as she handed me the bag that she had put the items in.  
“Thank you so much for helping me with this! Don’t let him give you too much crap if he goes looking for them”  
“I can play dumb very well” she replied with a laugh. The words rubbed me the wrong way but I tried to play it off.  
I walked back to my house and as soon as I was in my room I pulled the stuff out of the bag and laid them on my bed next to the one pair of almost baggy black pants I had found in my closet. This was going to be hysterical.

Eric seemed a little ticked off that I wouldn’t ride to the party with him on Friday, but after I promised that I would ride home with him, he chilled out about it.  
The party was supposed to start at 7 and my mom was going to drop me off at 8. I wanted to make sure that Eric was there when I got there.  
At 7, I went up to my room and put on the black pants with the black combat boots I had found in the closet. I pulled the KMFDM shirt over my head and tied it in the back with a hair tie. Nobody can pull off that tucked in look. Not even you Eric.   
I pulled my hair into a ponytail and put on that KMFDM hat and pulled my hair through the back. I grabbed my sunglasses off of my vanity and put them on before checking my reflection.  
“Fuck yes” I laughed out as I looked at myself.  
“I’m coming as you fucker”

I went down the stairs and my mom was already there waiting for me.  
“What in the world are you supposed to be?”  
“Eric” I said as I walked past her and out the door.  
“ah, I see it now” she said with a laugh before locking the door and following behind me to the car.

When we pulled up, there were cars everywhere.  
“If the cops come you better just run like hell” my mom said before kissing me cheek.  
I got out and started up the sidewalk.  
The first person I saw was Dylan. He was on the front porch smoking and he choked on the smoke when he realized who I was.  
“Do not go in there yet! I’ve got to see this!” he laughed out and then quickly finished his cigarette before he opened the door and went in before me.  
I followed behind him, knowing that he was leading me straight to Eric.  
We walked into the kitchen and I saw Eric talking to Nate with his back turned to us. Everyone else had already seen me and were either laughing or whispering.  
“Hey man, Eric is here” Dylan said, while trying to control his voice.  
“No shit dumbass” Eric replied just as Nate saw me and doubled over in laughter.  
Eric spun around and when he saw me he looked like he was going to stroke out.  
“That’s where the fuck my shit went!” he laughed out before he reached over and pulled the hat off of my head and put it on his.  
“No way! Do not fuck up my costume” I replied as I grabbed it back.  
“You are not keeping that shirt fyi” he said once he had pulled me into his arms.  
“Watch me”  
“Don’t even try it”  
“You will have to take it off of me then”  
I felt his whole body stiffen as he held onto me.  
“Tease” he finally let out.  
“I’m not teasing you”  
He pulled away so that he could see my face before he kissed my cheek and spun me around. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and we stayed that way while everyone went into a conversation.

By midnight, everyone was starting to clear out.  
“You about ready?” Eric asked as he squeezed my hand.  
“Whenever you are” I lied. I didn’t want to go home yet if it meant I had to leave him.  
We said our goodbyes and he held my hand while he led me to his car.  
“Do you have to go home right now?” he asked once we were in our spots.  
“As long as I’m not walking around in the middle of the night then mom doesn’t care apparently. Plus, she knows I’m with you”  
“You want to call her and let her know as least?”  
“She has work in the morning. I’m sure she had a glass of wine with her sleeping pill. She will be out until her alarm goes off” I let him know.  
“That’s good to know” he said as he cranked the car and pulled away.  
We had been driving for a good 15 minutes before I decided to ask questions.  
“Where are we going?”  
“Where do you want to go?”  
“So you are just driving in hopes that I will tell you where to go?” I asked with a laugh.  
“I was actually headed towards your house”  
“I said I don’t have to be home right now though” I almost whined out.  
“Nobody said you had to go in. There’s not really anywhere else for us to go this late”  
I thought it over for a second before I nodded my head to agree with him. I guess sitting in the car in front of my house with him is better than not sitting with him at all.

We made it to my house shortly and he cut the car off. We both unbuckled and got comfortable, but it started getting cold almost instantly.  
“Turn the heat back on”  
“If I keep cranking the car then your neighbors might get pissed” he replied while looking into the back seat. He pulled the long black coat up and laid it over me. I looked down at it and instinctively shoved it away.  
“I thought you were cold?”  
I had no idea what to say to save myself on this one so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.  
“Let’s go up to my room. She won’t hear us”  
His eyes went wide as he looked back at me and then he quickly started nodding his head.

I opened the front door slowly and knew that I had been right about her being asleep because I could hear her noise machine going and all the lights were off.  
I grabbed Eric’s hand and closed the door as quietly as possible before we tip toed up the stairs and to my room.  
Once we were inside, I closed the door and locked it.  
“I did not see my night ending like this” he whispered as I kicked my boots off and went to my bed.  
I reached my arms out to him, signaling him to come to me.  
He immediately obeyed, losing his own boots as he came to me.  
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down with me as I laid back on the bed. He hovered above me with one hand on each side of my head as he looked down at me.  
“Just to clarify, what exactly are we doing” he said as the color slowly crept up his cheeks.  
“I thought you wanted your shirt back” I replied.  
His lips were on mine before I had gotten the sentence all the way out.   
When we had took it as far as we typically did, he pulled back.  
“I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want me to do here”  
“I will tell you if I don’t want you to do something. I promise” I reassured him once again.  
He sat up between my knees and let his hands go to the bottom of the shirt. He slowly pushed it up until my belly button was showing and then he ran his hand over my bare skin, causing me to break out in goose bumps and my stomach to jump.  
He gave me a nervous look and I smiled up at him.  
“It’s okay. Just a new feeling” I let him know.  
He pushed the shirt up higher with both hands until it wouldn’t go up any further, and then he lowered his head and started placing soft kisses on my stomach. I tried my best not to squirm but he was being so light and soft that it tickled.  
I let out a laugh and he looked up at me with that same look.  
“You have got to loosen up Eric” I let him know before I pushed myself up and pulled the shirt over my head. Leaving me in only the black pants and my bra.  
I could tell that he was internally flipping out but he was trying to conceal it as well.  
He leaned back down to me and as he kissed me, he let his hands start to explore the top half of my body.  
I had become completely lost to the feelings of his hands on me. So much so that it took me a second to realize that he had let his lower body come down to meet mine and I could feel him pressing into me.   
I didn’t let myself over think it though. Instead I lifted my hips up slightly to push myself back into him.  
He pulled back enough to look down at me before he rested his forehead against mine and made his movements more obvious than they had been. I felt myself getting completely worked up and there was no way I could stop it at this point.  
I decided to let him keep all of the control. I didn’t want to overdo it with him anymore than he thought he would with me. So the dry humping continued for a long time and I was not complaining a bit. In fact, I had forgotten what it was like to experience this level of lust. Back in my time it was like men had forgotten what foreplay even was. Here I was laying under a teenage boy who was getting me so close to the edge and he was still fully clothed.  
My thoughts were interrupted when I felt his hands go down to the button on my pants. For a split second, I almost pushed him away. I decided against it. Who the fuck am I kidding.  
He unbuttoned my pants and pushed his hand inside without looking down at me like he had been. That excited me almost as much as what was about to happen.   
He rubbed me softly over my panties for several minutes before he applied more pressure and my hips moved up towards his hand. They had a mind of their own now it seems.  
He had his face buried in my neck and I could feel him smile into me as he continued on.  
When he started to move his hand away, I let out a whine without realizing that he was going for it.  
My whine was quickly replaced by a moan as he touched me without barriers for the first time. He got more confident with every second that passed, and it didn’t take long for me to turn into a panting mess as he pushed me closer and closer.  
When he dipped down lower and slowly pushed his finger inside of me, I tensed. This was the moment of truth.   
He started to move and I knew right away that somehow the time travel gods really had given me everything.   
He curled his finger inside of me and then pulled it out to rub me. He began repeating the same thing over and over and I lost it. I gripped onto his wrist as the feeling took me over and he finally moved to where he could look down at me. When I opened my eyes, I could tell that he was worried as hell that he had done something wrong.  
I kept holding onto his wrist as regained my composure, and when I finally found my voice, the only word that I could form popped out.  
“Yes”  
His eyebrow went up as he looked down at me.  
“Yes what?”  
“Yes to what you just did Eric” I said as I pulled him back down to me.  
“Thank god for that” he said as he came down on top of me and buried his face back in my neck.  
We laid that way for a long time.  
So long that Eric fell asleep with his face pressed firmly in my neck.  
I managed to get out from under him without waking him up. I went over to my dresser and grabbed my pajama pants and changed into them. I lost my bra and pulled his shirt back on before I set the alarm on my bedside table for an hour before my mom would be getting up. Then I laid back down beside him. He instantly wrapped his arm around me and curled into my back. I fell into a peaceful sleep with a smile on my face.


	8. Chapter 8

My body realized that I was awake before my eyes did. I let myself stretch before I slightly opened my eyes, just enough to peek at the digital clock beside my bed. I saw that I was only a few minutes before 9am, which meant it was way too early for me to be awake on a Saturday. I closed my eyes and snuggled back into my pillow seconds before it hit me. I sat up and turned to look behind me all in one swift movement. He was gone.  
I jumped up and went to my bedroom window that looked out onto the street. His car was gone.  
I didn’t have a clue what time he had actually left, let alone if my mom was going to come home super pissed at me later.  
I had my hand on the doorknob to leave my room but stopped when I saw the post it note stuck to the door.  
::I’ll call you after work <3 Reb::  
It struck me as weird that he had signed his name that way, considering I did not call him that and I did not plan on doing so.  
I pulled the note off of my door and walked over to my vanity, sticking it to the mirror.  
I grabbed some clothes for the day and went to take a shower.  
Once I was dressed and sitting at the bar in the kitchen, I let my thoughts consume me.  
Last night was not at all what I had expected. I really thought that once I had given him the go ahead, that he would have went all for it. It was becoming more apparent to me by the day that the Eric I thought I had always known, was not the Eric that I know now. The Reb persona had dominated most of everything that he had ever written, therefore that’s the only side of him that I was familiar with up until now. Where was the angry, hurt, humiliated boy that I thought I would be coming face to face with. Because the Eric that I know doesn’t seem to be any of those things.  
And then there’s Dylan. The boy that had been the first one to make friendly contact with me. If I didn’t know what I know, then there wouldn’t be a chance in hell that I would ever consider the fact that he was hiding something so dark from everyone that knows and loves him. We had become super close and I also realize that recently I had pulled away from him to spend more of my time with Eric. That really needed to change. I had to find a good balance between the two of them so that when the time came, I could change their outcome.  
And also, what the hell am I going to do if my mom knows that Eric spent the night here. Boys had spent the night in my time, but she always made them a spot on the couch, which was in between my room and hers. It’s going to be hard as hell to sit here for the next few hours and wonder if she is highly ticked at me.

My worry over at least one of the issues ended a little after 1 that afternoon when my mom came through the door with a mcdonalds bag and my favorite, a chocolate milkshake.  
She started telling me about her day at work, and I immediately knew that we were good. She didn’t know he had been here.  
“How was the party last night?” she asked once she had changed out of her work clothes and sat down with me in the kitchen.  
“It was fun”  
“Fun. That’s all?”  
I passed her a shy smile, knowing that she wanted more details, but I absolutely would not be giving her any because for the most part, the only thing I cared about was what had happened after the party.  
She took the hint and dropped it.

We were in the living room watching TV together later that afternoon when the phone rang. I knew that it wouldn’t be Eric since he didn’t get off work for a few more hours, so I didn’t get up to answer.  
“I guess I’ll get it” my mom let out as she rushed to pick it up before the called hung up.  
I couldn’t hear the conversation and hadn’t tried to, but once she came back into the room I wished that I had.  
“That was Kathy Harris”  
I sat straight up, and I know that she could see the panic on my face.  
“She thought that since you and Eric have been together for a while that maybe it’s time for us to meet. I agree”  
I let out the breath that I had been holding in. My brain had convinced the rest of me that she had found out that he stayed here and was calling to rat us out.  
I nodded my head at my mom as I let myself relax.  
“We will go to their house for dinner in two weeks. I told her that I will make my famous butterfinger cake” she continued.  
“Sounds good to me”

I was up in my room laid across my bed listening to music when my mom opened my door and told me that Eric was on the phone. I rushed down stairs, hoping that he was planning to come get me so that we could hang out again tonight. I had already fixed my hair and was ready to go.  
“Hey”  
“Hey, I wanted to call and let you know that I feel horrible. I thinks it’s just because I didn’t get much sleep. I’m probably gonna take a shower and crash”  
I felt my bottom lip poke out.  
“Are you mad?” he asked hesitantly.  
“Not mad. I just wanted to see you” I let him know honestly.  
“Maybe we can hang out tomorrow. I’m off”

We ended the call and I continued standing against the wall pouting.  
I thought about calling Casey, but I knew that all she would want to do was hang out at one of our houses and I really wanted to get out for a while. So I decided to tackle one of the other issues.  
I picked the phone back up and dialed the number, hoping that he didn’t already have plans.  
“Hello?”  
“Dylan?”  
“Yep. Whose this?” he asked.  
“Wow. You forgot your best friend that fast?”  
“Pshh, I’ve been taking applications for your replacement since you abandoned me for Reb” he laughed out.  
“What are you doing? Let’s hang out”  
“You mean you aren’t hanging out with your boyfriend tonight?” he asked.  
“He is tired. So you are my next best option”  
“Well when you put it like that” he replied, trying to sound offended.  
“Oh come on. You know you want to hang out with me”  
“I’m supposed to meet the group at the mall later. I guess you could tag along”  
“Well when you put it like that” I mocked him.  
“I’ll be there in 30” he replied before he hung up the phone.

Halfway to the mall, Dylan’s mood rubbed off on me. He was dancing around as he drove and making up his own hilarious lyrics to songs and I had joined right in with him.  
When we pulled up, we were right in the middle of our own version of Enter Sandman, and there was so way we were stopping until it was finished. He parked the car and we continued the song as the group of friends stood in the parking space next to ours looking at us like we were crazy.  
“I wish like he someone had been recording that” Dylan laughed out once the song had ended and we were getting out of the car.  
“That was epic as fuck” I replied with a laugh.

The group of us spent a while in the arcade before we went to the food court and pushed some tables together to eat. I sat next to Dylan and stole French fries off of his tray after I said I wasn’t hungry.  
“God Y/n, such a bum”  
“They always taste better when they are someone else’s” I replied as I snatched another fry.

The group parted ways when the mall got ready to close at 10. We mutually agreed that we weren’t ready to go home yet, so we didn’t.  
We ended up at the park that was completely desserted with it being so late.  
We found a picnic table and once we were both sat on the top of it, Dylan pulled out his flask.  
“You have to drive me home dude” I said as I watched him put it to his mouth and then he tried to pass it to me.  
“I’m good” I let him know. He instantly took another long drink.  
“Dylan, you have to drive me home later. Stop that shit”  
“I’m a pro Y/n. relax” he laughed out at me.  
I could tell the moment that the so called pro went over the edge because he went from picking at mine and Eric’s relationship, to being flat out sad at his lack of one.  
I reached in his pocket and took his keys without a fight from him. He just kept talking.   
He turned the flask up again and started to chug this time. Once it was empty, he laid it in my lap and turned to look at me with a look on his face that I hadn’t seen before.  
“You are one of the good ones Y/n. I would never let anyone or anything hurt you if I can stop it. I haven’t been able to do that for myself. That’s why we have to do it. We will show the world that we shouldn’t have been fucked with”  
I felt the blood rush out of my face and my ears started to ring.  
“What are you talking about Dylan?”  
“The fucking end. Dooms day. The day that we will become the judge, jury, and god all at the same time. They will pay for it all. I can’t fucking wait”  
He continued on like I was supposed to know exactly what he was talking about.  
He stood up from the table and lost his balance as he wobbled back and forth in front of me.  
“We should go before the cops come through on patrol” he said as he tried to take his keys away from me.  
“No way dude. I’m driving”  
“How the hell am I getting home then?” he asked with his eyes glazed over.  
“You aren’t” I let him know. I linked my arm through his and helped him over to the car and into the passenger seat. He went hysterical when I started moving the seat and steering wheel so that I could reach the pedals and see out to drive.  
“You are a midget. That’s why Eric likes you so much. You make him look tall” he laughed out.  
“Ha ha”

I made the drive from the park and to my house and I practiced what I was going to say to my mom once we got there. She would most likely still be awake since it’s Saturday night and she doesn’t have work on Sundays.  
We pulled up and I cut the car off and told Dylan to stay put.  
I went inside and could hear the music coming from the back of the house, so I went that way.  
I found my mom standing in the middle of the room with a wine glass in her hand as she swayed back and forth to the music. She was obviously drunk.  
I explained what had happened and she immediately went into action. I followed her to the hall closet where she pulled out blankets and a pillow and started making the couch up. No questions asked. Just as she was finishing, the front door opened, and a very drunk Dylan wobbled his lanky self over to the couch and flopped down. He looked up at my mom with a big grin on his face.  
“Thanks” he mumbled out before he fell over and passed out.  
I pulled his shoes off and laid a blanket over him before I went up to my room and did the same.

As soon as I opened my bedroom door the next morning, I could smell breakfast cooking and could hear laughter coming from downstairs.  
When I went into the kitchen, the sight in front of me was enough to make anyone laugh. Dyylan was wearing my moms pink apron and was at the stove frying bacon. My mom was next to him with her own apron on, working on eggs.  
“Good morning honey!” my mom said once she spotted me.  
“Morning honey. Breakfast is almost done” Dylan said in a teasing tone that made me roll my eyes at him.  
I sat down at the bar and watched the two of them finish breakfast. Once it was done, they both joined me and we ate.  
The phone rang halfway through and I got up to answer it.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey I need to talk to you” Eric said and I could tell that something was wrong by the sound of his voice.  
“Okay. What’s up?”  
“I did not burn the bacon Ruth, I like mine crispy” Dylan laughed out.  
“Is Dylan at your house?” Eric asked, his voice an octave higher than normal.  
“Yeah”  
“Why is he there so early Y/n?”  
“It’s a long story. Want to come over and talk?” I asked.  
“Nah I’m good”  
“I thought you wanted to talk?”   
“Not anymore. I’ll see you later” Eric said before the line went silent.  
“Who was that honey?” my mom asked once I had hung the phone up and went back to the bar.  
“Eric”  
“He’s pissed” I told Dylan, who looked as worried as I felt.

We helped my mom clean up the kitchen before Dylan followed me up to my room.  
“I’m sorry Y/n. I’ll talk to him and fix it” Dylan said after he sat down on the edge of my bed.  
“He just misunderstood I’m sure. I probably would have done the same thing”  
Dylan nodded his head in agreement but didn’t look any more relaxed about it.  
“Dylan we need to talk about what you told me last night”  
“What did I tell you?” he asked, now looking way more worried.  
I filled him in word for word about what he had said and with every word that came out, his eyes got bigger and his face got more red.  
“I was just drunk. Drunk ramblings” he tried to convince me but what he didn’t know is that I knew otherwise.  
“I don’t think so Dylan. You sounded way too sure of yourself. I think we should talk more about it now that you are sober”  
“He hasn’t said a single thing to you about any of it?” he asked, catching me off guard.  
“If he had said something to me like that then don’t you think I would have been questioning you already?”  
“God damnit. I fucked up. I need to fix this shit with him first before I piss him off again” he said before he stood and went out my bedroom door. I heard the front door close seconds later and I watched out the window as his car sped away down the road.

I had hoped that once Dylan had talked to Eric, he would call. He didn’t. I waited until after dinner time and then I decided to walk to his house.  
His mom let me in and told me that I could go on down to his room.  
His bedroom door was closed and I could hear music coming from behind it. I knocked once with no response. I knocked again louder than the first time and the door flew open in my face. There stood a very pissed off looking Eric.  
“Hey, I wanted to talk to you before you got yourself even more pissed at me” I said once he moved to the side to let me in.  
“Pissed about what Y/n? the fact that I got a phone call that you were at the mall all over or Dylan or the fact that he spent the night at your house last night?”  
“Woah! First of all, I don’t know who you got your information from but I was not all over Dylan. He is my friend just like he is yours. We would never do something like that to you. Second of all, Dylan got wasted and there was no way I was letting him drive home like that. My mom made him a spot on the couch and he passed out. End of story. Nothing to be this mad at me about”  
He stood quietly looking at me for several minutes like he didn’t know how to respond. When he finally spoke, he reached in and pulled my heart right out of my body with his words.  
“I think we need to slow down here. Maybe take some time apart”   
His voice was so cold that I literally shivered.  
I knew that I was about to cry, and I hated myself so much for letting this kid make me feel this way. There was no stopping it though. I headed for the stairs and halfway up, my throat was burning so bad from holding in my tears that I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  
When I passed his mom in the kitchen, she took one look at me and knew that something was wrong. She dried her hands on a towel before she came my way.  
“What’s wrong honey?”  
I shook my head back and forth, knowing that if I spoke, the dam would break, and I would be a mess in Eric Harris’s kitchen. So without a word, I went out the front door and speed walked back to my house.  
I made it up to my room before I let myself lose it. Once it started, it didn’t stop until I had cried myself to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

As I got myself ready for school the next morning, I tried my best to keep my shit together. My face was obviously swollen from all the crying I had done the night before, and I did my best to hide it from my mom on the way out the door. I did not want to talk about it.  
I had a tiny bit of hope that when I opened the front door, I would see his car sitting out front waiting on me. It wasn’t there of course. All hope is gone.  
Casey found me at my locker and I quickly filled her in on everything. As she listened, I watched her face go from confused to pissed. I didn’t even realize that I had started to cry again until she reached over and wiped my face with the sleeve of her shirt.  
She didn’t say anything as I finished getting the things I needed and closed my locker. As soon as it was shut, I saw Eric and Dylan coming down the hallway. I took a step out into the hall to approach them but Eric sped up his pace and went right past me with Dylan by his side. As they passed, Dylan shot me a sympathetic look over his shoulder.  
“So that’s how it’s gonna be then”  
“Try not to let it get to you too bad. Give him a chance to think it through and calm down before you react. There could still be a chance to save all this. If not with Eric, then with Dylan” Casey said before we parted ways.

When the bell rang, telling me to go to 3rd hour, I seriously did not want to. For the first time in a long time, I was not excited to see him. I had no idea how he was going to act or how I would react to however he did.  
I took my normal seat right behind Nate, and he immediately turned around and started talking to me. I could not tell you a thing he was saying because my mind was as far away as it could go at the moment. Right before the bell rang, Eric came in. To my surprise, he sat in the desk next to mine. He looked over at me and as we made eye contact, he looked like he was about to say something, but the bell rang, and the teacher started talking.  
There were plenty of other places he could have sat so I was taking this as a small victory.

The bell rang for lunch and not knowing what was going to happen, I slowly packed my stuff up and tried to take my time getting out of the room. Eric seemed to be doing the same exact thing. Like he was also waiting to see what I was going to do.  
Once there was nothing else for me to stall with, I put my backpack on my shoulder and headed towards the door. I looked over my shoulder and he wasn’t there.  
He never came to the lunch table and when I sat down beside Dylan, all he did was glance over at me before he put himself into a different conversation, as if he was avoiding me.  
Video class what pretty much the same way. Eric sat further away from me then he typically did. I sat beside Dylan, but he didn’t give me any kind of attention. When we were released to go film, I followed behind the group to go outside. I knew what we were doing today and I knew that I could keep myself to the side and out of the way. Hopefully anyways.  
I watched as they did all the different takes, throwing things at the bike and laughing like they were making the next great masterpiece. At one point, Dylan came and stood beside me and was laughing with me at how ridiculous it was going to look.  
“Dylan, shut up!” Eric yelled out from behind the camera as he passed us a look that could kill.  
He walked over and picked up a big hammer and went over to the bike. Before he started hitting it, he looked back at me and I could see the emotions pouring off of him. Once he took the first swing, he didn’t stop. I stood silently beside Dylan watching it play out.

When class ended, I lost Dylan. We would typically go to smoke before our last class, but he wasn’t there when I got outside so I went on to the auditorium. I found him already in the sound booth.  
“Okay. What the fuck dude?” I asked, slinging my backpack on the floor and going to the chair beside him.  
He turned his chair towards mine and started spitting the words out as if he had been waiting all day for this.  
“Eric is all fucked up. Once he heard my side of the story and knew that he had over reacted, he lost it. He thinks that he fucked everything up with you and he doesn’t want to feel the rejection if he tries to fix it. He doesn’t want you to know any of this, so he told me to stay the hell away from you until he figures it all out. I didn’t want to piss him off anymore considering I haven’t even told him what I said to you the other night yet”  
“Why didn’t he just come to me so we could talk about it instead of acting the way he is acting?” I asked, once it had all set in.  
“Because he has no idea what he is doing Y/n. It’s not like he is an expert with the girls” Dylan replied with a smile.  
“Why would I want to approach him if he is treating me like this though?”  
“I don’t imagine that you would. But if you want to go back to how you were then you will probably have to” he let me know.  
“You are going to have to tell him what you told me. If you don’t then I will. I need to know what the hell is going on with you two”  
Now was as good of a time as any.  
“Let me figure out how to do that. Give me some time. Please?” he asked, looking extra worried. I nodded my head at him to let him know that I would.

The booth went quiet as Dylan worked on the sound for play practice. I sat in the chair beside him trying to figure out what my move was going to be. I didn’t want to make the wrong one and make him feel trapped but at this moment I wasn’t sure what other choice I had.  
The bell rang and I walked with Dylan to the smokers pit. I was happy to see that Eric was there. Even if he was looking at Dylan like he was about to attack. I should have rushed to the bus and got myself home so that I had more time to think about what I was going to do. Instead, I waited until Eric had said his goodbyes and started towards the parking lot and I followed him.  
He got into the drivers seat and I opened the passenger door and got in beside him.  
“What are you doing?” he asked. Not in an angry tone. He was genuinely confused.  
“You are taking me home” I said as I turned my head to look at him. He stared back at me for a second before he started the car and pulled out.  
The music was never turned up, so this car ride was becoming increasingly more awkward by the second.  
By the time we pulled up to my house and parked, my brain had put me through so many scenarios that I was a bundle of nerves.  
“Can I call you later?” Eric asked as he put the car in park.  
I reached over and turned the key in the ignition. Cutting the car off.  
“You can talk to me now”  
His grip on the steering wheel tightened before he let go and dropped his hands into this lap.  
“I’m not good at this shit Y/n. I’m pretty sure that my brain doesn’t work like everyone elses does. I get so damn mad and there is no stopping it until I’m ready for it to stop” he said, almost in a whisper.  
“I might have reacted the same way Eric. I wasn’t thinking about how you would feel. I was just hanging out with a friend and then I couldn’t let him drive home like that. I guess I should have told you first. I really am sorry”  
This seemed to catch him off guard. Like he wasn’t prepared for me to be the one apologizing.  
“I’m sorry to. I know I fucked everything up”  
“You didn’t though” I let him know. He slowly brought his eyes to mine and the look on his face was crushing me. As if he was scared to let himself be happy.  
“I don’t want to do what we have been doing all day anymore. I want to be excited to see you again and not have to know that you are mad at me” I continued.  
“Then let’s do that” he replied, still looking unsure of himself.  
I leaned over and kissed his cheek before I grabbed my backpack and got out of the car.

I had hoped that everything was fine now. I had taken the step like I knew I would have to, and I thought that we would go back to how we were. Sure, he was taking me to school and driving me home, but things were not the same. He seemed distant. He never tried to make contact with me and if I went to hold his hand or kiss him, he would flinch like he didn’t know what to do. I tried to test the theory once again as he parked his car in front of my house the Friday afternoon before we were to have dinner with his parents the next day.  
I leaned over and grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his lips to me. He tensed up and went stiff as a statue. Barely even kissing me back. I tried my hardest not to let it bother me.

My mom was busy in the kitchen making her cake the morning before the dinner. I took my time getting ready, painting my nails, straightening my hair, applying my makeup. I went a little out of my comfort zone and put on a sweater dress with a pair of brown boots, and when I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized the teenage version of myself that stared back at me. 

The two minute driver seemed like it took a lot longer, but once we were standing at the front door, I shook my hands at my side and put on the best smile that I could. Tonight I would get to the bottom of all this. There’s barely 5 months left and even though that sounded like a lot of time, I knew that it wasn’t.  
Eric’s dad came to the door and started the introductions. He shook my moms hand as he told her his name and then he put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.  
“Good to see you again Y/n. I was afraid that my son had scared you off” he said with a laugh as he led us into the family room.  
Kathy came out of the kitchen and wiped her hands down her apron before she introduced herself to my mom. That instantly took to each other as my mom handed over the cake she had made.  
“Y/n would you mind going down and getting Eric for me? I don’t know what is taking him so long. Dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes” she asked as she carried the cake into the kitchen and my mom made herself comfortable on the couch across from Eric’s dad.  
I went down the stairs and into Eric’s opened door, but he wasn’t in there.  
The bathroom door was closed, but I didn’t hear any noise coming out of there, so I knocked.  
“Yeah” Eric called out, sounding out of breath and not like himself.  
“It’s me. Your mom sent me down to get you”  
I could hear him moving around now and then he cracked the door enough to poke his head out.  
“I’ll be up in a minute” he said with bright red cheeks.  
“What are you doing?” I asked, having a feeling that I already knew the answer.  
“I’ll be out in a minute” he repeated, looking completely flustered.  
“I think you should come out now”  
His eyes went over my face before I turned and went back into his bedroom.  
The door opened and he walked into the room behind me with his shirt untucked, trying to cover what was very obvious. I didn’t let him see me look. Not wanting to embarrass him anymore than he already was.  
I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck causing him to immediately stiffen at the contact.  
“I need you to stop doing that. How are we supposed to go back to how we were if I can’t even touch you without you making me feel like you don’t want me to”  
His tongue came out and went over his lips as he looked down at me.  
“I do want you to. I just know that I’m gonna mess it all up again” he replied before he let his hands go around my back and he pulled me a little closer to him.  
“Stop thinking like that and kiss me”  
He smiled down at me before he brushed his lips across mine. Not nearly long enough for my liking though. I pulled him back down to me and it took him a second to relax into the kiss. Once he did, it was like fireworks started going off behind my eyelids. I was clinging to him like I needed him more than I needed air. He was just as frantic as his hands went up and down my back and into my hair, holding me to him.  
He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine as his hands went back down to rest on my waist.  
“Why did you stop?” I asked.  
“Because we have to go sit at the table with our parents and I was already in a bit of a situation before you knocked on the door” he said, and I could hear the humor mixed with embarrassment in his voice.  
“I thought so” I replied before I let my hands go down to the top of his pants. He jerked his hands around and grabbed onto my wrists as he pulled his head back to look at me.  
“Please don’t stop me Eric”  
“What are you doing?” he asked with a mix of horror and excitement on his face.  
“Helping you” I replied as I shook his hands off of my wrists and unbuttoned his pants. He didn’t try to stop me this time and once his pants hit the ground around his ankles, I started to rub him through his boxers. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed, and he was biting down on his bottom lip so hard that I thought he might break the skin. He was already hard, so it didn’t take long to work him over the edge with my hand. He hadn’t made a sound the whole time so when his breathing got louder and his teeth let go of his lip, I knew it was happening. His body jerked before he grabbed back onto my wrist and made me stop.  
“God damn” he breathed out against my lips before he kissed me harder than before.  
“I’ll let them know that you will be up in a minute” I said as I pulled away from him and went out of his room with a smile on my face.

No one was in the kitchen when I went up, so I stopped at the sink and washed my hands before I went into the family room and sat down beside my mom. Eric came up a few minutes later looking more like himself than I had seen him in weeks.   
We were sat at the table in the dining room and as our parents did most of the talking, we passed each other short glances back and forth. I had finished eating and was sitting waiting for everyone else to finish when I felt Eric’s hand grab mine under the table. It was the first contact that he had initiated in a long time and my whole body reacted to it.   
“If you two smile like that everytime you are together than your face muscles have to be hurting by now” Eric’s dad said with a laugh. Eric went red as I smiled even bigger in response.  
“Ah, young love. I had forgotten what that looked like” my mom responded as she looked between me and Eric.  
Me to mom. Me to.

After dinner, we were all sat in the family room and the conversation continued for a while until my mom looked at her watch.  
“It’s getting pretty late. We should go honey. Thank you so much for having us. I’m so happy to finally meet you and I hope that we get a chance to do it again in the future”  
I stood up with my mom but before we could make it to the front door, Eric caught my hand in his.  
“I was thinking that we could hang out for a while since it’s Saturday and all” he said, more to the parents instead of me.  
“You know I don’t mind” my mom said before she looked to his parents.  
“Of course. Be safe” his mom chimed in.

We made it to his car and were pulling away from the house before my mom had even gotten inside of her car to leave.  
“Where are we going?” I asked as Eric weaved in and out of traffic.  
“Where we can be alone” he replied without looking my way.  
“That’s the spirit”  
“Oh god. You come over dressed like a damn prep and now you are talking like a cheerleader” he replied with a laugh which made me laugh in return.  
He turned off on a gravel road and drove up a little before he stopped the car and unbuckled his seatbelt.  
“Come on” he said as he climbed into the back seat. I unbuckled and followed behind him and once I was on the seat next to him, he pulled me into him and laid back as much as he could. I laid my head on his chest and he kept his arms wrapped around me as we laid in silence just being close to each other for a while.  
“I really am sorry about everything that happened” he finally said.  
“Let’s just forget about it okay?”  
He nodded his head before he kissed the top of my head and squeezed me tighter.  
“You know that love doesn’t exist right? It’s just another feeling like comes and goes. Like being happy or mad or sad”  
I pushed away from him enough to see his face and he looked back at me, serious as hell.  
“You really feel that way? That if you love someone it can just go away one day?” I asked.  
He gave me a smirk before he sat up and looked at me.  
“Do you believe in love Y/n?”  
“Of course I do” I replied.  
“Hmmm”  
“What do you mean hmmmm? How can you not?”  
“I know that I like you more than I have ever liked any other human I’ve ever met. That’s all I’ll say about it” he replied with a laugh as he came back at me and buried his face in my neck.  
“I guess I can live with that then” I said with a smile as his lips started working their way up my neck.  
Before long, the windows were completely fogged up and we were both panting messes in the backseat of his car. He pulled away from me and climbed back into the front and started the car as I followed him feeling confused about why he stopped.  
“It’s getting cold and I’m sure my mom is wondering when I’m coming home” he let me know.  
“Yeah”  
He turned and looked at me with a cocked eyebrow before he smiled.  
“You didn’t want to stop huh?” he asked as he pulled the car down the gravel road.  
“Actually no I didn’t”  
He just smiled as he continued driving to my house.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanksgiving came and went. We did our own family stuff, and I spent the whole weekend after with Casey at her house. We hadn’t spent much time together and I knew she was feeling lonely being trapped here for no good reason. We watched movies together and by the time I left Sunday morning, I felt like everything was good. Everything was coming together.  
I got home around lunch and went straight in to call Eric. His mom let me know that he was off with Dylan and that she would tell him that I called.  
I cleaned my room up and helped my mom with laundry and before long, the day was almost over, and the sun was starting to go down. I was just about to call again, thinking that maybe his mom didn’t tell him that I called, when he knocked on the door.  
I smiled as I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside and up to my room.  
“I thought you forgot about me”  
“Pshh like that will ever happen” he said with a laugh as he sat down with me on my bed and laced our fingers together.  
I smiled over at him and let my eyes go down to our hands. The smile quickly disappeared as I saw the cut going along his hand. Right between his thumb and pointer finger. I let go of his hand and tried to calm my breathing as he looked at me weirdly.  
“You okay?”  
“What happened to your hand?” I asked. Staring him right in the eyes. I needed to see what his face looked like when he lied.  
“Ah, it’s nothing”  
“That is not nothing. What did you do to your hand Eric” I asked more adamantly this time.  
“Me and Dylan went shooting today and the damn thing pinched my hand” he said as he inspected the cut. I could not believe that he was actually telling me the truth. I was waiting for whatever story he was about to come up with and he flat out told me was something I was not prepared for.  
“As in guns?”  
“Well yeah. What else would we be shooting?” he asked as if it was no big deal.  
“Don’t get all weird about it. We just went to rampart. That’s where everybody goes to shoot” he continued, letting me know that my face was showing him how I was feeling.  
“Where did you get guns?”  
“Can we talk about something else? It’s not that big of a deal okay?” he asked, visibly getting irritated with my questions. So I nodded my head at him.

I couldn’t wait to get to the sound booth the next day. I needed to talk to Dylan and find out when he was going to tell Eric what he told me. I couldn’t keep going on pretending like I didn’t know anything.

As soon as I got inside, I started asking questions.  
“Y/n I promise that I will talk to him. I wanted to wait a while since you guys just now got back to good”  
“How long Dylan? Until what, April?”  
“Why would you say that? He has told you something hasn’t he? There’s no way that you would know to say that date unless he had told you. Stop bullshitting me” he replied as he became visibly uncomfortable in his chair.  
“He hasn’t told me anything Dylan”  
He looked at me with a look that I didn’t typically get from Dylan. One that had been reserved for someone that was pissing him off. I decided to back away from the subject for now.

School let out for Christmas break and I had been dreading it because I knew that meant that Eric was going to New York to spend the whole break with family there. I didn’t know what I was going to do for almost 3 weeks without him.  
He came by the night before they were leaving and we spent a few hours in my room talking and cuddling which led to heavy petting without any happy endings.  
The first week was pure agony as I tried to find things to do to occupy my time. Dylan had grown distant since our conversation in the sound booth and Casey was stuck doing holiday stuff with her family.  
Eric would call every other day or so and we would talk long enough to make me want to cry because I missed him so much.  
I was at home alone on the second Saturday night. My mom was going out with work friends again and I was happy for her, but I also really did not want to spend the night alone. I ended up taking one of her bottles of wine and going into the back room. I loaded the CD player down with all of my favorite CD’s and then I got inside of the hot tub for the first time. I drank the wine straight from the bottle as I laid my head back on one of the cushions and let myself get lost in the music. I was pulled out of it by the phone ringing. I jumped up and ran, tracking water all through the house behind me. I made it to the cordless phone in the living room and once I heard Eric’s voice, I took it with me and climbed back inside the hot tub.  
“I’m jealous as hell. I wish I was in the hot tub drinking wine with you right now”  
“I wish you were to” I let him know as I made myself comfortable again.  
“We should do that when I get back” he said after a moment of silence.  
“You don’t even really drink Eric” I replied with a laugh.  
“I do get in hot tubs though”  
“Then yeah we should. We will have to figure out how to get rid of my mom first. Or all 3 of us will end up in the hot tub”  
“Wow that’s one way to make it a lot less sexy Y/n” he said, making me laugh again.  
“I miss you Eric”  
“I miss you to. Only a few more days”

We ended the call, and I went back to feeling sorry for myself as I got drunk alone in the hot tub.

The following Thursday, I got out of bed with more pep in my step than I had in the last few weeks. Eric would be home sometime tomorrow, and I couldn’t wait to see him. It was the 2nd day into the new year and that meant I had a little over 3 months to get him to spill it all out to me so that I could start trying to stop it.  
I took a shower and went downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal. My mom was at work until 5 in the evening so there was no sense in actually cooking anything. I was taking the bowl to the sink to wash when the phone rang. It was only 10 in the morning so I figured it had to be a telemarketer or something. I answered it with very little enthusiasm.  
“Hello?”  
“God Y/n don’t sound so happy to hear from me” Eric said into the phone.  
“Oh hey, I wasn’t expecting it to be you this early”  
“I wanted to call before we headed out. There’s a snow storm coming and we want to get on the road so we don’t get stuck here” he let me know.  
“I would seriously die if you did”  
“I highly doubt that. What are you gonna do today?” he asked.  
“Absolutely nothing. The same thing I have been doing for weeks”  
“We will change that tomorrow. We will do anything you want to do”  
“Anything?” I asked, trying to get my point across with my tone of voice.  
“Are you trying to tease me right now?”  
“Is it working?”  
He let out a long breath before he spoke again.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”  
“See you tomorrow. Be careful” I said before we ended the call.

I washed the dishes I had used and went into the family room to find something to watch on tv. I was flipping through the channels when I heard the knock on the front door.  
Nobody ever came over unannounced, so I peeked through the curtain before I opened the door. When I saw Eric standing there, I jerked the door open and jump at him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I know I probably looked like a spider monkey dangling from a tree, but I didn’t care.  
“I guess you did miss me” he said with a laugh as he squeezed me back just as hard as I was squeezing him.  
“How are you here right now?” I asked as he walked into the house with me still attached to him and he closed the door before he sat me down.  
“We got in last night. Because there actually was a snow storm coming” he said as he smiled down at me.  
“This is not at all how I wanted to look when I saw you”   
“Hey bugs bunny is cool” he laughed out as he looked down at my pajama pants.  
I rolled my eyes as he pulled me back into him and squeezed me again.  
“So about that anything that you said you wanted to do..”  
I felt my cheeks go hot and I was glad that my face was in his chest to where he couldn’t see me.  
“My mom won’t be home for at least 6 hours”  
“Oh yeah?” he said with a hint of nervousness in his voice.  
“Yep. Want to try out the hot tub with me?”  
“I’d have to go back home and get some swim shorts” he said, finally looking down at me.  
“Then you should do that. But hurry”  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face that red. Is that what mine does?” he asked, seriously.  
“Stop it. I’ll leave the door unlocked. Come to the back room when you get back” I said as I pushed him away and jogged up the stairs to my room.

I found my bathing suit and put it on as quickly as possible. I grabbed two towels from the hall closet before I went downstairs and to the back room. I switched out the CD’s and started the music before I pulled the lid off of the hot tub and climbed inside. My nerves were getting worse every second that I waited on him to get back.  
When he finally walked into the room, he was wearing a t-shirt with a pair of dark blue swim shorts and I had to stop myself from reacting. It was so strange to see him in this way.  
He looked as nervous as I was feeling as he pulled his shirt over his head and climbed in beside me.  
I got a quick glimpse of his chest and it occurred to me that I had completely forgotten about that detail and he had never mentioned it. He wasn’t going to now either as he came up beside me and put his arm over the back of the hot tub behind me.  
“Can I move in?”  
“Fuck yes you can” I replied with a laugh as my nerves started to calm.  
He relaxed beside me and laid his head back and I turned my head to watch him. I wished that I could see inside to know exactly what he was thinking about in that moment.  
He turned his head and caught me looking. Before I could look away, his hand came up to the side of my face and I leaned into it as our eyes locked.  
“Come here” he said, and I did. I climbed onto his lap, straddling him to where I was facing him. He looked up at me with wide eyes, like he hadn’t been expecting that exactly.  
I put my hands on his chest and leaned down, starting the kiss. I could feel him getting worked up underneath me and I pushed myself down harder on him before I moved my hips a little, causing a moan to come out of him. I pulled away so that I could see him, and I knew that he was just about to the point of no return.  
“We could go to my room if you want to” I let him know as I continued to slowly move my hips on him.  
He nodded his head at me, and I quickly cut the hot tub off and stepped out. I wrapped myself in a towel and handed one to him before I turned away and put the cover back on the hot tub. I cut the music off and led the way out of the room and to the stairs.  
No words were spoken as he followed me up to my room. Once the door was closed, we both stood with our towels wrapped around us, like neither of us knew what to do from here. I did in fact know what to do of course but I didn’t want to take complete control. I wanted him to do it.  
When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to, I closed the gap between us and dropped my towel. He let his go as well and it surprised me when one of his hands came up and he untied the string at the back of my neck that was holding my top on. I let out a small laugh as the top slid down and hit the floor. Eric’s eyes went over my body before his hand came back up and he let his fingers go over my chest lightly. I found his mouth with mine and walked us backwards to my bed. With his mouth now on my chest, I reached down and pulled the stings on the side of my bottoms. Without stopping what he was doing, he reached down and pulled them out from under me and threw them off of the bed. I let my hand go down to touch him through his shorts and his lips went back to my mouth as his hand went to push the shorts down. We were both frantic at this point and I could tell that he was starting to doubt himself. I pushed my knees further apart and raised my hips up towards him to let him know that I wanted this as much as he did. His hand went down between us and he lined himself up before he slowly started to push it. He was shaky and I knew that his nerves must have been all over the place. I let my mouth go to his neck and I started kissing, hoping to reassure him once again.   
Once he was inside of me as far as he could go, he seemed to start to relax. He pulled his head back to look at me and I nodded my head at him as I let my hands go around his back. He started to move slowly at first, but it didn’t take him long to figure out what felt good to the both of us. As he started to go a little harder, I felt myself getting closer to the edge. I began matching his thrusts and within seconds I felt the pressure start to release inside of me. I closed my eyes and held onto him as he continued on and when I opened my eyes, he was looking down at me.  
“Did you?” he asked as he slowed his movements. He looked so shocked.  
I nodded my head as I moved my hips to make him keep going.  
He smiled down at me and looked so proud of himself that I couldn’t help but smile to.  
It didn’t take him long to get to his own release and when it hit, he barely had enough time to pull out before he spilled onto my stomach.  
“Oh shit. We need to be careful with that” I said as I went up on my elbows. Feeling so stupid for not even thinking about it.  
“Fuck. Yeah we do. God damn that was amazing though” he said as he rolled off of me and onto his back.  
I laid back down, smiling up at the ceiling like an idiot.

Eric became extra sweet after that day. Almost clingy. Anytime he wasn’t at work or with Dylan after school, he was at my house or I was at his.  
Dylan had continued his weird act around me. In video class he would almost seem normal, but back in the sound booth, it was almost as if we had never been friends at all.  
The last week of January was warmer than normal for Colorado. There was no snow on the ground and everyone seemed to be happy about it. Eric had plans with Dylan the last Friday night of the month which I was cool with because I needed to spend some time with Casey. Plus I would see him when he was off work the next day.  
We were watching a movie in my family room later into the night and I had noticed that Casey was acting strange. I questioned it a few times, but she would play it off as if nothing was going on. The movie ended and it was close to midnight when she turned to me.  
“Have you heard from Eric?”  
“Not since he dropped me off after school. Why?” I asked, finding it odd that she would ask that.  
“I was just wondering. Maybe he is online”  
“Do you want to talk to him or something?” I asked, starting to get a little defensive.  
“No! Nothing like that. I was just wondering because it seems like you two are always either together or talking online”  
“Well now that you’ve said something I kinda want to go see if he is online” I replied.  
She followed me up with the stairs as if she was nervous. It was really starting to bug me the way she was acting. We didn’t keep much from each other and it really seemed like she was keeping something from me.  
I logged on and scrolled through my list until I saw his name.  
“He is on” I said as I clicked on it and started to type. He beat me to it.  
RebDomine: about time you showed up  
Y/n: I just couldn’t stand another second away from you  
We both of course knew that I was joking.  
I started to type again, but Casey had stood up and started pacing the room. I turned my head to give her my attention and she was grinning from ear to ear.  
“What the hell is up with you?”  
“Y/n what is today?” she asked once she stopped in front of me.  
“Uhh Friday?”  
“Exactly. A fri-fucking-day night. Y/n it’s January 30th. Don’t you get it?” She almost yelled at me.  
“Holy shit”  
Y/n: Eric are you okay  
RebDomine: I’m great. Why do you ask  
I jumped up from the chair and joined Casey with doing a happy dance.  
“Oh my god this is big Y/n! The van break in didn’t happen!”


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as my eyes opened the next day, all I could think about was getting to Eric. I needed to hear his voice, feel him in my arms. The realization that at least something had changed was sending my emotions into over drive and there was no stopping it.   
Casey was still asleep in my bed when I quietly gathered some clothes for the day and got into the shower.   
By the time I was out and dressed, it was almost lunch time and right on cue, my stomach growled. I went back into my room and woke Casey up.  
"I could have slept at least 2 more hours. Jerk" she said after she had yawned and stretched.  
"I'm sure you could have but I need you awake. I'm either going to have to beg my mom to let me take the car for a while when she gets off work or I'm calling a taxi"  
"Why? Where are you going?" She asked in confusion.  
"Black jacks. I need to see Eric with my own two eyes and make damn sure that nothing happened last night"  
"I'm pretty positive that it didn't. He wouldn't have been home and online if it had. But I could actually go for some pizza if you want me to call my dad to come get us" she replied.  
"Even better idea!" 

An hour later, I was in the backseat of her dad's car with Casey up front beside him as he drove us to the pizza place.  
"No need to wait dad. We will get a ride" casey let her worried looking dad know before we got out of the car and went inside the building.  
There was a guy behind the counter who I knew I should have known but I couldn't place him immediately. He smiled at us as we walked in and pulled out a pad to take our order.   
"I would like a large pepperoni pizza. She would like a large order of one of your employees somewhere back there" Casey said with a laugh, causing the guys eyebrow to shoot up as he looked between us.  
"You have got to be Eric's girl. Right?" He said as he looked me up and down. He left the counter and went into the back of the restaurant and within seconds, Eric appeared.  
"What are you doing here?" He asked with a smile as he came to stand where the other guy had been standing.  
"Please just come here" I pleaded with him as I reached my arms over the opening in the counter, signaling him to get to me now.  
He pulled the apron that he was wearing over his head and tossed it onto the counter before he stepped out and grabbed me up as soon as we were close enough. I buried my face in to his chest and couldn't have cared less that he smelled like food and sweat.  
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked as he held him to me.  
I could see Casey watching us with a big smile on her face, and I brought my hand up to wipe the tears off of my cheeks that had escaped.  
"Nothing is wrong at all in this moment. Everything is just fine" I let him know as I snuggled my face into him.  
"If you say so. You guys eating here? If so I will come eat with you and it will be free" he said, directing it to Casey since I was still pressed firmly to the front of his shirt.

We were seated at a booth close to the counter when Eric came out with the pizza.  
"I made your half only pepperoni. I made the other half the way I like it" he let us know as he sat it down.  
They both dug in as I picked at my piece, not interested at all in eating anymore.  
"Why wasn't I invited to the party?" Dylan asked as he came out of the back, covered in flour.  
"Because I'm on break and you aren't duh" Eric replied.  
Dylan stood eyeballing us for several minutes before he came out from behind the counter and approached the table.  
"We all need to talk"  
"What about?" Eric asked.  
Dylan glanced at Casey before his eyes went to me.  
"Just the 3 of us" Dylan replied, causing Eric to cease all movements and look up at Dylan.  
"Uh okay?" Eric finally got out.  
"After work tonight" Dylan continued pushing.  
"We have plans tonight" I let him know.  
"Well make some time for me before. This can't wait any longer" Dylan said before he nodded his head and went back behind the counter and disappeared.  
"What's that about?" Casey asked, knowing damn well what it was going to be about.  
I couldn't believe that he had waited so long to do this. Now that Eric and I are just about as perfect as we could get, he is about to send it all spiraling out of control.

We finished the pizza and Eric put the tray away before he came back to the table.  
"Here take these" he said as he dug into his pocket and pulled out his car keys.  
"Are you serious? You want me to take your car?" I asked as I looked at the keys in his hand like they may burst into flames.  
"Sure. Why not? You can take Casey home and then come back to get me"  
I felt like I was going to faint.

"Oh man! This is fucking epic Y/n!" Casey squealed out as I adjusted the seat and started the car.  
"Calm the hell down so I can calm down please"  
She pretended to zip her lips as she sat back in her seat.  
Once we were on the highway, it didn't take her long to start messing with shit. She turned the radio up and started dancing to the music, went through the glove box, pulled the visor down to look under it.  
"I just had the best idea. You are not allowed to say no!" She said.  
"I'm probably going to say no Casey" I replied, while trying to drive his car as carefully as possible.  
"Yeah you are right. It would be a terrible idea to recreate the whole maniac driving down the highway thing"  
"Correct. Terrible idea. Now stop making me nervous" I replied, shaking my head at her without taking my eyes off of the road.

I dropped her off at her house and still had over an hour before Eric would be off work. With nowhere else to go, and honestly not being very comfortable driving his car, I went back to blackjacks.  
I pulled around back and parked the car where it had been before I got in.   
Eric was at the back door smoking and when he saw me, he reached up and wiped fake sweat off of his forehead like he had been worried the whole time I was gone.  
"Very funny" I replied as I dropped the keys into his hand.  
"You want a drink or something? We've got almost an hour left before we can leave and Dylan wants us to follow him to the park"  
"I'm good"  
He nodded his head and handed me his pack of cigarettes and zippo before he propped the back door open and went back inside.  
I sat on the trunk of his car and smoked as I tried to figure out exactly how all of this was about to go down.  
It had been a while since Dylan had actually had a conversation with me so I had no idea what he was thinking anymore. And Eric was about to get blind sided with it all. This was going to be a mess.

As we followed behind Dylan to the park, I reached over and held Eric's hand. For all I knew, this could be the last time we would ever be this close. I tried not to think that way but it was a very real possibility.

Eric slung the car into the parking spot beside Dylan's and we got out. Dylan was already sitting on top of the picnic table that we had sat on together the night that he let too much slip out. It seemed appropriate.

I gave him a smile as we walked up and once we were stopped, he stood up in front of me and I wanted to cower. If we was trying to be intimidating then it was for sure working.

"What's up dude?" Eric asked, starting the conversation.  
"I need to know how much you told her" Dylan fired back at him.  
Eric's face dropped and he looked at me before jerking his head back to Dylan.  
"What are you talking about V?" He said through clenched teeth like he was trying to signal for Dylan to shut the hell up.  
"Don't give me that shit. She knows it's in April. Nobody should know that besides us. So you told her something" Dylan kept on.  
Eric looked back at me again like he was studying me for a second.  
"Why was anything about April even said. It seems like maybe you are the one who did too much talking" Eric replied, taking a step closer to Dylan, and further away from me.  
"No! Both of you stop it!" I called out, causing both heads to turn my way.  
"I already knew before Dylan said anything. And let me make it clear that he didn't mean to say anything. He didn't even remember it" I said, talking through the tears that were threatening to spill out.  
"That doesn't make any sense Y/n. Don't try to cover for him. This is fucking serious shit" Dylan said, pointing his finger close to my face.  
Eric raised his hand and pushed Dylan's out of my face before he turned to me.  
"What exactly do you know Y/n?"  
"Everything. More than you do actually" I said as the tears finally started.  
"Stop fucking with me. I need you to tell me what you know" he said, taking a step closer to me. I could see how tense he was. I looked around and saw that the only people near were still a long ways away. They wouldn't hear anything.  
"If I tell you then you are just going to have to believe what I say. I have no way of proving anything other than what I know about you and that day"  
Dylan now stepped closer to me, invested in whatever I was about to tell them.  
"Can we at least sit down? You guys are crowding me. I can't fucking breathe" I said as I shook my hands by my sides, trying to stop my fingers from going numb.  
They both moved to the table and sat across from me.  
"This is about to change everything for us. I wasn't ready for that just yet even though I know it needs to happen. I just want you to know that I have loved you both since I was 13 years old. I was in your shoes. I felt the same things that you are feeling every single day"  
"What do you mean 13? We only met you in August Y/n" Dylan spoke up.  
"Just let me talk okay? On April 20th you plan to do one of the worst school attacks that the world has seen at that time. You will set the timers and plant the bombs, but they won't go off. You will go with plan B and go in shooting. You will wound dozens of people and kill 13"   
Eric started shaking his head at me.  
"15 including yourselves"  
"Stop. You can't know any of this shit. This is some kind of joke right?" Eric asked as he jumped up from the table and started backing away from us.  
"It's not a joke. And I do know it. It's all very true. Casey knows it to. It's the only reason that we are here" I said, trying my best not to sob at this point.  
"She knows about the shit to? How is any of this possible?" Dylan asked, looking more intrigued than pissed.  
"I was born in 1986" I started, but was stopped when Eric let out a laugh.  
"You've got your math wrong there"  
"No Eric, I don't. I was born in 1986. Where I am from, it's 2021. You have been dead for almost 22 years there" I pushed on.  
"Stop this shit. I don't want to hear anymore" Eric said, raising his hands to cover his ears like a toddler would do.  
"Why would I lie about any of it? What would I be getting out of lying?"  
"So if all of this is true then you are here to go what? Stop us?" Dylan asked.  
"That's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I came here not knowing what to do her how to do it. All I knew was that I wanted to see a future for you two. I would love to go back home and get on my computer and type in Columbine and only see football scores and shit instead of your dead bodies like I have got years now"  
"So you came here to make me fall in love with you. Hoping that would end it? That's pathetic Y/n"   
Dylan's eyes shot to Eric. He was looking more like the Dylan that I had come to know and it gave me a little ounce of hope that maybe he at least believed me.  
"Don't treat her like that dude. If this is true then she just told you that she has loved you for over half her life"  
"Then it's a good thing that I don't believe in love. Right y/n?" Eric spit out. He was looking at me as if he wished he had never seen me before. As if the last 7 months of our lives hadn't happened at all.   
"No. It's a good thing that I do. Because I do love you. I could have said that I did before I came here but it wouldn't have been true because I didn't know you. I do know you now Eric. You aren't a monster anymore than Dylan is"  
Eric finally broke the stare off and turned and got inside his car. Without another look my way, he left me there.  
"So what happens to you when you go back?" Dylan kept the conversation going.  
"I don't know. That's part of it. I can't go back until it either does or doesn't happen. And then who knows what I will go back to"  
"So you pretty much just stopped your life to come and try to help us? God that means you are really like 30 something" he said, pulling a disgusted look.  
"Dylan, you would be almost 40 in my time. Don't judge too much. And if you wake the hell up and realize that there is more to life then what's here right now, then you will see what it's like to be 40"  
"Do you have kids back there?" He asked.  
"Fuck no"  
"You don't want kids?"   
"Kids aren't really in the cards for me. This isn't about me Dylan. This is about the two of you. I think it's a good sign that you are still here talking to me. Now I need to figure out how to get Eric back." I let him know.  
"If we don't do it, does that mean that you two will end up together?"  
"I told you that I don't know what's going to happen to my Dylan"  
He seemed to let his mind wrap around that for a second before he nodded his head and stood up.  
"Come on"  
"Where are we going?" I asked as I followed him to his car.  
"To wake your boyfriend up"


	12. Chapter 12

We parked behind Eric's car in his driveway and Dylan got out before me.  
"Stay here and let me get him outside so that his mom doesn't hear anything"  
I stayed in the passenger seat of his car, watching as he knocked on the door and Eric's mom answered.  
She let Dylan in before she looked my way and gave me a wave with a confused look on her face. I wanted to go to her. Hug her tightly and tell her that I was going to do everything that I could to save her child. To save them both. To save all the people who they were planning to hurt and kill. Save their families from it all. But all I could do was sit there in Dylan's car and hope that Eric would come to his senses and hear me out at least.

It seemed like forever before Dylan came out of the house, followed by Eric who looked like he had been raging since he left the park. His hair was a mess all over his head as if he had been running his fingers through it non stop. His shirt was untucked and wrinkled at the bottom. 

As he got closer to the car, I could tell that he had been crying as well and it made me think about what was said about the basement tapes. Where Eric sat in his car alone and cried. I hated the thought of him doing that while I was right here. Ready and eager to listen to anything he needed to say. 

I opened the car door and got out. Leaning against the side of the car, I studied Eric and his movements. He was shifting uncomfortably as he waited for someone to speak.

"I'm full of hate and I love it" I said, watching him for a reaction.  
His eyes darted to mine and I couldn't read the look on his face at all.  
"Keep in mind that I want to burn the world"  
"Okay stop. That isn't proving anything to me. You know where my journal is. For all I know you read it at some point and this is all a big fucking game to you" he finally spoke up.  
"Fine. I know that Robyn got you the guns. I also know that once it was all said and done she spoke out for gun safety and stuff. Dylan's mom is going to write a book and she will go around giving speeches about suicide and depression. Eric, your parents are going to react way different than you think they will. I'm not sure you want to hear all of that right now"  
"I don't want to hear any of this shit. Nothing is changing for us. We vowed to do this together. It's a done deal. I really liked having you around. It helped take my mind off all the bullshit that I deal with everyday. But I just don't think that's an option anymore for me" he said with his hands on his hips and looking like he was going to burst into tears again at any second.  
I waited for Dylan to speak up. To help me in some way. He did nothing.  
"I left everything that I've ever known behind to come and try to stop you. To save you. Both of you. If you can't take that into consideration and hear me when I tell you that your lives will not be like this forever, then there was no point in me coming to begin with" I said. I gave them both a chance to respond. When they didn't, I started walking towards my house.  
"Don't leave like this Y/n" Dylan called out to me. But I couldn't stop now. I was already ugly crying and I knew that it was only going to get worse the more I talked and they didn't listen.

I tried to get inside the house without my mom seeing me but I didn't manage to.  
"Honey? What's wrong?" She asked as she wrapped me in her arms and she held me while I cried. I couldn't tell her what was wrong and she didn't pry any further. She just held me like I had wanted her to do for so many years now in my time.  
Not yet ready to actually say everything that happened out loud, I avoided calling Casey and went straight to my bed where I buried my face in my pillow and tried to block out all the voices that were screaming at me in my head.  
I was stuck as a 17 year old and they are not the best at rationalizing things. So I let it consume me.

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock beside my bed. The bright red numbers told me that it was only 2am. I closed my eyes again and tried my hardest to fall back asleep, but my brain started up. I felt my body start to shake as the emotions took my over again. I barely even flinch when I felt the arms go around me and pull me into the person who was not supposed to be in my bed.  
I knew who it was without even looking behind me.  
"How did you get in here Eric?" I asked through my tears.  
"I found the key"  
"Why are you here?"  
"Because you need me to be here. I can't apologize for how I responded and I can't promise that it won't happen again. But I couldn't stand the thought of you laying here doing this alone all night" he said, and I rolled over and buried my face in his neck.  
"I didn't want it to be like this. I thought I could just be there for you and you would change your mind. All I've ever wanted was for both of you to know that someone does care. But it's not just me. So many people care about the two of you and know the real people that you are"  
"Shhhh. Calm down" he whispered into my hair as I cried into his neck.

I woke up to Eric running his hand through my hair. The sun was shining brightly into my window and I knew that any minute my mom was going to know that he was there, if she didn't already.  
"We are both gonna be in trouble" I said with a hoarse voice from crying all night.  
"I don't give a shit. I'm tired of always doing what I'm supposed to do"  
"Please don't say that" I replied as I felt the tears building up again.  
"Alright, time out. If we are going to keep being together then we have to figure this shit out. I don't really want to dwell on the fact that you know all this shit about me. I'm still sorting it all out in my head. I don't for a second believe that you are from the future. I'm honestly starting to think that you are bat shit crazy. But I'm too far in now to do anything about it"  
"Too far in?" I asked, wiping my face with my blanket.  
"Yes Y/n. Way too far. Just like with everything else in my life. I can't stop those things anymore than I can stop my feelings for you. I need you to just trust that I know what I'm doing and leave it alone. If that can't happen then we need to walk away from each other right now"  
I didn't know what to say. I laid completely still as he pulled his arm out from under me and tried to leave.  
"No!" I cried out, and grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him back down.  
"Don't leave me. Not yet"  
"Then I won't leave" he replied as his arms went back around me and he held me to him.

We laid in silence for a long time before my bedroom door opened and my mom walked in, dropping the laundry basket in her arms when she saw us on my bed.  
"I'm sorry!" She said as she quickly closed the door. Making me laugh and Eric look embarrassed as hell.  
"We aren't doing anything mom! I swear!" I called out, not knowing if she could even hear me.

Things were as normal as they could be for the next few days. Neither of the boys brought the subject up again and I was glad that Dylan had come around to being my friend again. The thought did cross my mind that they were playing me. Making sure they stayed on my good side so that I didn't spill what I knew.  
Valentine's day had came. I wasn't really expecting anything the day of because I had plans with Eric to go to dinner that Saturday.  
The school was doing this thing to where you paid a dollar and could send a orange crush soda to someone through out the day.  
I got one in the first 2 classes. Both from Eric of course. By 3rd hour, when the 3rd one was delivered, I was starting to get looks.  
"How many of these did you send me?" I whispered over to him.  
"One for every class" he said with a smile before he blew me a kiss and went back to drawing in his notebook.  
At lunch, I passed one to Casey, mainly because I didn't want to carry them around all day anymore, but also because she didn't have one.  
"Don't be giving my crushes to other people woman" Eric said playfully at the lunch table.  
"Don't worry Eric, she is for sure all yours" Casey let him know with a wink. I had finally filled her in on everything and she seemed to think that everything was still going in the right direction. I have to admit that it could have gone way worse but every single second of every single day, I was still filled with dread.

Alone in the sound booth with Dylan, we were sharing one of my drinks when he caught me off guard.  
"Do you think Casey would go to prom with me?"  
"What about Robyn?" I asked, not thinking anything of it.  
"What about her?" He asked as he looked at me weirdly.  
"Wait, are you telling me that I went to prom with Robyn!?" He asked as he moved closer to me.  
"Uhh, yes. You did. As friends. I'm thinking that should probably still happen. I doubt Casey is going to go"  
"You and Reb going?" He asked.  
"He hasn't asked me. And even if he did, I didn't really enjoy the 2 that I went to in my time so I doubt I would say yes. I would rather just hang out somewhere without all the people" I let him know.  
"I think he probably wants to go though. Just throwing that out there"  
"If he asks then I'll think about it" I responded.

The Saturday after Valentine's day, I was waiting on Eric to pick me up when my mom came into the family room. I knew she wanted to talk about something by the way she was acting.  
"I know that you two like each other a lot. I really like Eric to. I just want you to be safe. You are as ready to be a mom as I am to be a grandma. We don't want that"  
"You don't have to worry about that mom" I lied.  
"I do not believe that for a second. Just use good judgement. Be safe please" she said before she kissed the top of my head.

I got into the car with Eric feeling awkward about the conversation I had just had.  
"What's wrong? Or do I want to know?"  
"Oh nothing. My mom just told me that she isn't ready to be a grandma right now"  
"Jesus. I'm glad I missed that. It's funny she would pick now to say that though" he replied as he passed me a look.  
"Why is that?"  
"Because my parents are also celebrating Valentine's day tonight. At a hotel in Denver actually" he let me know as he drove us to the restaurant.


	13. Chapter 13

We were sat at a table that only had 2 chairs and was right in the middle of the restaurant. Zero privacy at all. Every table was packed full with couples doing the same thing that we were doing. I had been uncomfortable since the minute we walked in and Eric looked like he probably was to.   
The waitress brought us glasses of water and let us know that she would be back shortly to get our orders.  
We waited with no words between us. There wasn’t really a point. It was so loud in the place that we wouldn’t have been able to hear each other if we had tried.   
Several minutes went by before Eric reached across the table and took my hand in his.  
“This kinda sucks” he said with a laugh as his thumb went over my hand.  
“Not be rude or anything but I have to agree”  
“Let’s just go then. We can go through a drive thru and back to my house” he said, looking at me like he really hoped I would agree.  
I nodded my head as I smiled at him and we both stood up and went to the door.  
He grabbed my hand back in his as we walked to the car and we were both laughing about how stupid it all was.  
“I would rather hang out alone with you any day than be crammed in a tiny as room like that with a hundred other people”  
He smiled over at me and squeezed my hand as if he really appreciated what I had said.  
We went through the drive thru at Burger King and took our food back to his house. Once we were sat on the couch in the basement, Eric turned on the tv for background noise while we ate.  
We ended up in his room of course. I sat back on his bed as he pulled off the button up shirt he had on over one of his normal t-shirts. He came and laid between my open knees with his head on my stomach and I let my hand go down and run through his hair.  
I wanted to talk about it. More than anything. But I knew that if I did, it was going to ruin the night and Eric would either be pissed, or he would completely shut down.  
So I stayed quiet.  
“If I could do exactly this right here for the rest of my life then I would be happy as hell” he said as he snuggled closer into me.  
“Me to”  
“Maybe other things to though” he replied with a laugh that shook my body from him being so close.  
He looked up at me and I could see where he was going with it. He moved so that he could bring his mouth to my neck and I shivered at the contact.  
His breath on my skin was a different kind of feeling. I closed my eyes and let myself feel it all. I listened to his slow breaths and I put my hand on his chest so that I could feel his heart beating steadily inside. He pulled his head back so that he could look at me and I forced myself to smile at him. All I really wanted to do was cry. I was so sure in that moment that this is exactly where I was supposed to be. Where I should have been all along. It didn’t matter to me in this very minute that he was capable of doing all of the things that he was planning to do. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about him or where think about him. I loved this boy. That is all that mattered.  
He studied my expression before he pulled back.  
“I’ll stop. I can tell you are somewhere else right now” he said, maybe a little frustrated but not angry.  
“I don’t want you to. I can’t tell you what I was thinking without ruining this. But I don’t want to stop. Even thought I know this is going to be the most painful thing I have ever been through. Please don’t stop”  
He continued studying my face before he came back to me. His lips pressed against mine so gently that I really thought he was just going to stop after. But he didn’t.  
He took his time, letting his hands go over my body, before he took all of my clothes off piece by piece. He let me pull his shirt over his head before his hands went to the top of his pants and he pulled them down and off.  
“I don’t want you to hurt Y/n” he said as he came back down on top of me and let his hand come up to the side of my face.  
“I don’t want you to hurt either”  
“Can we forget about it all for the next few minutes?” he asked before kissing me softly again.  
“Make me forget Eric”  
I didn’t think that he really could of course. But he did.   
He had a lot more confidence this time than he did the first time. When he would move a certain way and I would moan out, he would keep that same movement up until I came apart underneath him.  
He watched me everytime it happened with a look that I knew was love. He would never admit that, but it was all I could see in his eyes.  
He seemed to be holding himself off and my brain was starting to take over again, so I switched it up. Catching him completely off guard when I pushed him off of me and came down on top of him. When I lowered myself down, his head went back as his mouth fell opened and he gripped onto my thighs so hard that I almost had to push his hands away.  
I found a steady pace that had him making noises that I never would have pictured him making, and that alone was enough to do it for me again. I grabbed onto his shoulders and started grinding down on him until I hit my release again. He held me down as he forced himself up and into me until his body went stiff and he finished to.  
I laid down on top of him and his arms went around me as we both came down from the high.  
His hand ran up and down my back as I listened to his heart thumping right next to my ear.  
“You have really loved me that long?” he finally asked.  
“No. I just thought I did. I didn’t know you. I only knew what you had written and what people had said about you”  
“And you still thought that you loved me after all that?”  
“I knew all along that there was more to you Eric. I just didn’t know the extent of it. Now I do” I replied.  
“So you love me now?”  
“Why do you care? You don’t believe that love exists remember?”  
He didn’t respond to that. He just continued letting his hand go up and down my back.

The weeks were flying by so fast that I could barely keep up with what day it was most of the time. We were all still on good terms, but I knew that I had to stir it up again. With only 4 weeks left until the day, I was running out of time and nowhere near where I needed to be. Both boys acted like nothing had ever happened and wouldn’t bring it up. Dylan would ask random questions to see exactly what I knew. Eric still refused to believe that I existed in another time.  
I beat Dylan to the sound booth on this particular day, which I thought was weird. We either always met or he would be the first one there.  
He came through the door looking beside himself.  
“What’s up with you?”  
“You were right. Robyn wants to go to prom with me. So I guess we are going” he said.  
“Is that a bad thing?”  
“I really wanted to ask Casey but after you said she wouldn’t want to go, I chickened out”  
I caught myself feeling bad about it. But I knew that she would have said no. So in a way I saved him the disappointment.  
“You guys will have fun!”  
“Is that a fact? Maybe I’ll mix it up then. Get hammered and cause a scene and ruin the whole thing” he said as if he was challenging me.  
“Go ahead my friend. Change it all up. Every bit of it”  
“Ha. Nice try” he replied before his attention went to the sound board.  
“So there’s really no chance at all?”  
“Can you promise me that I’m going to be a millionaire without a care in the world by the time I’m 40?” he asked as he turned back to me.  
“I cant promise that at all. I can promise that life gets a lot better when you don’t have people telling you what to do all the time. Just imagine it Dylan. You can walk right in a store and buy your own smokes and alcohol. Go to your own house and sit on the couch and drink and smoke away while you watch R rated movies as loud as you want on your TV”  
He was for sure listening.  
“You cant even imagine how good the graphics get for movies and video games. I wish I could tell Eric about it” I continued.  
“Are there flying cars and shit?”  
“Fuck no. Disappoints the shit out of me” I replied with a laugh.  
“What else then?”  
“Stick around and find out” I said, reaching my hand out to lay on his arm.  
He looked down at it before he shook it away and without another word, he put all of his focus back on the board.

Later that evening, Eric was sat on my bed as I put away laundry in my dresser.  
“So I wanted to ask you something, but I feel like I already know the answer”  
I turned to look at him as I kneeled down on my knees with a stack of clothes in my lap.  
“Yeah?”  
“It’s about prom” he said as the color crept up his cheeks.  
I stayed put in the floor trying to work out in my head how to approach this.  
I crammed the stack of clothes in the drawer and went to sit beside him on the bed.  
“I will go if you really want to go. But If I’m being honest, I would much rather just hang out with you without all those people around”  
He looked a little disappointed and I wished that I had just said yes.  
“Could we at least go to the after prom party?”  
“I think that would be okay” I said while giving him a smile.  
“Then cool” he said while nodding his head.  
I stood up to finish what I was doing, but he caught my wrist and pulled me to sit back down.  
“Tell me about what my parents are going to do”  
I was caught off guard completely because he hadn’t asked anything about any of it.  
“I’m not sure that I should do that Eric”  
“Please?” he asked, giving me a pleading look.  
“Okay. But please don’t freak out”  
I spent the next hour telling him every detail that I could think of. He listened on, only nodding his head every now and then. I told him about Dylan’s parents as well and he seemed more shocked that he was the one being blamed than about anything else.  
“That’s bullshit. Dylan was the one with idea. I just agreed with him and then we planned together” he said as he stood up from the bed and started pacing my room.  
“I mean I guess I am the one that keeps it going. At times I think that Dylan just thought it was something to do to pass the time”  
“Dylan just wants to die Eric”  
He froze as he glared at me.  
“Well yeah, but he also wants to take as many people out with him as he can. Same with me”  
I didn’t want to give too much more information on that topic so I kept my mouth closed.  
“Are there really pictures of our dead bodies? Who would put that out there like that? Where was I buried?” he started firing off questions now, getting himself worked up.  
“Yes there are pictures. They are horrible and I wish that I had never seen them. And you weren’t buried. You were cremated”  
“They fucking burned me?” he asked like that was the most shocking thing about all of this to him.  
“Everything that you have ever written is posted online. Including school work. The only thing that hasn’t been released are the basement tapes”  
“The what?” he paused in front of me to ask.  
“The tapes that you two made where you are talking about everything”  
“Why the hell would they not release those? That was the whole point in making them” he said, finally coming to sit back down.  
“Because you have some pretty hardcore fans. A Russian dressed almost exactly like you did that day and went and did the same thing that you did. People are obsessed with the two of you”  
“For real?” he asked as a smile crept onto his face.  
“Don’t fucking smile about that Eric. I would give anything if I didn’t even know who you were honestly. You are going to hurt so many people. It’s not something to smile about”  
“Don’t start that shit. You don’t have a clue what it’s like for me”  
“But I really do Eric. I went through most of the same shit that you have and now here I am doing it again just for you. I’m telling you that life outside of high school is going to be so much better for you. Just give it a chance please!” I pleaded with him as I grabbed onto his hand and pulled him closer.  
“Don’t ask that of me Y/n. Me and V are in this together. If he goes then I go. Same with him. Now we just know to fix things so that it goes right this time. Thanks to you”  
I felt the color drain from me face.  
“Eric if those bombs had went off so many more people would have died. Don’t do that to me. I cannot live with myself knowing that I caused that” I cried out.  
“Then just pretend that I never said that”  
“I need you to leave. Right now”  
“Are you serious?” he asked, studying my face.  
“Very serious. I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t sit back and watch all this happen. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t save you. My love could have never saved you. I see that now. Just go back to how you were and I’ll stay away from you. Please do the same” I said as I walked over and held my bedroom door open for him to leave.  
“You really want that?” he asked without moving.  
“Of course I don’t want that. I want you to tell me that you aren’t going to do it. That I’m going to be sent back home on April 20th and I wont even know who you are. That you will be living a happy life somewhere far from here. Dylan to. But if you can’t tell me all of that right now and mean it then yes, I want you to go”  
He stared at me for several minutes before he got up, kissed me on the cheek, and left.  
I know that he heard the painful sobs coming out of me before he made it out the door. But he didn’t come back.


	14. Chapter 14

I stayed home from school the following day. Not even having to fake sick because I was very much sick. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t even get out of bed.  
My mom went on to work for the day after I promised that I would be okay.   
I laid in my bed and tried to figure out how I was going to fake sick for the next few weeks.  
The phone rang around lunch time and I made no effort to rush to it. When I answered I could hear lots of background noise before Casey spoke.  
“Are you okay? Why are you not here?”  
“Ask Eric if you want. I can’t do it anymore Casey”  
“So you are giving up? That doesn’t sound like you at all Y/n. Eric seems fine. I can see him from where I am right now. He’s sitting at the lunch table laughing with Dylan”  
“I don’t care what he is doing anymore Casey. I can’t help him. If anything I’ve made it worse” I replied before I hung the phone up and dragged myself back up the stairs to pull the covers over my head and cry myself to sleep again.

I woke up, hearing footsteps coming down my hallway. I assumed it would be my mom coming to check on me after work so I didn’t bother removing the covers.  
“God Y/n, are you really sick?” I recognized the voice and jerked the covers down.  
“Dylan, what are you doing here?” I asked as I sat up on the bed.  
“I can’t just come check on my friend?”  
“Don’t call me your friend anymore. If you were really my friend, then you would hear what I’m saying to you and act on it”  
He sat down on the side of my bed and looked at me for a second before he pulled his hat off and laid it on my bedside table and crawled under the covers beside me.  
“What are you doing?” I asked, scooting over so that he wasn’t right up against me.  
“If you are going to be in bed sad, then I’m going to be in your bed sad to” he replied as he rolled onto his side, facing me.  
“Please just leave me alone”  
“Nope. I have never had a person show me that they actually care about me like you do. So, talk me out of it Y/n” he replied, then waited for me to speak.  
“I don’t know how else to do that Dylan. I’ve told you both everything that I know to tell you. If you are still set on doing it then there is nothing that is going to stop you”  
“But what you don’t realize Y/n, is that you have helped stop it. You have gotten into both of our heads so much that I have even started thinking about the future beyond April. I haven’t done that in a very long time and I didn’t even realize that I was doing it until I started thinking about what you would be like in the future. I came to the conclusion that you probably wouldn’t change that much. I could see you as a old person still wearing band t-shirts and shit” he said with a laugh.  
“Once again. You aren’t old in your 30’s. But yeah you are right. I guess I really didn’t change that much”  
“I don’t think that I will either. I can’t see myself ever being the suit and tie kind of guy”  
“Will?” I asked as I sat up and turned to him.  
“What?”  
“You said will. You could have said would but you said will”  
“Don’t over react Y/n. It was just the way I said it. I told you that I have thought about it. Nothing has changed yet”  
I laid back down and crossed my arms over my chest at that.  
“Are you really done with Eric? He is tore up about it all”  
“Real tore up huh. Casey said he was laughing at the lunch table”  
“It’s all an act with him. I know him Y/n. He is anything but happy. You can’t just give up like that”  
“I can. I have to. For my own sanity. I can’t sit and listen to him laugh about hurting people when I know the pain it is going to cause. I’ve seen it Dylan. Families torn apart, kids that had their whole lives in front of them being put in the ground or confined to wheelchairs for the rest of their lives. Kids that didn’t deserve any of it. Most of them didn’t even know who you were. And you two are going to cause it all. You Dylan, the guy who I had come to feel like would risk his own life for mine. And Eric. God damnit Eric. I hate that I love him. I hate him for letting me love him even though he knew what he was about to do” I started to cry again and Dylan wrapped me into his arms.  
“Please don’t do it Dylan” I cried out as my body shook against his.  
He stayed silent, holding me while I lost my shit again.

I managed to force myself to go to the school everyday after that. Eric did not try to make contact with me and as much as it hurt, at the same time I was glad for it. Dylan tried to keep himself happy and goofy everytime I was near him and I could tell that he was feeling bad for me.   
As the days drifted by, I started just counting them down. It was inevitable and I knew that there was nothing left for me to do besides sit back and watch it all happened. I hoped more than anything that me and Casey would at least be sent back to our time before it actually started. I hoped that as soon as they got in their cars that morning loaded down with everything, that I would be in my own time. I didn’t want to witness it. I vowed to myself, and to Casey, that as soon as I was back, I would be deleting everything that involved the two of them out of my life for good. The tattoo on my hip that I had gotten long ago would be covered by something happy. Something that would help erase the memories of them. I couldn’t do it anymore. The what ifs would be gone.

The 9th of April started out like every other day had. The only difference was that I knew that it was Eric’s birthday. The day that he became a man. But that didn’t mean anything anymore. All it meant was that in 11 days the town of Littleton Colorado would never be the same again for anyone.  
I got off of the bus and went straight to my locker, keeping my head down as I had grown used to doing. Not even because of the bullying anymore. Because I didn’t want to see him.  
I managed to get through the first 2 hours without running into him, and now I knew that it was inevitable. He had gone back to sitting away from me in the class, so I was caught off guard when he came in and sat in the desk beside me. I couldn’t stop myself from looking over at him and he looked back. I pulled my eyes away and turned my attention to the teacher. I couldn’t hear anything she was saying because of the ringing in my ears, so it was all for show.  
I saw him rip out a piece of paper from his notebook and scribble something on it before he tossed it onto my desk.  
::Are you at least going to tell me happy birthday::  
I looked over at him and made eye contact and felt the tears coming before I looked away. I folded the note back up and tossed it back onto his desk.  
He kept looking at me for a long time before he scribbled on it again and tossed it back.  
::Please don’t look at me like that Y/n. You are breaking my heart::  
I picked up my pencil and wrote my response before I folded the note and tossed it back.  
::What heart Eric? Happy birthday::  
He let out a breath as he read the paper before he crumbled it up. He stood up and walked to the garbage and tossed the paper in before he sat back down. Not giving me another look.

I was ignored the rest of the day. It stung but I didn’t have anything else to say to him.   
Dylan seemed more cheerful than normal in the sound booth that afternoon. He rambled on about prom and how he was more excited for the after party than the actual dance.  
“You have to come to it Y/n. It’s gonna be a blast”  
“I’m not coming Dylan. I just want to go home” I let him know.  
“Please come. For me? I’ll make sure that you have fun. I promise”  
I shook my head no and made myself busy with drawing things in my notebook.  
He dropped it and left me alone.

I knew that everyone was getting together that night for Eric’s birthday. Even if I had been invited I wouldn’t have went of course.  
I called Casey when I finally made it off of the bus to see if she wanted to come over.  
“I’m actually going over to Eric’s house with Dylan. Please don’t be pissed at me” she let me know. I was pissed though. So pissed that I just hung up the phone without a goodbye.  
Why the hell would she do that? I had been alone in this the whole time it seemed like and now she wanted to hang out with them? Knowing that they were still going to do what they had planned. Knowing that I was dying a little more inside every second that I was trapped here not being able to do anything about it?  
I was so pissed that I couldn’t even control myself anymore as I let the 17 year old emotions over come me and I did something that I hadn’t done in a very long time.  
I went into my bathroom and locked the door. I pulled a razor from under the cabinet and I broke it open. I looked down at the blade as I let it go over the skin on my arm, pushing down just enough so that I could see blood. And then I did it again. And again. I had forgotten what it felt like to have that outlet. To feel actual physical pain instead of just the emotions of it. I laid the blade down on the counter and I slid down the wall in the bathroom and I cried as the tiny blood droplets ran down my arm.

I was laying in my bed later that evening. It was only a little past 9pm and I couldn’t do anything besides stare at the walls while I waited for the time to tick by. I heard the knock on the door downstairs but I didn’t move. I knew that my mom would get it and I had hoped that if it was for me, that she would stick to what I had said about phone calls and tell them that I was busy. No such luck.  
I heard the boots coming up the stairs and then I heard them stop outside my door.  
The knock was light the first time. When I didn’t answer, it got louder.  
“Just come in” I yelled out.  
“Get up. Get dressed. I’m getting you out of this house” Dylan said as he pulled the covers off of my and grabbed my arm. The same arm that I had put through hell hours ago.  
I winced as he grabbed it, causing him to move his hand and inspect my arm.  
“Why the fuck would you do some stupid shit like that?”  
“As if you have any room to judge me Dylan” I replied as I grabbed onto his hand and flipped it over to show the white marks on his skin from the exact same thing.  
“Mr. Cutter right?” I asked as I looked up at him. He pulled his hand away from mine roughly and put it behind his back like he was hiding it even though I had already obviously seen it.  
“You did that because of us?”  
“I did it because I needed feel something other than what I was feeling. Just like you Dylan”  
“I don’t want you to feel like I do” he replied, sitting down beside me on the bed.  
“I told you that I used to feel the same way that you do. You chose not to listen. Just like you chose not to listen to anything else I’ve said”  
“I did listen though. Please come hang out with us. I don’t want to leave you here alone”  
“I’m not going to do that Dylan. Go have fun” I said as I pulled the covers back up around me.  
He sat still for several minutes before he finally got up and left.  
Neither of the boys made another effort to talk to me for days after that. I had a feeling that Dylan had told Eric about my arm though because I would catch him from time to time trying to get a look for himself. I would hide it away everytime. No need to care now.


	15. Chapter 15

Casey came and hung out at my house the whole day of prom. I knew by the way that she was dressed that she planned on going to after prom, but she never brought it up.  
We had just finished eating dinner when she finally got the nerve up.  
“I really wish that you would go with me so that I don’t have to go alone”  
“You don’t have to go at all Casey”  
“I know that. But I want to. I want to experience it all. I know that you will regret it if you don’t go to”  
“I will have a lot of regrets but that won’t be one of them” I let her know.  
She got my mom in on the argument though and it became clear that I didn’t have much of a choice.  
I got myself presentable enough to be out in public without too much effort and I made my mom promise that if I called her, she would come get me without any questions asked.  
We were dropped off right in front of the front door and I followed behind Casey. The place was packed with girls in all different colored dresses, and some that had went, home to change before.   
We found Dylan and Nate and after Dylan has made a big show about me showing up, he pulled Casey away to one of the games. I stuck close to Nate and he didn’t seem to mind as he carried on about how he had a bottle of mixed liquor in his car that he planned on sneaking away to drink throughout the night.   
I hadn’t let myself calm down a bit by the time my eyes landed on Eric. He came through the door on the other side of the room with his hands shoved down in the pockets of his black pants. His KMFDM shirt was untucked and he had his hat on backwards. I could tell by the way that he was moving that he had to have been drinking.  
He walked right over to me and Nate and stepped so close to me that I could smell the whiskey on his breath.  
“Need to talk to you” he mumbled out as he grabbed onto my arm and started pulling me through the crowd.  
“Eric where are we going? I don’t want to talk to you” I said as I tried to pry his hand off of my arm.  
His only response was to keep pulling me. We ended up out in the hallway next to a row of lockers. The lights were dimmed to almost nothing since no one was supposed to be in any other part of the school.  
He stopped and turned to me and started towards me. I backed away until I felt the locker hit my back and I couldn’t move anymore.  
“Stop looking like you are scared of me god damnit. I have never hurt you Y/n”  
“I don’t want to be here right now” I breathed out as he rested his forehead against mine and his hand came up to my cheek.  
“Tell me that you love me”  
I shook my head no and tried again to get away from him. He only pushed me further into the locker.  
“Please Y/n. Tell me that you love me”  
“I can’t do that anymore Eric” I replied.  
“You stopped loving me right? Just like I said”  
“Did you change your mind about Tuesday? I will tell you that I love you if you tell me that it isn’t going to happen Eric”  
He brought his lips to my cheek and pressed them against me roughly as he held me against the locker.  
“Say it now or you will never get the chance to say it again” he breathed out against my skin.  
Before I could respond, the door that we had come out of busted open, and I turned my head to see Dylan and Casey come out. She was holding his hand and pulling him with her. They got to the opposite wall and I watched as she pushed him against the row of lockers, and he leaned down and kissed her. I felt my jaw drop open at the sight. Eric didn’t even seem to notice that we weren’t alone anymore as he continued right where he left off.  
“I should let you know that if anyone could have saved me, it would have been you. It just isn’t in the cards for me Y/n” He said right next to my ear.  
“Then get away from me”  
“No. I want to spend the rest of this night with you. I wanted to have this last night”  
“No!” I yelled out as I shoved him back with everything I had in me. Bringing both Casey and Dylan’s attention our way.  
Dylan took 4 long steps and made it to us before Eric could make another move.  
“What are you doing man?” Dylan asked, putting himself between the two of us.  
“Don’t make it your business V”  
“It is my business. Look at her dude! She is scared shitless. We did this to her. Not just you but me to. Leave her alone. She doesn’t have anything to do with it anymore” Dylan said as he put his hand on my lower back and led me back inside the crowded room and out the door.  
“This is why I didn’t want to come” I cried out once we were outside.  
“He is drunk Y/n. He doesn’t know what he is doing right now. That was his last effort to get you back I think” Dylan said as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one for both of us.  
“Why would he want to do that? In 2 days you will both be gone”  
He didn’t say a word. He just stood beside me smoking his cigarette in silence.

Dylan ended up taking Eric’s keys and after convincing me to get in the car, he dropped me off at my house before he took Casey and Eric home with him.  
I sat up all night long in a trance as I thought about everything that I had been through since I got here. It was all a mess. It was nothing like I had hoped for at all. I wished that I had never seen the ad. I wish that I had never sent the video or been picked. I wish that I could have just been a normal person with a normal life. One who didn’t give a shit about the two boys from Colorado. I should have been married with kids and nice house. Instead, I would live out the rest of my life with the memories of all of this and how I had failed them like everyone else had.

I never closed my eyes long enough to sleep. I had been awake for so long that I was starting to see shit. I hadn’t showered or changed clothes since Saturday night. What was the point. The sun was coming up on the morning of April 20th and everything was about to be over.  
I let my eyes close long enough for all of the images to flash through my head. That first kiss, the way that he finally got enough confidence to touch me whenever he wanted, the sound of his heart beating in my ear as I lay on his chest. I shook my head trying to erase it all as I wiped the tears from my face for the millionth time in the last 48 hours.  
I didn’t understand why I was still here. I knew that at this very moment Dylan was probably trotting down the stairs, headed or the front door, as his mom called out to him. Eric’s house was about to be empty, other than the two boys loading themselves down with everything they thought they would need.  
There was no point in me still being here. I didn’t want to know that it was happening while I was laying in my bed not able to stop it.  
I put my pillow over my head, trying to will my body to take me away from here. So I didn’t know anyone else was in the room until I felt myself being pulled up.  
“Get up! Now Y/n! Get over there! If there’s still a chance then please go!” Casey was crying hysterically as she pulled me out of my bed and pushed me towards the door.  
I didn’t question how she had gotten there so early in the morning. I didn’t question why I was listening to her and currently running at full speed down the road.  
I didn’t stop to breathe until I was on Reed street and I saw both of the cars still in the driveway.  
Eric came out of the house first. Dressed in what I had expected to see him in, including the flannel shirt. He had a gym bag in his hand I knew that it didn’t have the propane tank inside it yet because he would be going from here to the store.  
I took off running again and when he saw me coming, he opened his trunk and slung the bag over into it and tried to get inside of the car before I could get to him. He failed.  
“Stop Eric! You can’t do this! Please don’t do this!” I cried as I grabbed onto the back of his shirt and hung on with everything I had.  
“Let me go Y/n” he said as he tried to shake me off of him.  
I heard Dylan come up behind me and stop. He didn’t say a word as he watched us.  
“Look at me Eric” I said as I tried to turn him around.  
He finally turned towards me, but his eyes went to the ground.  
“Look at me!” I yelled as I grabbed the sides of his face with both of my hands.  
He looked down at me with empty eyes.  
“I love you Eric. I love you so much. Please don’t do this. Just walk away right now and I swear to you that I will find you”  
“Let me go Y/n. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you don’t just let me go” he said in a low voice.  
Dylan took a step towards us and I put my hand back, telling him to back off.  
“Did you hear me? I love you Eric. I know that you love me to”  
“You don’t know shit” he said in a higher pitched tone as he shoved me backwards and into Dylan.  
“I’m not letting you leave. Go ahead and hurt me” I yelled out as I shoved past him and got into the drivers seat of his car.  
He looked over his shoulder at Dylan before he knelt down beside me.  
“I’m not going to hurt you Y/n. But I need you to get out of my car and walk away” he said, more gentle this time.  
“No. You aren’t going unless I go to”  
He stood up and went over to Dylan. I could hear them whispering back and forth but I couldn’t make out anything that they were saying.  
I watched in horror as Dylan went to his car and got in and pulled away.  
“No” I sobbed out as Eric grabbed onto my arm and pulled me out of the car.  
“Calm down Y/n” he whispered into my ear as he held me into him.  
I shook my head and tried to pull myself out of his hold but it only made him squeeze me tighter.  
“Say it again”  
I continued shaking my head and fighting to get air into my lungs.  
“Please say it again Y/n”  
“I love you so much Eric”  
“I love you to Y/n” he replied as I lost the fight and went limp in his arms.


	16. Chapter 16

When my eyes finally opened again, I felt like I had been hit by a bus. My head was pounding, and my ears were ringing. I tried to focus my eyes, but everything was a blur.  
I could make out the shape of someone standing right in front of me and as my vision started to return back to normal, I saw that it was a child, no more than 8 years old, standing in front of me. His mouth was moving but the ringing was preventing me from hearing what he was saying.  
I couldn’t make my body move to sit up, so I just stared at the child, trying to read his lips.  
As the ringing went away, I could hear the words more clearly and he was saying something about a pair of boots that he couldn’t find.  
“Mommy why aren’t you talking to me?” the small boy said as he leaned down and put his face right in mine.  
“Max! This was supposed to be mom’s day to sleep in! Dad is gonna be so mad at you!” I heard a female voice say but I still couldn’t move enough to turn towards where it was coming from.  
“Uh oh, mommy go back to sleep okay. I’m sorry that I woke you up” The boy now known as Max said as he tucked me in and walked away.  
“Since you are awake, can I borrow a t-shirt for my date tonight? The one I wanted to wear is dirty” the other voice said, and as it got closer I saw a girl around the age of 16 standing in front of me.  
I finally managed to sit up and as I looked around the room, I had no idea where I was. I had to be dreaming.  
“Jayden are you kidding me right now? Nobody listens to me around here!” Came the next voice that sounded extra angry.  
“Hey it wasn’t me! Max woke her up trying to find his stupid combat boots” the girl said back to the man that suddenly appeared in the doorway. I almost quite literally shit myself.  
There stood Eric. An older version of Eric than I had just seen. His hair was shorter, and I could see a few grey ones around his temple. He had on black lounge pants and a very faded Rammstein t-shirt.  
He gave me a sympathetic look as he ushered the girl out of the room.  
“I really did try. I’m sorry” he said as he came to sit on the side of the bed next to me.  
“You okay babe?” he asked as he looked at me weirdly.  
“What the hell is happening right now” I said really to myself.  
“I know it’s a mad house. These kids never stop. I don’t know how you did this shit every day” he replied with a laugh and when he smiled, I could see the faint wrinkles form beside his eyes.  
“How are you here right now?” I asked as I brought my hand up to the side of his face.  
As soon as I made contact, it felt like the room had started to spin and I saw a bright flash of light behind my eyes.  
I was once again in Eric’s arms in his front yard. Except it was the younger Eric. It was like I was watching a movie play out as he held me to him and then put me in the passenger seat of his car and drove away. It flashed to us wearing a cap and gown and holding up our diplomas, posing for a picture as his mom and mine snapped several. Another flash and I was walking beside him, both of us carrying boxes up a set of stairs and into an empty apartment. He took the box from me and set them both down before he pushed me onto the ground and came down on top of me.   
The next flash had me wearing a long white gown as I was walked down the aisle covered in rose petals, I looked beside me and saw my mom smiling over at me as she held onto my arm with one hand and wiped tears from her eyes with the other. Eric stood at the end of the aisle wiping his own tears from his eyes as he waited for me to get to him. I could see the officiants mouth moving but I heard no words as Eric lifted the veil that covered my face and kissed me.  
Again, the light that could have blinded me went behind my eyelids and I was now in a hospital bed with Eric by my side. He held my hand and spoke softly into my ear as we welcomed a baby girl into the world. I looked down at the infant in my arms and I felt the love coursing through me as if it was happening right then. I saw Eric in this very room sitting in a rocking chair with the baby on his chest, talking to her softly as he rocked her to sleep.  
The next flash of light made my chest hurt, it hadn’t all been rainbows and unicorns as I watched myself screaming in Eric’s face as he screamed right back at me and I watched him walk out the door. Only to come back in minutes later and grab me in his arms and vow to never let me go.  
Another flash and I was back in the hospital room, this time with a tiny little boy in my arms. I could hear Eric’s voice clear as day as he called the boy by name and I looked up at him.  
“Max?”  
“Yeah babe, like Mad Max” he replied as he looked down at the boy with so much love.  
The last image I received was of the two of us in this very bed, tangled together in a pile of limbs as we made love. I could feel him showing me how much he loved me just from watching it all.  
I blinked my eyes rapidly as I was pulled back in to the present and I felt both of his hands come up to my face, wiping away the tears that had spilled out.  
“What’s wrong Y/n?” he asked as his face filled with worry.  
“Nothing Eric. Nothing is wrong at all” I replied before I leaned over to him and kissed him with everything I had in me.  
“Eww gross” came from the hallway and when I looked over Eric’s shoulder, I saw Max standing there in a pair of small black pants with his tiny black combat boots on, strings untied, and a paw patrol shirt to top it off.  
“I’ll show you gross” Eric said as he charged at the kid and picked him up, tossing him down on the bed and tickling him until he was squealing.  
“Mommy help me!” Max squealed out as he tried to get free from his daddies attacks.  
“Oh I’ll help you alright” I replied, grabbing his small leg and pulling the boot off and tickling his little foot.  
“I’m gonna peeeeeeee” Max yelled out causing Eric and I to both surrender.  
“Okay okay. Let me tie those for you and then go finish packing your bag before Nana gets here” Eric said as he laced the boys boots up.  
The teenage girl came bounding back into the room and opened the closet up and started searching through the shirts.  
“Jayden did you ask first?” Eric said as Max jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.  
“I did. She just kept looking at me so I assumed it was cool” she responded as she grabbed a shirt off of a hanger and turned towards us.  
“Can everyone please act halfway normal when Dakota gets here this time?” she said with her hands on her hips, and I immediately caught her fathers movements in her.  
“You know we aren’t normal child” Eric laughed out before he leaned back down and kissed me.  
“I made you lunch whenever you want to come down and get it” he said before he to left the room.

Now that I was alone, I had a second to let it all sink in. I got up from the bed and went over to the closet in search of clothes. I pulled out a pair of jeans that looked a little too momish for me and tossed them on the ground, coming back with a pair of black leggings. I dug through the shirts before my eyes drifted up to where Eric’s clothes were hanging and I spotted the faded KMFDM shirt. I pulled it on and headed for the door, only to be stopped when I saw the laptop on the dresser.  
I glanced out into the hallway and didn’t see anyone so I quickly opened it up and went to google. I typed in Columbine High school. Nothing unordinary, just like I had hoped. Next I typed in Eric Harris. I eventually did find a picture of the one that I was looking for but it wasn’t anything special. I closed the laptop and choked down the lump in my throat before I went down the stairs, in search of the kitchen.  
The scene in front of me was enough to make anyones heart grow. Eric was at the counter making coffee as Max was sat on top of it, holding a smart phone that was blaring the theme song to spongebob. Both of the boys sang along, not noticing that I had came into the room.  
“Hey mommy! Come sing with us!” Max called out.  
“Yes sir” I replied with a laugh as I walked up behind Eric and wrapped my arms around his waist.

We were all still in the kitchen when Jayden came down the stairs. I hadn’t looked over yet but I heard Eric’s tone when he spoke, which made me look her way.  
“No. Go change”  
“Daaaaad. Everybody wears shorts like these” she replied with a huff.  
“If everybody jumped off the top of a building, I guess you would do that to then huh? I can see your butt Jay. Go change or you aren’t going”  
I laughed at his words and he shook his head at me.  
“She gets that shit from you, don’t laugh” he replied.  
“I could see Jay’s butt” Max chimed in causing Eric to continue shaking his head.  
“I did not dress like that and you know it” I replied.  
“If you had’ve then we probably would have had these two shit heads a lot sooner” Eric said as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.  
“Daddy said shit mommy”  
“Nooo Max! Don’t say that. Damnit. I mean… God I’m never gonna be good at this” Eric replied with red cheeks.  
“It looks like you are pretty good at it actually” I replied as I leaned in and kissed him again.  
Jayden reappeared and Eric gave her a nod before she plopped down on the couch in the living room. I went in to join her, thinking that maybe I was supposed to have some kind of talk with her since she was going on a date and all.  
“I want you to be safe okay?”  
“I’m always safe mom”  
“I meant like, safe as in”  
“Mom! We do not need to go there. Have you lost your mind?” she replied with a red face. Her fathers daughter for sure.  
“Maybe I have actually”  
There was a knock on the door before anything else could be said and the girl jumped up and rushed to it.  
“Hey Dakota! I’m ready!”  
I got up and walked to the door and met Eric halfway. I felt my jaw drop as I looked at the other teenage girl standing at the door.  
“Dakota is a girl?” I whispered over to Eric.  
“Don’t remind me” he said as he rolled his eyes and went into the living room.  
“Well alright then. You two have fun” I said, trying my hardest to contain my laughter over it all. Imagine Eric Harris’s face when his daughter came out as gay. I wish like hell I could have seen that in one of those flashes of light.  
“At least she can’t get pregnant right?” I said with a laugh once I joined him on the couch.  
“I do not want to think about that Y/n. Stop it. She knows that I love her no matter what she does. I wouldn’t want to think about her doing that with anyone. Ever” he said, emphasizing the last word.  
“Nana is here!” Max yelled out as he ran towards the front door and slung it open.  
Eric stood up and walked to the door and I slowly followed. I didn’t know how I was going to handle seeing a much older Kathy Harris.  
But when I made it to the door, It wasn’t her at all.  
I saw my own mother coming up the sidewalk, only stopping once our small child grabbed her around the waist.  
“Mom!” I let out as I did exactly the same thing that he did.  
“What did I do to deserve all of these hugs?” she asked with a laugh as she hugged the both of us back.  
“Get in here Eric” she said with a laugh.  
“I’ll wait my turn” he replied, laughing back at her.  
Once Max let her go, he ran over to her car and threw his bag into the backseat before he fastened his seatbelt.  
“Looks like someone is ready to go. We can chat tomorrow when I drop him off. You two have fun tonight. You deserve a little break” she said before she went to the car and pulled away.  
I watched her drive off with tears in my eyes.  
“What’s going on with you today huh?” Eric said as his arms went around my stomach and he nuzzled his face into my neck.  
“I’m just happy”  
“Me to babe” he replied.  
“Now let’s go get ready”

I didn’t have a clue where we were going or what I was supposed to wear so I fixed my hair and makeup as I watched Eric put his clothes on. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a button up shirt so I assumed we were going somewhere that I needed to look nice. I dug through the closet and pulled out a short maroon dress that I didn’t hate when I looked at myself in the mirror.  
“Mmm I can’t wait to get that off of you later” Eric said as I put on the beige heels I had found.  
“We could always just stay here then” I let him know, also anticipating where the night would end.  
“nah we promised we would be there. We have to go for at least a little while”  
I wanted to ask questions but I knew that I already seemed off so I just went with it.  
Eric drove us across town and pulled into a steakhouse.   
He parked the car and came over to open my door, reaching in for my hand to help me out.  
“Okay here’s the plan. Code word is going to be rope. When you are ready to go then just say the word” he said as he wrapped his arm around my lower back and we headed inside.  
“Why rope?” I asked.  
“Because I plan on tying you to the bed later of course” he said into my ear, causing my cheeks to go hot and my legs to quiver.  
“Ahh there they are” Eric said, pointing to a long table at the back of the restaurant.  
I let my eyes follow his finger and I immediately saw Casey. She saw me to at the same time and she stood and came at me, almost running.  
We met in the middle, colliding into each other as we made contact.  
“Thank god” she whispered out.  
“What the hell is happening?”  
“Your guess is as good as mine” she whispered back before she led us to the table.  
The next person I saw was Dylan. Same big goofy smile on his face as he stood and came over to hug Eric. When he turned to me, I let my hand go up to his cheek, much like I had done to Eric earlier in the day.  
“Good to see you to best friend” he laughed out before he pulled me into a hug, causing my dress the raise up in the back. I felt Eric grab it and pull it back down before he leaned over into my ear.  
“Rope. Fucking rope”  
I laughed and playfully pushed him away before taking my seat.  
I soon found out that we were here to celebrate Dylan and Casey’s wedding anniversary. I sent her a look and she shrugged her shoulders at me, as surprised about it as I was.  
They both seemed to be happy though and that’s really all that mattered.  
Conversations went on all around me, but I couldn’t do anything but sit back and look at the 4 of us. I was so happy that I knew that I would cry at any second.  
We had finished eating but everyone kept sitting and talking so I stayed put as well, just enjoying it.  
I felt Eric’s hand come under the table and rest on the top of my thigh and I jumped at the contact. He shot me a smile before he let his hand go up higher until he was almost touching me where I wanted him to.  
“Rope” I said out louder than I had intended to but nobody seemed to notice except for me and him.


End file.
